Where You Belong
by reig
Summary: Jane and Lisbon were together, but broke up. None of them is over the other. How will they find their ways back to each other? A story inside a story: their present struggling with flashbacks of their days together!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! It's been too long since I published anything here… But here I am now with this brand new story! I really really hope you will like the idea and enjoy the fic!  
Actually, I've been writing this for a while now and I decided that some reviews and a little pressure from deadlines would improve my writing speed… ;)  
I apologize for any mistake, I swear I tried to check it many times! **

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters! All the rights go to Bruno Heller and CBS…_

_Chapter 1_

"I am so sorry! I swear I had no idea he was going to do that, sir! Please accept my apologies instead of his too... I really can't say anything for his excuse, anything else than how deeply sorry I am!" Agent Teresa Lisbon hurriedly said to the father of her team's latest victim. She stepped nervously from one foot to another and she ran her fingers through her dark brown hair.

"I can't believe... That bastard!" the man muttered under his breath, his eyes staring angrily around.

"I'm really sorry! And I can promise, the CBI will pay for all the damage he caused!" Lisbon said, and bit into her lower lip. She knew that it will cost the Bureau a whole lot of money, and it was all Jane's fault. Of course, just as usual...

"Whatever! Just get him out of here now!" the man waved her away, and she said a quick goodbye before heading out of the building to find her team.

She was fuming to say the least, as she stormed out of the doors and looked around furiously. She saw patrols not so gently helping the killer into a car. Cho was standing next to them, giving instructions, arranging everything. Just like he used to do when Lisbon was busy apologizing for Jane's behaviour.

VanPelt was talking with Jane beside the SUV, and judging by the slight shrugs and eyerolls of the consultant, Grace was most probably chiding him. _Doesn't stop me from shooting him after that...,_ thought Lisbon. She was so mad, she could feel her anger burning through her veins.

"Hey boss, everything's okay?" she heard Rigsby's question as the tall agent came towards her with Cho on his left.

"Yeah, I talked to him, apologized and all... But Jane's in for quite a speech! He can't just do what he want without telling us..."

"He always does that..."Rigsby smirked.

"Yes, but this was a high profile case. He had been told not to mess around,yet he did... God, what will I get from the boss!" Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut as she stopped near the SUV.

"Well, I think he will know about this rather soon..." Cho muttered darkly.

"It's better if he hears it from me... I'll call him before we go back to the CBI, all right?" she asked, and when the two men nodded, she fished out her cell phone from her jacket pocket and dialed her boss' number.

Her call was short, and Lisbon sighed deeply as soon as she ended it. She stepped to the SUV, and glared at Jane who was grinning at her shamelessly, from ear to ear.

"Everything's fine, Lisbon?" he asked, and she resisted the urge to punch him in the nose.

"Shut up Jane! We will talk as soon as we get back to the office!" she growled at him and opened the car.

"Ooh, I'm in real trouble this time, aren't I?" He asked in mock worry, making Lisbon even more angry. Why couldn't he take something seriously for once?

She slammed her door shut and started the engine. The other members of the team barely had time to get inside the car before she drove off.

It wasn't a long ride back to the HQ but the silence was heavy in the car. Lisbon kept her eyes on the road, and her agents in the back seat refused to talk too. She could imagine how their eyes met from time to time, in an inaudible conversation, but neither of them spoke. At halfway to the CBI Jane started to get bored and he squirmed in the seat next to Lisbon. It was annoying her to no end, but she pursed her lips together and decided not to talk to Jane at all.

"Can I turn the radio on?" Jane finally asked, and Lisbon raised her eyebrow as she glanced at him.

"Oh, now you remember to _ask_ things…" she said sharply. Jane sighed as if _he_ were the one who got the right to be annoyed with _her_ behavior.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'!" he said with a shrug and Lisbon gripped the steering wheel tighter.  
After a moment, she heard the soft music coming from the radio. Jane obviously didn't like it, so he changed channels a few times, and settled on classical.

Jane hummed along the sound of a piano happily and Lisbon grimaced. Damn him, why was he so incredibly adorable sometimes?

She focused on the road and tried to shut him out completely. She heard the silent murmurs of Van Pelt and Rigsby as the two discussed the case and argued about their share of paperwork. Cho stayed quiet, and when Lisbon checked in the rearview mirror she saw that he was deeply immersed in a book.

Her anger faded a little, but her palms were still itching to slap Jane. She mentally sighed at the thought of giving him a lecture about his behaviour again. She knew that he wouldn't listen to her at all, she might as well yell at a wall. She hated that he never seemed to care about her orders and he didn't even appear to be bothered when her furious words crashed on him. He just swayed his head, and frankly, looked plain bored. It made her more angry, and he looked more bored, and it was a freaking endless circle.

Sometimes she wished she didn't have to put up with Jane, but she was well aware of his importance on her team. As annoying and stubborn he could be, he was a huge help in solving cases. They needed him, and as far as he was willing to stay with them, and help justice win she was capable of tolerating his reckless cons and childish antics.

The moment the car stopped in the parking lot, Jane was out of the vehicle. Lisbon snorted as she gazed after his quickly disappearing figure. He knew just as perfectly as her, that he couldn't escape the inevitable. She had to talk to him. Still, he almost flew to the elevator, and before Lisbon could even close the SUV properly, he was out of sight.

She gave instructions to the others while they rode the elevator, and when they reached the bullpen everyone went to do their own work. Lisbon strolled to her office, and collapsed into her chair for a few seconds.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Lisbon stopped in front of the attic's entrance, facing the heavy metallic sliding doors. She lifted her fist and roughly knocked twice. It was loud and she winced slightly as it echoed through the room. There was no answer but she heard a distant clicking sound which could be a teacup hitting the table. She was sure Jane was in there so she didn't wait any longer just pushed the door open a little. She poked her head through the gap, and instantly saw the blond curls of her consultant. He was sitting in an old chair, facing the window, teacup on the table beside him.

She sighed and stepped inside.

"Jane!" she said firmly. His head turned left, not quite towards her, but she was sure he was eyeing her from his peripheral vision. "Jane, you know you can't just run away from me!" she told him and walked closer.

"Yeah, I never could!" he murmured, and there was a strange sadness in his tone that made her stop. She scowled at his backside and rubbed her eyes.

"Jane, I don't want to give you a lecture…" she started.

"But still, here you are…" he interrupted, and Lisbon could feel her temper rise, and her fury spread in her body once again. She gritted her teeth and took one more step closer.

"Jane! Take this seriously! You just completely ruined the party of the Mexican Consul and accused his wife of cheating him with his assistant, then him of being a smuggler." She listed and Jane actually smirked at her words. She was about to snap and shout at him with all she had, but in the last second she managed to compose herself. "And why did you do it? For fun?" she questioned and finally he turned to look straight at her.

"Well, my dear, I did solve the case, in case you haven't noticed it…" he shrugged and slowly stood up.

"It wasn't necessary to point out Mrs. Moreno's affair. Not to solve the case at least…" she arched her eyebrow.

"Okay, that part was for my amusement only! I admit!" he put his hands up in surrender. Though he still didn't seem like he regretted it at all. His eyes were sparkling with mischief and she gulped. She absolutely _hated_ him right then. He was smug and arrogant, and careless. She had to clean up his mess, and she was sick of it.

"Jane! How many times do I have to tell you, that we do police work! We do not stand in front of thousand or so people and tell all kinds of things to piss them off, and make them angry. Sometimes I think you do it just to make my work more difficult." She said and he chuckled.

"I would never do anything like that Lisbon!" he stated and reached out for his cup. He lifted it to his mouth and took a deliberate sip.  
Lisbon averted her eyes from his face and above his shoulder she looked out of the window on the city. The sun was beginning to go down, and the higher buildings cast a shadow on the shorter ones. She wondered when she will have any time to go to the beach and just watch as the sun goes down, painting beautiful colors on the ocean. Considering the ever growing pile of paperwork on her desk, that day wouldn't be anytime soon.

"Look Jane!" she sighed at last, tearing her eyes away from the view to look at him. "I can't work with you, if you don't work with me..." she told him, her voice on the verge of genuine sadness. "I need you to understand that you have to think before you do!"

"I always think before I do! In fact, I do a lot of thinking Lisbon..." he said.

"Then why do you do such idiot things?" she cried out. "You know I'm always there to have your back, and even when you do your tricks without telling me, I'm there to cover for you, and to calm people down before they get you fired, or killed... Jane, why don't you trust me?" she asked desperately, and as their eyes met, she saw his silent smile.

"I do trust you, my dear. But what would you have said, if I told you my plan this time?"

"To use your common sense, and think of another way to unfold the mystery of the murderer. Or you could have simply told me who it was..." she told him, and he grinned like it was exactly the answer he expected.

"See, you and your common sense! You know Lisbon, my common sense is slightly different from yours, and it allows me to help you guys solve many cases. Furthermore, think about it, if I told you all my plans, you had been fired years ago. I'm just protecting your career." he said innocently, and she rolled her eyes.

"Well, you aren't doing a really good job! If you didn't notice, I get called into the boss' office weekly, and yelled at because of you!"

"But you still have your job!" he pointed out triumphantly.

She snorted and shook her head in disbelief.

"You are impossible..." she muttered.

"Oh, but we both know you love me anyways!" Jane replied cheekily, then went quiet in an instant.

Lisbon looked at him with wide eyes, and saw the regret and guilt in his blue eyes immediately. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, blinking back the salty tears that so suddenly welled up in her eyes. Jane opened his mouth to say something, maybe an apology, she guessed. But he stayed quiet instead and she appreciated it.

Because they both knew he was right. She loved him, with all her heart. She was pathetically and irrevocably in love with him. And by the way his eyes fell from hers, and his fingers tangled together awkwardly, he had feelings for her too. Still.

**So… What do you think? Was it good? Bad?  
Please tell me what you think! I'm dying to hear your opinion!  
Thank you everyone for giving this story a shot and reading, I hope it didn't disappoint you!  
Also, I know this chapter was awfully short, but I promise I will try to write longer ones! Oh, and there wasn't a flashback in this chapter yet, but in the next there will be a good, long memory! ;)  
I will try to update soon, at the latest one week from today! :)  
I really appreciate every single word you write, so please please review! :)  
Until then, xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry for the late update. I've had a hell of a week and I didn't have time to write and upload. I hope you'll forgive me and accept this chapter as an apology…:)  
Also, thank you all so much for the amazing feedback on the first chapter! I'm thrilled to see that you are interested and you like the story… Every word that you wrote and every alert made my heart melt, so thanks for making my life brighter! :)  
Now, as promised there is a flashback in this chapter ****(the parts in slanted) **, I hope you will like it!

_Disclaimer: Nope, the show's not mine…_

_Chapter 2_

They caught him. Caught Red John. It had been almost a year, but it was still so clear in Lisbon's mind like it was yesterday. The panic rising in her, the control of the situation running through her fingers like sand, the bloodcurdling fear, and the final gunshot.

_Jane slipped out of the bullpen somewhere along the afternoon. It wasn't unusual, he did it almost every week, but that day was different. Because it was the 'big case'. It was Red John, and he was so close. Lisbon's heart raced faster in her chest every time a new lead, a new clue came into view. It was suspicious. Like the serial killer wanted to be caught. It gave her an uneasy feeling, but she repressed it, going with the flow. _

_It took her more than an hour to realize that Jane wasn't just taking a nap in the attic, or going out for a tea, or a walk. Later she cursed herself for it so many times. How could she miss that? Maybe she was too immersed in the case to notice Jane's plan. _

_When it occurred to her, it was already too late. Jane was gone without any clue to where he was headed. Of course he wouldn't leave any footprints behind if he didn't want them to follow... _

_But she wasn't the leader of this team by accident, she looked at every information again, really carefully. Trying to think 'out of the box', like Jane would do. She kept asking herself 'What would I see if I were Jane?'. Her persistent searching was successful, and she found the tiny hints in the murder of the young girl. Though she was too slow for her own liking. She left a message for Cho, who was interviewing a suspect with VanPelt, since Rigsby was on sick leave. Then she didn't hesitate any longer, she rode the elevator down to the parking lot, and drove off in a dangerous speed._

_She was right about Jane's trip. She found his car next to the entrance of a park, left there carelessly, with open doors._

_She asked around, and a guy selling hot dogs remembered seeing a "blond man walking away with another fella' wearing a hoodie and a cap". She followed his instructions, and soon walked on a deserted, narrow street. _

_She almost missed it. The small red drop on one of the steps leading to a door. But in the last minute she spotted it, and stopped dead in her tracks. It looked like blood, and it gave her shudders. It couldn't be Jane's blood! _

_She ran up the few steps, and pushing at the door she found it open. Not that she was surprised. Red John probably wanted to trap and then kill them. Just like that. It was kind of a genius plan, she had to admit. He lures Jane to a place like this, dark and empty. And of course Lisbon would go after her consultant, trying to save his ass again. This way Red John could kill them both without much effort._

_She strolled along a long corridor with stuffy air. Her senses were sharpened to any sound or movement, but it was all still. She looked into rooms, opened doors, searched for stairs or secret entrances. There was none. She was about to go back to the door, maybe call Cho and ask him to check out this neighborhood, when someone knocked her to the ground. It was too dark for her to see properly, and even though she did everything in her strength to fight, she soon found herself pinned to the ground, then it all went black._

_She remembered coming back to consciousness. The dizzy feeling in her head, then the confusing little sounds that came from right beside her. Small whimpers, then panting. She managed to push her eyelids open, squinting instantly as she saw the light from the single lamp in the room. Her neck was numb, stinging at one point under her ear. As she looked to her right she realized that the strange, pained sounds came from Jane. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of her friend hanging from the ceiling by the rope tied to his wrists. His face was pale, and his hands were bloody. His pretty crystal eyes were half closed, and his expression told Lisbon that he was hurt. _

_She was tied to a chair, about twenty feet away from him, a gag in her mouth keeping her from talking to Jane. She squirmed in her seat, making it sway dangerously. But the noise was enough to get Jane's attention. His eyes fluttered open, and as he focused them on her, Lisbon saw shock register on his face._

_"Lisbon!" he croaked, moisturizing his probably dry lips._

_She let out a strangled moan helplessly, roaming his body for signs of severe physical injury. He seemed weary, and weaker than she had ever seen him. A violent tremble shook her and she felt tears escaping her eyes, flowing down her cheeks._

_"Lisbon why did you come after me?" his devastated whisper broke the silence. Being unable to answer him, and more importantly to demand answers from him drove her crazy._

_She tugged at her ropes, but there was no hope of getting rid of them. _

_"I didn't want you to be here Lisbon! I don't want you in danger! I can't let you..." his voice died away, his face contorting with pain as he moved a bit, and she squeezed her eyes shut as the ropes cut into his skin more deeply._

_Just then the door creaked open and goose bumps appeared all over her from the sweep of cool air that invaded the room._

_"How good to see you finally awake, Agent Lisbon!" a creepy, high voice said as the owner stepped into the room._

_Lisbon couldn't see Red John's face because he carefully stayed in the darkness. When he walked closer to her, and stepped over the lighting was too blinding, and she didn't see his facial expressions. But one thing got engraved into her mind for eternity. His evil, merciless, almost black irises._

_He walked behind her back, and for a moment the tension was unbearable in the room. Lisbon saw from the corner of her eye as Jane tried to catch a glance at the serial killer, twisting his body in an impossible, but probably really painful angle. Her blood was thumping in her ear loudly. _

_The only sound that broke the frightening quietude was the small crack, followed by a quickly muffled scream from Lisbon. Red John chuckled amusedly behind her and pinched her now broken pinky once more, causing more pain to run through her whole arm._

_"Don't!" Jane's cry filled the room, his tone on the edge of begging._

_"Oh why not Patrick? Dear Teresa here has to have some fun too! It's not fair if only you get all the attention..." Red John laughed out loud. The sound dry and humorless. The laughter of a broken man. _

_"Please don't hurt her..." Jane pleaded, his body still turned towards them and Lisbon could see how it hurt him. His lips trembled and his eyes were narrowed from the effort to keep his strong façade up._

_"I have to Patrick! Especially now, that I saw how much it hurts you to see it..." the man told Jane, and he hung is head._

_"I'm so sorry Teresa!" Jane whispered with half closed eyes._

_"Oh, first name basis! Terrific!" Red John cheered before he bent down, and without any warning broke another one of her fingers._

_The burning pain was immediate, and she couldn't stop the short yell and the sharp intake of breath. She gritted her teeth and lifted her chin, not willing to give this monster what he wanted. He could break her fingers one by one, and she won't even wince. Especially not when he did it to hurt Jane!_

_He didn't break all her fingers. No. But he did far worse things. Half an hour later she was drenched in sweat and her lips were bloody from the way she bit into the gag to keep from screaming. She was half unconscious when she noticed Red John moving away from her to the motionlessly hanging form of Jane. The blond man stopped begging and crying after ten minutes, choosing to fix his eyes on the ground, and only muttering broken apologies to her every time a sound broke free from her lips. His hands were fisted so tight that his fingers were white._

_Lisbon couldn't open her eyes, but she heard a loud thud and the groan from Jane which made her nauseous. She knew she couldn't help him, and that made it even worse. She couldn't sit there and listen as Red John killed Jane. She'd rather die! _

_But her hands were tied. Literally. And all her power left her. So she was forced to listen as the serial killer tortured Jane to a point where her consultant was no longer making any sound._

_She could never forget the tiny creak of a floorboard and the surprised yelp of Red John. Then the two quick gunshots, and after a moment a third. She was too weak to lift her head, but she could remember the overwhelming relief when Grace VanPelt's familiar voice called her name, asking if she was okay, and a gentle touch on her arm telling her that her agent was right beside her. _

_The first thing she gasped when the gag was taken out of her mouth was:_

_"Jane!"_

She often woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, crying Jane's name out loud into the darkness. She believed it was even worse now, that he wasn't there with her most of the nights. She could still remember _that_ night, straight after they closed the Red John case for good. The night that changed everything for them.

_He showed up at her doorstep, late at night. His eyes puffy and red, and heartbreakingly sad. He didn't say a word, only stared at her with ocean blue eyes filled with utmost desperation._

_She ushered him inside, then went into her small kitchen to prepare a tea. Her mind throwing loads of questions at her as she boiled the water, taking out two teabags from a drawer. When she got home, she had taken a long shower and was about to snuggle up in her bed with a book when Jane unexpectedly showed up. _

_She tried to forget about the case. The cruelty, the panic of it. But in the moment she looked into Jane's eyes she knew there would be no forgetting. Not tonight, not ever. But certainly not tonight._

_When she reappeared in her living room, one mug of steaming tea in each hand, she found Jane in the same spot as earlier. He was looking at the floor, fingers playing with the edge of his vest._

_"Jane, come on... Sit!" she told him, and for once in a lifetime he did as she ordered. He slumped down on her couch and his fingers automatically wrapped around the cup she was handing him. "What's wrong, Patrick?" she asked, and the sound of his first name rolling from her lips tore him out of his trance for a second. He turned his face towards her and his look broke her to pieces. His usual mask was destroyed, his emotions clear and raw, all written over his face._

_"Shouldn't you be celebrating somewhere? He's dead, Jane!" she nudged his side playfully, her tone half tender and half teasing._

_"That's the thing Lisbon!" he said bitterly, speaking for the first time since he arrived. His tone raspy, and voice trembling. It made her even more concerned. "He's gone, and I don't feel anything!" he exclaimed hopelessly. "I don't feel like celebrating, or drinking, or laughing or crying for that matter. I can't go to the cemetery, to them, I simply can't. This is what I wanted for so long, and I don't feel anything Teresa..." he sighed and his eyes teared up a bit._

_"Jane..." she murmured, not quite sure how to console him. She laid a hand on his knee and squeezed gently. "It will be all right, you will come around!" she assured him. He put his mug on the coffee table and turned his entire body towards her._

_"I know I will. And I have you to help me, right Teresa?" he said, his voice low and intimate, his blue eyes glaring into her very soul._

_"Yes, I'll be right beside you!" she nodded and smiled softly._

_Jane's lips curled up, his eyes sparkling. He reached out, and got the teacup out of her hands, and put it on the table next to his. Then, he didn't let go of her hand as she expected, but held onto it while he searched for her eyes.  
She raised her eyebrows questioningly, but froze when she saw his serious expression. He lightly trailed his other hand up her arm, leaving goose bumps on his way and rested his hand on her neck. She shivered, but didn't move away, mouth threatening to fell open in surprise. _

_"Jane!" she breathed, but he silenced her with a loving smile._

_"Shh!" he swayed his head, then leaned closer, his index and middle finger caressing the skin beneath her ear, slipping into her hair. _

_Her heart was beating fast, racing so crazily that she was certain it was going to jump out of her chest. She felt her cheeks warm up, a blush spreading on her face._

_His face was mere inches away from her when he stopped. Their eyes still connected, and she knew he was waiting for her. His irises turned dark, his pupils dilated, his breathing heavy. But he was waiting for her to take the last step._

_Her head was spinning but his barely there touches on her neck seemed to relax her a little. She concentrated on his fingers, and she let her eyes slip closed before she leaped forward, pushing her lips ever so gently against his in the sweetest kiss possible._

And that was the night that had started a roughly six-months-long period of some sort of dating for them.

Since then they never said Red John's name out loud. If it's necessary to talk about him they only refer to him as 'Him' or 'you know'... Since then she doesn't want to hear about serial killers. Her team got one case two months ago with a serial killer, and they decided to give it to another unit. Neither of them was ready for it yet...

**So, what do you think? Was it good? Bad?  
Thank you everybody for reading!  
I can't wait to hear your opinion, so please please write a review for me! You know how it goes, reviews make my heart warm, my sun shine brighter and my fingers quicker! ;)  
Next chapter will be up just like this, hopefully sooner but at the latest in a week!  
Until then, xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys, here is the next chapter! I was quite sad because of the very few reviews for last chapter, but it made me even more grateful for those of you who took their time to write me a couple of words! Thank you all for reading, I hope you know you are appreciated!  
Sorry for the mistakes, I tried to check it…  
I hope you will like it! It's finally a longer one…  
Cheers! :)**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own it… Though Christmas is coming. Anybody? :)_

_Chapter 3_

Jane didn't even apologize for his behavior which made Lisbon grumpy all week. On Friday Rigsby forgot to bring some evidence up from the lab and she almost shouted his head off. Only the shocked looks of VanPelt and the knowing eyebrow rise from Cho sobered her up enough to think clearly. Then she shot an icy glare towards Jane, who had been napping on his couch the whole time, and stormed out of the bullpen.

So when a new case came in she decided that maybe she simply shouldn't call Jane. It would be easy, so easy. A nice, quiet morning, the first in ages. A crime scene without the annoying presence of Patrick Jane.

And she didn't call him. When she arrived she had a smile on her face, felt like this could be a good day! Cho gave her a quizzical look when he didn't see Jane's blue Citroën around, and she just shrugged, smirking.

"What do we've got?" she asked as usual and listened to VanPelt's short report of the case. A young man, shot in the chest in the parking lot of a restaurant. Rigsby chimed in, saying that the killer must have used a silencer since no one saw or heard a thing.

They questioned the restaurant staff and some of the customers, then Lisbon got to the victim's girlfriend, or what. This was their first date and the girl was horrified. Her eyes were puffy and she couldn't stop sniffling. Lisbon was more than grateful that she decided not to call Jane because she was sure he would have made the girl more depressed.

She saw that the girlfriend was too shocked to say anything useful so she asked her to come to the CBI, and guided her to the SUV, claiming that she shouldn't drive in this state. The girl-Melanie- collapsed on the seat next to Lisbon and while they waited for the rest of the team to get in she stared out of the window at the red and blue lights of the ambulance.

Lisbon sighed and hoped that Jane might take the hint and stay at home, or wherever he was sleeping today. They would need him tomorrow when they started interviewing suspects and figuring out the timeline of the murder. They would need his help in filling out the blanks, at finding the odd sock. But today, with the sad girlfriend, she could cope alone. She already knew that Melanie couldn't be the killer. Saying that she wasn't the killer type would be a mistake, and Lisbon knew that she could never trust such a clichè when it came to a murderer. But the girl was way too crushed and too terrified at the sight of the coroner's truck and all the cops and doctors. She wouldn't be able to commit murder...

She just needed the girl's statement, needed her to remember as much from tonight as she could. And that, she could handle alone.

So when they arrived to the HQ, she led Melanie into the interrogation room, but left the door open, signaling that she was not a suspect, that she could leave whenever she wanted.

"Would you like anything to drink? A coffee or some water?" she asked politely and first time since they arrived the girl looked at her through the layer of her tears.

"Can I get a tea, please?" she sniffled and Lisbon had to keep her sympathetic expression in place at this. Of course she wanted a tea, she thought and smirked mentally. She nodded and walked to the kitchen, wondering where the hell could Jane keep the teabags. She found his turquoise cup next to the sink, and she opened drawer after drawer in search of the tea. Finally, she found it on the highest shelf of the cupboard, rolling her eyes. She bet Jane would be laughing so hard at her if he saw her, jumping helplessly to reach it.  
At last she managed to grasp the edge of the box, and with a small but triumphant 'HA!' she set it onto the counter. Then she boiled the water and put the tea in it.  
Walking carefully back to the interrogation room, she paused for a moment before entering. Melanie was sitting there, with her head in her hands, her hair tousled and her whole posture was ravaged, hopeless.

Lisbon swayed her head sadly. This was their first date, could have been the start of a long, happy relationship. This was not how it's supposed to end. No date should have ended like this. This poor girl probably never expected to end up in an interrogation room when she woke up this morning. There are many things to expect on a first date. A kiss. Hand holding. Maybe the guy walking the girl to her front door. Maybe some making out. Maybe more…. But Melanie certainly never expected her first date with a nice guy ending with one of them dead. And now there she was, slumped into that uncomfortable plastic chair, wondering who the hell was the man she just spent her evening with. Wondering how the hell did she get into this mess? She had to give a statement to a cop about a homicide when all she wanted was a lovely date.  
And suddenly, Lisbon unconsciously thought about her most recent first date. With Jane.  
_It had been almost one and a half week since that fateful night after the Red John case. Jane had been silent all day, and it was getting unnerving. When at around 5 PM he disappeared, Lisbon started to panic. The whole situation was just too similar to that unforgettable day. She called his cell six times in a row and was toying with the idea of tracing down his phone to find out where he was when she got a short text message from him._

_'Don't worry Lisbon! I have some arrangements to make but I'll be back before you have time to miss me... See you at 8! J'_

_She repressed a relieved sigh, and smiled. She collapsed into her office chair and bent over the file she should have been working on. She would finish her paperwork, and time would fly by. That was her plan. But every now and then she caught herself wondering what the hell was Jane up to... _

_So when a soft knock sounded on her office door she glanced up with a huge smile covering her face. She didn't even try to hide her joy at seeing him, and that fact seemed to please him to no end. He crossed the distance with three long strides, and leaned down to press an affectionate kiss on her lips._

_"Mhhmm... Jane! Not in the office..." she murmured, her originally scolding tone sounding rather breathless._

_"Nobody's here dear!" he smirked, pecking her lips one more time before he pulled back. "You ready to go?" he asked with a mischievous smile._

_"Yup, just a minute!" she nodded, standing up and reaching for her jacket. He beat her to it and helped her into the jacket. She smiled and turned her head down. She absolutely loved that he was such a gentleman, it made her feel so special. "So where exactly are we going?" she asked after a second._

_"On our first date!" he told her, excitement gleaming in his blue eyes.  
"First?" she asked, her eyebrows rose. Though she couldn't help the small blush that colored her cheek. They had been together for about a week, but to be honest, they hadn't had one of those typical dates. The one with a romantic dinner in a restaurant, then a movie, then a goodnight kiss at the door. But they met outside of work a few times, and he came to her, and spent the night. "We've been on dates…" she said._

_"Yeah, I mean a date outside of your apartment…" he stated with a smirk, then added playfully "Not that I'm not perfectly satisfied with 'those' kind of dates…"_

_"We've been on dates outside too!" she said, deciding to ignore his comment despite her fluttering heart. "We've been in Big Sur!" _

_"Yeah on a case." He rolled his eyes at her._

_"You forced me to take a walk with you on the beach…" she pointed out._

_"Yes dear, the emphasis is on __**forced**__. You kept saying that you'd kill me if the guys caught up on us!" he reminded her._

_"Well, it still stands. So no kissing in the office!" she said, going for stern while she had to admit to herself she loved the thrill of it._

_"Anyways… We should go!" he said, dropping the subject and grabbing her hand. She protested with a weak yelp, pulling her hand away; but he squeezed tighter, not letting her escape. He tugged her out of her office, towards the elevator.  
Lisbon glanced around nervously every few seconds, praying that nobody was in the bullpen anymore. They made it to the elevator, and Jane grinned happily once they were inside._

_"See? Told you nobody was here…" he murmured and leaning to her he crushed his lips to hers. She moaned in surprise and responded to his kiss eagerly, sneaking her arm around his neck and pulling his body close to hers._

_When they reached the ground floor and the doors slid open Lisbon broke away from the kiss way too quickly. She peered out into the entrance hall but luckily there was no one to see their proximity. She let out a shaky breath and met Jane's smug smirk._

_"Let's go!" she suggested in a slightly annoyed tone and he just nodded, his eyes still dancing amusedly._

_He led the way to his car and opened the door for her. Lisbon decided not to criticise his car for once, and with a soft smile she got in. While she waited for him to get into the car as well, she smoothed her hand over the seat. As much as she believed that his car was crap, she had to admit the seats were so comfortable it felt like snuggling into her own couch at home._

_The drive wasn't long, less than half an hour. He asked her about her paperwork, but Lisbon was very well aware of the fact that he only did that to keep her entertained in a way. His mind was elsewhere, and after a while he stayed quiet. She didn't really mind it, the silence gave her a chance to wonder where they were going._

_When he finally stopped the car Lisbon looked out of her window with a confused expression. They were parked in an alley beside a tall building, and at the end of the street she could make out some kind of wall in the darkness. She had a strong feeling that that wall had to do something with Jane's plans, but she didn't comment._

_They got out of the car, and sure enough Jane took her hand and started walking confidently towards the wall._

_"Where are we going?" she asked Jane in a quiet voice, the sound of their steps echoing through the alley._

_"You'll see in a moment, be patient Teresa dear!" he replied with a grin. _

_They crossed the road, and she could feel the excitement rolling off of him in waves. She couldn't help the smile that spread on her lips._

_He led her to the wall just as she expected, and as they reached it she realized it was a fence of a park. He didn't stop until they got to a shadow where he paused and looked around. Then he seemed to examine the wall itself._

_"Jane...?" she asked, her voice already suspicious._

_"How much of a climber are you Lisbon?" he asked back, sliding his hand over the wall._

_"What?" she squeaked "We can't go in there Jane, the park is closed!" she crossed her arms over her chest._

_"Of course we can. I'm sorry but there aren't any holes in this wall, so we have to be really careful not to fall..." he murmured, true regret shining in his eyes._

_"Jane, I'm an officer of the law! I cannot break into parks at night!" she told him sternly._

_"Nobody will know Lisbon, and believe me you definitely want to see what's in there!" he winked and she rolled her eyes. He really wanted to go against the rules on their first official date? And what on earth could be in there anyway? _

_She seized the wall, searching for something to hold onto. Jane kneeled down, and put his hands in front of him, motioning her to step on them. She sighed but seeing his sparkling eyes she stepped on his hands._

_With a swift move he helped her up on the wall, and squatting on the narrow top she felt the pump of adrenaline running through her veins. She glanced around, balancing like a wild cat, then looked back down at Jane who was watching her with admiring eyes._

_"Do you need me to pull you up?" she teased him to cover the heat rising in her body at his loving stare. _

_"Nope, go ahead, meet you on the other side!" he grinned while shaking his head and she flicked her hair back before she pushed herself off the edge and jumped down._

_She landed with a thud and immediately stepped away from her landing spot in case Jane was jumping too. She waited until her eyes got used to the darkness all the while listening to Jane's quiet muttering, occasional cursing and the small sounds that told Lisbon that he was trying really hard to climb up the wall._

_She looked around herself and saw trees, and a little pond nearby. There was a path meandering through the park. The cooling air caused puffs of fog appear close the ground._

_She let her eyes rake over her surroundings, amazed at the pure beauty of the nature. The way the water gleamed, the soft rustle of the leaves when the wind swept across them._

_The sound of Jane's landing, and the yelp he let out made her jump. She quickly composed herself before turning to him with a wide smile._

_"This is amazing Jane!" she murmured, and chuckled as she saw him struggle to get on his feet. _

_"I knew you'd like it... But you haven't seen the half of it!" he grinned and stepped towards her to press a kiss to her temple. _

_He laced their fingers and started to pull her in the direction of the path._

_"Where are we going?" Lisbon asked, letting him drag her along._

_"You'll see in a minute!" he promised and she strained her eyes to see something between the trees and bushes. As they got closer she could make out the silhouette of a playground and she had to repress a grin. Was he taking her to a playground?_

_But Jane turned right and walked straight off the path before they arrived at the playground. Lisbon followed his eyes and when she noticed where they were headed she couldn't help a surprised gasp._

_A blanket was spread out on the grass, and a single picnic basket waited for them on it. Jane squeezed her hand gently when he heard her tiny intake of breath. He didn't slow down until they were standing right next to the blanket, there he let go of her hand and sank down onto the ground. She followed, and regarded as Jane opened the lid of the basket and started pulling things out. A thermos, two mugs, a little box with cookies. He even had a candle in there!_

_"Patrick...This is..." she said breathlessly but couldn't find the right word to describe her feelings. _

_"I know, shh..." he whispered and pulled her into his arms, his lips feathering light kisses across her cheek and hair. She shivered both from his touch and from the cool air around them and snuggled tighter into him._

_"I believe there is some hot chocolate in there!" he muttered, nodding towards the thermos.  
She eagerly reached for it and carefully poured the beverage into the mugs. It warmed her fingers up instantly and with a smile she handed one of the mugs to Jane._

_"Thank you!" he said tenderly and gave her a short kiss._

_They sat there, hugging each other and sipping hot chocolate for a while. Neither talking, only enjoying each other's presence and the silence of the empty park._

_Lisbon's eyes shifted to the playground and she watched as the swings moved slightly from the wind. She imagined children playing there, running and laughing. She let out a sigh and felt Jane turn beside her. She glanced up at his face and saw that he was looking in the direction of the playground too. His eyes had a nostalgic sparkle in them, his lips curling in a sad smile._

_"Charlotte used to love this place. She would play for hours and never get bored. Once she met a younger girl, Sadie here and they built a huge sandcastle together. She was so happy, she didn't want to go home..." he murmured and her mouth fell open. He must have seen her reaction from the corner of his eyes because he chuckled and kissed her nose affectionately._

_"Patrick" she stammered, entirely too touched to know what to say._

_"It's okay, I just wanted to share this with you..." he assured her and she felt her eyes tear up. He was sharing his dear memories with her. The memories of his family he hid in the depth of his heart._

_"Thank you!" she said finally and to express her gratitude she kissed him sweetly._

Lisbon came out of her reverie with a soft shake of her head and entered the interrogation room.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" she said and put the tea in front of the still sniffling Melanie. The girl took it with a thankful half smile- the most she could force out right then, Lisbon saw it.

"If you're ready I need to ask you a couple of questions..." Lisbon started with an apologetic look and Melanie hung her head. She waited a few moments then looked up again into Lisbon's eyes, her stare stronger and more determined.

"I'm ready! I will do anything to help catch those who did this!" she stated and Lisbon was sort of proud of the girl.

* * *

Half an hour later Lisbon walked into the bullpen to see if any of her team were around. She wanted to ask VanPelt to look into the victim's phone records, and Cho to check the street cameras around the restaurant. The room was empty though apart from a familiar blond form standing in front of the murderboard. She took a big breath and exhaled slowly before stepping next to him.

"We have a new case." Jane noted, still observing the board with photos and reports on it. Lisbon caught sight of a list that looked like phone records and she smirked to herself.

"Yep!" she nodded and reached out for the paper.

"You didn't call me..." Jane stated quietly and if she didn't know better Lisbon would have thought she heard a hint of hurt in his tone.

"Still, you're here anyways!" she murmured teasingly as she ran her eyes over the numbers and names on the paper.

"I want to see the crime scene!" Jane announced and Lisbon rolled her eyes. Of course he wanted! Well, at least he didn't interrupt her interrogation...

"Okay, let's go!" she sighed and followed him to the elevator. On the way down she pulled out her phone and called Cho.

"Hey Boss!" sounded her agent's voice.

"Cho, where are you?" she asked.

"Rigsby was hungry so we came to buy lunch. VanPelt stayed in the CBI though, she wanted to print the phone records of the vic!" he told her and as she stepped out of the elevator she nodded.

"Yeah, I found it!" she said "All right, I'm going back to the scene with Jane! When you get back please check out the security cameras in the area, ok?"

"You got it boss!" Cho said and she smiled.

"Thanks, bye!" she hung up and opened the SUV. She got in and waited until Jane settled in the car too.

"We could have something to eat after we saw the scene, don't you think Lisbon?" Jane asked and she snorted.

"Yeah sure! I don't have a job to do after all..."

**How was it? Did you like it?  
Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts! So pretty pretty please write me a few words in a review! I just… I know it's stupid and all but receiving few reviews sends me the message that you guys didn't like the chapter. So please calm my annoying nerves and write me a review. Even if you write anonymously, or just a few words…. I would be so freakin' happy…:)  
I'm in the worst kind of writers' block, but I hope to get over it in the next days. I will try to update soon, just like this chapter! Love you all! :)  
Until then, xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, here is the new chapter! Thank you all for reading and thank you for the lovely reviews on last chapter! They truly melt my heart…:) I would like to thank specially to Holobe who reviewed as a guest and I didn't get the chance to answer and say how touched I was! Thank you! :)  
Now, on to the new chapter. I really hope you will like it! And I would like to tease this much: Some important things will happen here! ;)**

**Please enjoy!**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own it…_

_Chapter 4_

"What makes you think I even consider letting you drive Jane?" Lisbon asked with a raised eyebrow and she saw something flash in his eyes. A playful determination maybe... Whatever it was, it made her stomach tighten with excitement.

"How could you say no to me my dear?" he made an innocent face, his eyes wide and round. He took a half step towards her in the elevator and she took a step back to maintain the distance.

"Easily! No!" she shrugged and smirked at him. He let an evil smile spread on his face and stepped into her personal space. Lisbon tried to back away again but she found that the wall of the elevator was right at her back. She swallowed and looked at him with huge eyes.

"And what if I take the keys from you?" he asked cheekily, and took one more step towards her, now completely crowding her. Lisbon hated him for the effect he had on her. Hated how her heart fluttered in her chest every time their eyes met, and how feeling his hot breath on her skin made her dizzy.

"Don't you dare!" she hissed, but instead of warning it sounded breathy.

"You should just give them to me Teresa..." he whispered and she shivered from the way her name rolled off his tongue.

Her eyes automatically wandered to his lips, and she bit back a gasp when one of his hands came to rest on her hip. He put the other on the wall next to her head and bent his face, leaning to her slightly.

"No!" she murmured and he laughed silently, his mouth merely centimeters from hers. And she wanted it. She craved for it so hard. It made her blood boil in her veins, even though she knew she couldn't have him. It made the ache worse. To know exactly how his lips felt against hers, his fingers tangled in her hair...

She needed to stop thinking about that. She needed to clear her mind.

She was about to push him away when suddenly with a ding the elevator doors slid open, revealing Cho and Rigsby. The agents took one look at them and grinned from ear to ear even as Lisbon pushed Jane away furiously.

"Ehm... This is not what it looks like!" she stated firmly, her cheeks burning wildly.

"Sure it isn't, boss!" Cho nodded, his face serious again, but they all heard the mocking amusement in his tone.

Lisbon huffed in annoyance and strode out of the elevator to her office.

Once inside she sank down into her chair and ran her fingers through her hair. Her mind kept replaying the fairly clear memory of how her team had found out about her and Jane...

_"No Jane! You know the rule! Not in the office..." she growled, shaking his hands off her waist._

_"Come on, technically we are not in the office yet!" he whined in her ear, and she glanced around to make sure that nobody could see them in the parking lot._

_"Patrick please…" she pleaded with him, carefully avoiding his eyes. He was way too adorable when he pouted like that. _

_In reply he only pressed a feather light kiss right under her right ear, making her heart race. She darted a few feet away from him and shot him a scolding look. But he simply grinned, completely satisfied with himself and followed her towards the elevator.  
Once inside Lisbon pressed the button for their floor and rubbed her face with her hands. Their current case was getting at her nerves. Some psychopath was constantly kidnapping children between the age of 5 and 10, then after three days of holding them as hostage killed them. They had no idea who it was, or what did he want. The only thing they knew that it was a male in his late thirties with serious childhood problems._

_"Hey, it's going to be okay! We will get him in no time!" Jane murmured and held out his arms for her invitingly. Usually she would have just shook her head, especially since they were in the CBI, but now she realized she wanted nothing more than to be enveloped by his strong arms. With a soft smile she stepped to him and snaked her own arms around him. He squeezed her tight to him and Lisbon buried her face in his chest. Jane bowed his head and pressed his nose into her hair, breathing her in. _

_"Teresa?" he murmured and she pulled away to look up at him. He had a tender look in his eyes and a gentle, reassuring smile on his face. "It's all right! You don't always have to be tough. I'm here to catch you, to protect you when you feel like you can't take it anymore… You hear me? I'm here!" he told her sincerely and Lisbon felt tears in her eyes. She cupped his left cheek and went on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly. He replied to the kiss lovingly, just the barely there slide of his tongue across her lip.  
"Thank you!" She moaned and tugged him closer to her with her arm around his shoulder. Jane chuckled and walked her back towards the wall. As soon as she felt herself pinned between him and the wall, she couldn't help the shoot of desire through her veins.  
She deepened the kiss and Jane was only too eager to assist. He put his hand on her hip, brushed his fingers under her shirt making her jump and gasp. She fisted her hands in his blond curls and sucked in a breath when Jane's mouth moved to her neck._

_She arched her back to give him more access when she got dragged out of this heated haze by the jolt of the elevator. Before she had the time to compose herself the doors slid open and she tried to untangle herself from his embrace. He groaned disapprovingly and clutched to her waist but Lisbon swatted his arm and made him open his eyes.  
Only then did she turn her eyes away from him to the exit of the elevator. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest when she caught sight of all three of her agents, gaping at them from the bullpen. She squeezed her eyes shut and repressed a curse._

_"Oops…" Jane muttered sheepishly when he realized that they had been seen and he instantly took a step back from her. Lisbon looked back at him and was surprised to find his face truly afraid and guilty. She thought this was his game. Make her loose control until somebody found out about them. It was a nice surprise to see that he cared. He cared because it mattered to her. That little discovery made her fall for him even harder._

_"Yeah" she agreed, but made no move to leave the elevator. She glanced back out at her agents, VanPelt grinning madly and Rigsby with his hand at his mouth, giving Jane a discreet thumbs-up. Cho had an amused sparkle in his eyes, but Lisbon had a feeling that he already suspected that Jane and her were together._

_Lisbon sighed and before stepping out of the elevator she turned back to Jane with a smile forming on her face. She leaned into him and breathed a kiss on his lips then turned on her heels and walked into the bullpen, leaving a slightly shocked Jane behind her. _

_"So, did you find anything on the latest victim?" she asked her agents, putting on her serious, bossy tone. All three of them noticed the change, and understood immediately that they weren't talking about what had just happened. Cho nodded and started to tell her everything. Lisbon saw from the corner of her eye when Jane joined them, a soft smile gracing his features, his thoughts clearly somewhere else. _

Lisbon exhaled slowly and straightened in her seat. She needed to focus on the job. Thinking about Jane and the relationship they had wasn't helping her at all. Even if she still couldn't get over it. She wasn't sure she could ever get over him. This fact made her heart heavier.  
Lisbon swallowed hard and reached out for her pen. She had to distract herself.  
Just when she was about to start her report a sound of shuffling made her look up.

Jane was entering her office, a cup of tea in one hand and an open folder in the other.

He didn't even look up, only sauntered to her couch and plopped down on it. He settled into the cushions comfortably and sipped his tea while reading the file. Lisbon silently watched as he made himself at home, never even acknowledging her there. After a few moments he hummed and put his cup on the table, then started to pull photos out of the folder.

"What are you doing, Jane?" she asked finally and he turned to her with a brilliant smile on his face.

"Solving the case my dear!" he shrugged and went back to his pictures.

Lisbon watched him for a couple of more minutes then shaking her head she continued to do her paperwork, deciding that it was better that he did this here, where she could keep an eye on him.

* * *

An hour later a firm knock on her door made her look up. A man in his early thirties with dark, spiky hair and a charming smile was waiting for her permission to enter and she nodded, repressing her smirk because she was so used to Jane barging in anytime without knocking that this stranger's knock actually surprised her. He stepped inside, casting a glance at the napping form of Jane on her couch and Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Can I help you?" she asked politely and the man walked right to her desk and extended his hand.

"I'm Detective Derek Morrison, SacPD." he introduced himself, his eyes boring into hers. Lisbon could see from the corner of her eye as Jane shifted on the couch, his interest giving away his act of sleeping.

"Agent Teresa Lisbon, it's nice to meet you!" she shook his hand and returned his friendly smile. Then she raised her eyebrow in an unsaid question, referring to her previous enquiry.

"Yes, I was sent here to ask for the case files of the murder of Scott Long." he said confidently.

"No offense, but can I ask why?" Lisbon pushed her chair away from her desk and stood up.

"There has been a break-in at his apartment that our team investigates and I hoped we could co-operate with your unit Agent Lisbon." Morrison told her.

"I don't understand, how is it possible that it wasn't my team who got the break-in case...?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"I believe it was because the burglary department of SacPD automatically gets the report of a break-in. Your team investigates the murder, mine the burglary." he explained and Lisbon saw that Jane was hanging on their every word, probably already making up a new theory.

"All right, let me get one of my agents copy it for you. Until then, please take a seat and tell me about the break-in..." she said, motioning for a chair in front of her desk.

"Of course!" he nodded and flashed her a bright smile.

"Right..." Lisbon only moved after a few moments of delay caused by the interested stare of Detective Morrison. She let out an embarrassed little chuckle and hurried off in the direction of the bullpen. "Hey Grace?" she called out and the redhead turned towards her. "There is a detective from SacPD here, they are going to consult on this case and he would like to get the case files. Could you please make copies of it?"

"Yeah, sure!" VanPelt nodded and Lisbon went back to her office.

She saw Morrison talking to Jane who obviously 'woke up' as soon as she stepped out of the room.

"You know, I think the killer might have broke into the victim's apartment." Jane said to the other man while Lisbon walked in.

"Yes, you could be right..." Morrison answered but stopped mid sentence when he noticed that Lisbon was back to smile at her warmly. "Ah, Agent Lisbon! Mr. Jane was just telling me about his insights on the case!"

"He did?" she rounded her desk and sat down with a soft smirk on her lips.

"Yes, however Mr. Jane, I think your theory may be a little too convenient..." the detective continued, turning to Jane and Lisbon had to put her hand in front of her mouth to cover her grin. She glanced at Jane and saw amusement mixed with surprise on his face.

"You think so, Detective?" he asked and Morrison nodded without a clue. Jane was obviously going to make him pay for underestimating his theory, but he had no idea about it. Lisbon was already sorry for the guy, but she was having way too much fun to stop Jane.

"Yes, I think whoever killed him wouldn't be so stupid to break into his flat." Morrison reasoned, and Lisbon had to give him credit, he was right to some extent. But she learned long ago that Jane was always right. Or almost always.

"Well then, who do you think it was? Do you think it was just a random break-in?" Jane questioned.

"Maybe, maybe someone else from his life. What do you think Agent Lisbon?" Morrison turned to her and she pursed her lips while thinking for a moment.

"I don't know." She murmured. "I guess you both could be right!" she decided and the moment she said it she saw Jane's smug grin.

"What? You mean the killer could have accidentally broken into the victim's apartment?" he asked in an incredulous tone, his eyes laughing at her.

"You know that's not what I meant!" she shot him an angry glare. "Anyways, Detective Morrison…" she said, turning her full attention to the man sitting in front of her desk. "I believe that file will be ready in any minute now and our team will gladly help your investigation as long as you also keep us informed!" she told him with a smile.

"That would be fantastic!" Morrison nodded and just on cue VanPelt entered her office with said documents in her hand.

"Grace, the man is Detective Morrison from SacPD, he investigates the break-in to Scott Long's flat. Detective Morrison, this is Agent Grace VanPelt." She introduced the two to each other and they shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you!" the man said kindly and VanPelt nodded in agreement and handed him the files. Then, without any other words the redhead left the office and Lisbon saw her form approaching her desk. "All right, I should get going too…" Morrison sighed and folded the papers in his hand in two. He stood up and awkwardly paused, looking at the door then glancing at her.  
Lisbon saw that in the background Jane exited her office without saying anything. She furrowed her brows, quite confused by his unusual actions.

"I-uh… I… Thank you for your help and… everything…" Morrison muttered, and Lisbon looked back at him. She didn't even notice the way he was half turned towards her door, but still there, watching her shyly.

"Of course, you're welcome!" she nodded and stood up too. He nodded with an awkward smile and turned to the door. He was almost out of her office when he spun back and looked at her. As she met Morrison's eyes she saw a strange determination in them.

"Agent Lisbon? Would you… uh… like to have a coffee with me sometime?" he asked, a shade of red coloring his face as he tried to avoid looking at her.

"A coffee?" she asks back, rather taken aback by the unexpected question. Her mind went blank as she tried to think it over. As seconds passed by she realized Morrison was still there, now looking at her with an expression which was a mix of defeated and hopeful. "Right, yes! It would be lovely!" she finally managed to say and when the man's face lit up she felt her brain start working again. Yeah, coffee. It won't hurt anybody, and Morrison was quite good looking after all.

"Fantastic! I'll… I'll call you then! Bye!" he waved with a grin, looking more like his confident self again. He turned and headed in the direction of the elevator.

Lisbon scraped her forehead and swayed her head slightly. Then she stepped back to her chair and sat down with a soft sigh. However, a thought at the back of her mind kept gnawing at her. The faint image of Jane's face, one eyebrow perfectly arched, his eyes glinting in a bewildered and somehow challenged way.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and shooed the thought away, getting back to her work before she would start to ponder about it, and probably overthink everything.

* * *

Jane was waiting. Saying that he was waiting patiently would be a big fat lie because he was constantly looking in the direction of her office door and tapping his foot on the floor. It bothered Grace, he could see but he couldn't stop. Morrison or what was his name finally emerged from Lisbon's office, a satisfied (more like smug, Jane thought) grin was hiding on his face. He marched to the elevator and left.

Jane slowly counted to one hundred then stood up and dragging his steps as slowly as he could, he made his way to Lisbon's door. He stopped in the doorway to regard her for a minute even though he wanted to storm inside and ask. Not even ask, demand!

She was sitting at her desk, bending over a file and he couldn't help but think how she really deserved a holiday. But he knew better, Teresa Lisbon was never taking days off! He learned that long ago.

She seemed quite distracted though. She was twirling one strand of her wavy dark hair around her index finger in an absolutely adorable, yet extremely un-Lisbon-like manner.

"So he did ask." he spoke, tearing her out of her thoughts. Her head snapped up and she blinked at him in puzzlement.

"Excuse me?" she asked, clearly expecting him to elaborate.

"The detective. I thought he wouldn't ask you out, wouldn't have the courage you know... But it seems like he did manage to man up!" he said and couldn't hide his distaste for the other man.

"It's none of your business!" she told him sternly.

"It is if I care..." he shrugged and stepped closer to her desk. He really didn't know what hit him, but he didn't want to see Lisbon with this guy.

"Well, you shouldn't..." Lisbon tried to ignore him.

"Lisbon, he's not the right guy for you!" he said desperately and she raised her eyes to shoot him a questioning look. "He's arrogant and way too confident..." Lisbon snorted but he kept going "...he just showed up here, and thinks he is so clever, and he..."

"And it bothers you that he's interested in me." she interrupted him knowingly.

"Yes!" he agreed loudly before realizing what he said. As soon as he did though, Jane looked away from Lisbon and rubbed his face with one hand.

This wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be cool and tease her about this detective until she felt bad about going out with him. Nope, he didn't want her to feel bad. He just wanted her to think Morrison was a loser. He wasn't supposed to act like a jealous boyfriend since he wasn't her boyfriend. Anymore. However he couldn't help it, he didn't want to see her with any other man.

It was absolutely childish and selfish, Jane knew it with his brain. But his guts and his heart told him otherwise. And for once he wasn't able to ignore it.

"Jane..." Lisbon murmured and when he turned his eyes back to hers he saw her look. Her sad eyes said 'You had your chance!' and he swallowed.

"I know." he nodded helplessly. "I just..." he didn't finish the sentence, afraid of what would come out of his mouth. Instead he tried to tell her it all with his eyes.

"I know." she said reassuringly and he believed her.

With a deep sigh he turned to leave, his thoughts heavy as he stepped out of the office.

"Lisbon?" he called, leaning back through the doorway.

"Hmm?" she looked at him again.

"Will you still go out with him?" he asked, trying really hard to cover his desperation with playfulness.

Lisbon only scowled at him and threw her pen in his direction.

Jane jumped out of its way and strolled towards his couch in the bullpen.

"I take that it's a yes..." he muttered to himself before laying down comfortably into the cushions.

Jane let his eyes slide closed and he listened to the quiet noises of the bullpen.

He knew he couldn't stand the thought of Lisbon being with Morrison. He wanted to believe that it was because of the detective but really it was just that he didn't want to see her with another man. He was still in a confused haze about what he wanted and what he was capable of sacrificing. But he knew one thing for sure, he had very serious and very strong feelings for Lisbon.

He remembered the last time a guy was hitting on her. They were about to celebrate their two month anniversary when a case came in, much to Jane's disappointment. The guy was a local fireman and he was flirting shamelessly with Lisbon. She tried to ignore him and politely refuse every time the fireman asked her out but it was pissing Jane off. It lit the burning fire of jealousy in him and in the end he got himself punched by the man. Though it was totally worth it...

_"Are you out of your mind?" Lisbon asked while she was searching for ice in the fridge. "Why the hell did you do it?"_

_Jane who was holding a tissue to his bleeding nose let out a disbelieving huff._

_"Why the hell? Lisbon, he was openly playing with you... He was one step away from kissing you right there!"_

_"You know I can take care of myself. And besides, it wasn't that bad." she said and with a pack of ice she came closer. She pushed his hand away from his nose and gently put the ice on his face. Despite how careful she was, he hissed._

_"You are my girlfriend, and he was way too pushy..." he murmured and closed his eyes at the cool feeling._

_"Jane that's sweet, but you can't get yourself punched every time you're jealous!" she chuckled softly._

_"I was not jealous. I was protective!" he stated and she grinned._

_"Sure you weren't!" _

_She pulled the ice away from his nose and leaned in to examine the nasty bruise on it. _

_She reached out and with her fingertips she touched the swollen surface. _

_"You're lucky it's not broken." she said with worry in her tone._

_The next moment Jane's hands were cradling her face and he pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. It was heated, rough and most of all possessive. His hand slid to her back and he tugged Lisbon towards himself until their bodies were flush, their noses touching. He ignored the pain in his hurt nose and nuzzled her cheek as she pulled back. She tried to step back a little but he didn't let go of her. She laughed as he pushed his mouth on hers once more._

_"Not jealous at all, right?" she teased slightly breathlessly while he peppered sweet kisses on her cheek and neck._

_"Hmmm...not at all!" he growled into her ear and finally pulled back._

Jane wished he could do that again. Tell her just how jealous he was in a kiss. To have the right to be jealous in the first place. He wouldn't even mind getting punched if she would take care of him and he would be allowed to kiss her.

But he couldn't. Because he was stupid enough to break up with her.

**So, what do you think? Did you like it?  
All thoughts would be appreciated! :) Also, if you would like, you could tell me what parts of their relationship you would like to read about in flashbacks…  
Thank you so much for reading, and I would love to get some reviews from you guys! Every single word you write makes my day better! :)  
I will try to update as soon as possible!  
Until then, xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everybody! I'm extremely sorry for the late update, I swear I was going to update yesterday but I simply forgot it… Seriously, I haven't got a better excuse! I hope you will forgive me though! :)  
Thank you all for reading and I can't even tell you how happy I was to hear your opinions! I tried to answer every review and I would also like to thank those of you who left an anonymus review! Thank you all, you are my heroes! :)  
Now, here is the new chapter, and ****_RavenClaw01 _****here is what you asked for! ;) I really hope you all will like it even though it's kind of angsty! **

_Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine!_

_Chapter 5_

Lisbon got home late that night. She was exhausted and needed nothing more than a hot bath. She was still quite angry about Jane sticking his nose into her private life. It wasn't his business anymore, so why did he care?

It bothered her that going out with Morrison felt like a wrong idea. And she knew it was because of Jane. Because a part of her heart still belonged to him. Maybe it always will...

While she prepared her bath in autopilot mode she shifted back to the months old memory she couldn't quite get out of her head 'til this day. The night he ended their relationship.

_It was a beautiful day and Lisbon got home in a surprisingly cheerful mood. For the time of being she forgot all about the weird way Jane started to act those last days. He was a bit distant and fell into his old, melancholic self a lot. That day he seemed fine anyways. He even tried to have his wicked way with her in the office in the morning.  
She checked her clock and saw that she still had a half an hour until he would arrive to her apartment. She stepped to the fridge and after a swift survey of the contents she decided to whomp some spaghetti up.  
Lisbon worked quickly and as she mixed up all the ingredients she wondered if Jane would agree to spend Thanksgiving with her and her brothers. He probably would since she didn't know he would have anyone else to spend it with. She wasn't even sure he celebrated Thanksgiving. After all, however sad it was, he didn't have many things to give thanks for. She smiled at the thought of him with her brothers and their family. The four men would probably take turns to try and embarrass her with their stories. She was just draining pasta when she heard the three knocks on her door. They were really silent and almost shy. As much as she tried to dismiss it, the sound of them caused a sinister feeling rise in her._

_"It's open!" she called and heard the opening of the front door. "Jane? I'm in the kitchen!" she said when after a moment she didn't hear any movement._

_"Something smells delicious!" he said as he approached the kitchen counter. When he reached her he pressed a soft kiss to her temple, but by the time she turned to capture his lips with hers he passed by her and sat down at the table. _

_"Everything's fine?" she asked when she noticed his slightly troubled expression. He looked at her and Lisbon could see a mask cover his face as he smiled and nodded._

_"Yeah, I was just taking a walk." He murmured and fidgeted with a napkin on the table. _

_"That's great! It was beautifully sunny today!" she smiled and turned off the stove. "All right, dinner is almost ready…" she told him and furrowed her eyebrows when he seemed too immersed in his thoughts to notice her. She regarded his face and a nervous knot started to form in the pit of her stomach. "Patrick? Is everything okay?" she questioned and she stepped closer to him. He turned his face towards her and she caught the look of utter inability and anguish in his eyes. "What's wrong? Tell me…" she prompted him as she squatted down beside him. _

_His lips curled into a gentle, but oh so blue smile. He reached out and caressed her cheek with his fingers. He was careful, his touch light as air. He cast down his eye and muttered something she couldn't understand. "What was that?" she asked and leaned closer._

_"I'm so sorry…" he whispered and at last looked up at her again, straight into her eyes. _

_"For what Patrick?" she questioned, fearful of what was to come. His hands found hers and squeezed weakly before he dropped them and sighed._

_"I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'm really so sorry for not being able to be the man you deserve." he murmured and his tone was hoarse, his pained words cutting into her like knives. She didn't understand his meaning yet, but she knew it wouldn't end well._

_"What do you mean? You are all I need!" she assured him and tried to ease it all with a smile. It didn't help much, only got a little sigh full of self-hatred._

_"I can't go on like this anymore." he muttered and her heart sank. It couldn't be what it sounded like. It couldn't!, she tried to calm herself down. "I thought I could get over it. I thought I could start over. I thought I had the chance to do it with you. But I don't deserve it. And I certainly don't deserve you..." he turned his face away again and Lisbon fought hard to keep herself together in spite of feeling her whole world collapse around her. _

_He was breaking it off. Them._

_"Patrick" she breathed, unable to keep her voice strong._

_"I'm so sorry Lisbon. I just... It's like when __**he **__died." he said, carefully avoiding Red John's name. That wound was still too fresh. "I don't feel the change. Nothing has changed! I still feel empty and hollow..."_

_Lisbon shut her eyes closed as his words hit her like an iron fist. Her tears were stinging her eyes but she didn't want to cry in front of him. She pulled away from him but he reached after her and stopped her by the wrist._

_"No, I don't mean it like that. Teresa..." he said her name so softly, so full of love that she wanted to cry. How could he say it like that when he didn't even feel that way? How could he lie to her when he knew her true feelings? Jane searched for her eyes and after a few moments she gave up and got lost in his crystal blue stare. "I believe you misunderstood my words. By saying nothing has changed I mean that my feelings for you haven't changed either. I still care for you. So much." he said and to punctuate his words he softly stroked her palm with his thumb. "But I can't get over them. They haunt my dreams, my thoughts. And so does he... When I'm with you, it's better. But I'm not there yet. I can not lead you on anymore. I can't expect you to wait until something happens. Because maybe nothing will happen, maybe I'm just simply too broken to be fixed."_

_"Jane please..." she begged him to stop. She wanted him to take it all back and just hold her tightly in his arms. Kiss her and make it go away._

_"I'm so sorry Lisbon. I never meant to hurt you. I can't tell you how much I hate myself for it. For my weakness. I should have stayed away from you in the first place." he swayed his head and she felt like his last words were the final punch. She couldn't take anymore. _

_Lisbon, not caring that he was still there, sat down on the floor and slid back until her back hit the kitchen counter. She curled up, pulling her knees to her chest and she lowered her face into her arms. She let her tears run free and she shook with silent sobs._

_"I'm so sorry..." she heard Jane's crushed whisper then felt his barely there kiss on the top of her head. The gesture made her cry even more violently but she held it back until she heard the closing of her front door._

_Then all hell broke loose..._

* * *

_She didn't know how much time passed. She didn't know when her tears stopped flowing. She didn't know when her pain started to overtake her whole body and simply spread in her until she was one heap of ache.  
She felt raw and sore._

_She was alone. So completely alone._

_When it got totally dark around her she collected enough willpower to get up from the ground. Her legs were feeble and trembling, her head dizzy and her face damp, her throat dry.  
Lisbon wiped her icy fingers across her cheeks as she stumbled to the sink and bent down to splash some water on her face. She also gulped down a mouthful of water to moisten her mouth and throat. It didn't help much._

_He was gone. He ended it all.  
She didn't know what to do.  
She grew to depend on him -on them- so much over the past six months that she didn't see anything but darkness without him.  
Her eyes found the dish she had made for them before it all turned horribly wrong. With a kind of angry motion she grabbed the handle of the pot and shoved it into the fridge, swallowing her new tears.  
She wouldn't cry one more tear because of him! She wouldn't…_

_Lisbon made her way slowly, cautiously to her couch and fell down into the pillows. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep in her bed that night. And for the following some… Her whole bed smelled like him._

_She rolled onto her side, facing the back of the couch and she hugged herself. One more tear trickled down on the side of her face, disappearing between her hair and the cushions. _

_Before Lisbon slipped into troublous, restless dreams she begged for forgetting. She seriously didn't know how she would face the next day…_

Of course she didn't forget. But she could face the next day. And the after that. She met Jane, she looked him in the eye and saw the endless misery and guilt in them. She did her best to avoid him, and he made it easy for her. He stayed silent, and acted normal for a few days.  
That weekend Lisbon changed the sheets on her bed and by Sunday she managed to lay in it without crying. She went to church and prayed for Jane. She prayed so that he could find his peace. That he would be able to move on, to get by in his life.

She put on a mask every day, she acted tough and switched into cop-mode throughout the day. But at night, she often found herself crying at old memories or waking up from a nightmare drenched in sweat and calling for him. But he wasn't there...

There was no huge fight. No stupid, meaningless arguments. Somehow they always left their problems at work and they were totally in sync.

So when Lisbon got into her bathtub she felt like the hot water was burning her heart and soul. Even though it had been months ago, just thinking about that night still hurt her. They managed to work side by side, and they never mentioned it again. Never talked about 'them'.

Jane got back to his old self and Lisbon was constantly saving his ass again. Just like good ol' days.

And even though they didn't say a word neither of them could really get those months out of their heads.

After her bath Lisbon crawled into bed. She knew she had to wake up early tomorrow but she couldn't sleep.

Suddenly the screen of her cell lit up and she reached for it, wishing with her every thought that it wouldn't be Cho with a new lead that they had to pursue at night. Or Jane with his attempts to convince her not to go out with Morrison...

She sighed in half relief, half amusement when she saw that the incoming message came from said police detective. It didn't say much:

_'Tomorrow afternoon, 5 o'clock? Morrison' _

Lisbon allowed herself a little smile as she pushed the answer button and typed in her agreement.

When she put her phone back on her nightstand she sighed and rolled on her back. She stared up at the ceiling, not able to get rid of the lingering thought of Jane. Was he in bed already? Could he be thinking about her?  
She fell asleep with her lazily twirling thoughts and ended up dreaming about Jane and Morrison.

* * *

Meanwhile at the CBI headquarters Jane was sitting on his makeshift bed in the attic, regarding the city from the window. He didn't bother to switch on the lights, so he was surrounded with darkness. He couldn't sleep and his mind kept taking him back to Lisbon. To the day he ended things because he was convinced it would be better for her that way. How he regretted that now… How he wished it could be easy.

_That night he almost gave up. He almost did something horrible and probably hurt himself or others. Seeing her so broken, innocent like a little bird crushed him to pieces. He was the cause of that. And she didn't understand why he did it.  
She couldn't see that he only did that because he would have eventually hurt her. He wanted to figure things out first.  
He cared for her more than his own life. He wanted her to be happy. But he couldn't be with her, and raise false hopes in her while he still felt like he was __**theirs**__. Red John's. Angela and Charlotte's.  
Jane was aware of the fact that his late wife and child will always be there in his heart, but until he felt like a stone he couldn't be with Lisbon. He couldn't risk losing her again.  
He snorted at the irony of the situation. While Red John was alive he couldn't admit his feelings for Lisbon because he was too afraid of her physical well being. Now that his nemesis was dead, Jane had to worry about Lisbon's heart getting hurt.  
He truly believed that when Red John would be out of the picture he would feel ecstatic, overjoyed, triumphant and most of all free from the chains of his past. But just like he told Lisbon the night Red John was killed, he felt nothing. No change.  
He tried to repress it. Ignore it. He started a relationship with Lisbon, and he was happy as ever, but he still wasn't free. His ghosts started to come back more frequently, and recently he felt that the cold pang inside still hadn't changed._

_He wandered around, walking the streets surrounding her apartment. He knew he couldn't go back, but he couldn't go away either. An invisible power pulled him back towards her, forcing him to stay close. Maybe to make sure that she would be all right..._

_Once he was too tired to walk he sat on the stairs leading to her door and bent his head into his hands._

_No matter how it pained him to hurt her, deep down he felt that it was the right thing to do. They couldn't go on like that forever, and Lisbon deserved better._

_He just hoped he could stay away from her. And he wished with all he had that one day she will be able to forgive him. That one day he will be able to move on, and maybe just maybe she would be there._

"Shit!" Jane hissed into the darkness. It was all so messed up and he was in the middle, not knowing what to do.

He was too selfish to let her go. But he wasn't ready yet, was he?

He didn't feel any better or worse. He was still a wreck. He didn't change any. And on top of it all, now he started acting jealous.

He stood up and began to pace. There wasn't really much room up there, but it was just enough to get the energy out of his system before he did something utterly stupid.

For a moment it crossed his mind that he could easily trick her into not going out with Morrison. He could make her change her mind. But he instantly chased the thoughts away, deciding that Lisbon would be rather angry. And he would never forgive himself for hurting her more.

No, he had to wait. He had to work things out, for once clear up the mess he made.

And anyway, this Morrison thing was probably just one date, it wouldn't last long!

**And that was it! What do you think guys?  
I would love to hear your thoughts, so please write a review! Even if it's short, even if it's just a few words… Every single one of your words make my day better! ;)  
I truly hope you liked it!  
Thank you all for reading, and I would love to read your words! :)  
I will try to update as soon as possible!  
Until then, xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys, thank you all for the feedback on last chapter, I was really happy that you liked it! :)  
Here is the new chapter I really hope you will like it!  
Also, sorry for any mistakes, I tried to check it a couple of times but I can't be 100% percent sure it's error-free…:)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters…_

_Chapter 6_

Lisbon rushed out of the elevator in a flourish. Her hair was messy and her cheeks were red and she tried not to concentrate on the fact that she was half an hour late. This hasn't happened since she went out with Jane. Back then it was sort of usual because it was his favorite morning habit to, well... to distract her.

She made a quick round in the bullpen, grateful for her agents when none of them commented on her late arrival or her disheveled look.

Then she hurried to the kitchen to have a coffee before she started her day. She made her way into the room and stepped straight to the espresso machine. She put her stack of papers on the counter beside herself and sighed.

"Wow Lisbon, after the third date, huh? So you are kind of old school in this..." she heard the playful voice of Patrick Jane behind her back. She spun on her heels and faced him with a shocked look.

"Excuse me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. She had a pretty good idea what he was talking about but she dared him to say it into her face.

"Come on Lisbon... Flushed cheeks, crumpled blouse and you're late. We both now what that means..." he said in his usual, observing tone.

"Jane, it's none of your business!" she hissed and grabbed her mug of fresh coffee. Now she desperately needed it.

"You're not even denying it..." he hummed in an amused tone. "Interesting"

She stormed out of the kitchen without saying anything. She heard his disapproving 'hey' but didn't slow down, only once she was in the safety of her office.

Yes she had slept with Morrison. Yes it was their third date. But how did Jane know? And why did he care?

She threw her stuff on the desk and ran her fingers through her hair.

Her heart was racing and she felt an uncomfortable clench in her gut.

She thought back on last night and she knew what the problem was.

Derek was a wonderful guy that was revealed on the first date. And she wanted to give him a chance, she really did. He was charming, witty, and good looking. On their second date he took her to the movies and made her laugh with his jokes during the otherwise rather boring film. Then he walked her to her door and without any rush gave her a soft goodnight kiss, and left.

She liked him. But that wasn't the reason why she had slept with him. She knew it was wrong but the main reason as to why she had sex with him was because she wanted to erase Jane. She wanted to get his kisses and touches out of her system. Get rid of his memory altogether, even if only for a few hours. And she wished it would have worked. She wished she didn't imagine Patrick Jane kissing her passionately, his hands embracing her and making sweet love to her.

Lisbon hoped that she just needed time to get used to Derek. She was willing to give it time. Not that it was so bad... She was actually having fun with him, enjoying herself despite the fact that Jane always stayed in the back of her mind. So she would give this a chance and ignore the painful flutter of her heart every time Patrick Jane showed interest in her personal life. That made it all so much more difficult. To see that he was interested. She didn't know why when it was him who ended their relationship. He shouldn't care. And she shouldn't care that he cares...

* * *

"Hey guys, do you think Boss is serious about... You know Detective Morrison?" Grace asked her fellow agents silently. Cho turned his head to her with a doubtful expression and Rigsby grinned while shrugging. She searched for the blond consultant with her eyes to hear his opinion too, but she found him with his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. Though the barely noticeable frown on his face gave him away, Grace knew he was awake.

"Jane, what do you think?" she asked directly from him. However, he didn't answer her, instead he made a low moaning sound and turned his back to her and the rest of the bullpen.

VanPelt sighed, but left him alone. She looked back at Cho and Rigsby who were waiting curiously for Jane's thoughts as well. They exchanged a meaningful look, all three totally aware of the fact that Jane was most likely jealous as hell. They didn't really know what happened between their boss and Jane but none of them dared to ask.

"Well, I think she looks happy..." she said with a girlish smile, getting back to her work on her computer.

"Oh yeah, she was practically glowing this morning!" Risgby agreed.

"I think we shouldn't discuss her private life in the office. Or anywhere else for that matter..." Cho said calmly and VanPelt felt herself blush. Cho was right, it was none of their business and Lisbon would think the same. Sometimes she just couldn't help herself. Maybe she could simply ask Lisbon, she may feel like talking with a friend.

She jumped in her seat a little when Jane let out a short but loud snore, breaking the comfortable silence that fell on them. She looked at him and shook her head.

Meanwhile Jane was trying not to be too obvious as he listened to the agents. He wanted to know what they thought about Morrison, but asking would have been too suspicious. When Cho played the 'it's none of our business' card he couldn't repress a snort because a,that was exactly what Lisbon said to him and b,he knew just how much Cho cared for Lisbon. He knew it from experience and even though the agent made him pretty uncomfortable back then, he was grateful that the man was looking after Lisbon as well. Of course Cho didn't have the same feelings for Lisbon as Jane had, his feelings were more like a brother's concern than love but Jane realized just how strong the bond between the agent and Lisbon was when Cho had pulled him over to have a talk with him.

_It was a day after the team caught them making out in the elevator. Jane was making tea in the kitchen, planning how to convince Lisbon to go to the beach on the weekend. He knew she needed to relax but also knew that there was no way she was going to make his job easy and admit it. _

_When his beverage was ready he turned to go back to his couch and noticed Cho in the doorway, his arms across his chest, looking at him sternly._

_"Hello Cho!" he nodded with a bright smile, but he knew that his charms never worked on the stoic agent. "What can I help you with?" he asked._

_"I would like to talk to you about Lisbon." Cho said, straight to the point. Jane smirked, not at all surprised. He had been expecting to receive a preach ever since yesterday._

_"Well then, I'm listening." he put his teacup down and looked at Cho almost challengingly._

_The agent stepped closer and scowled at him, clearly not very impressed with his light attitude._

_"If you hurt her, I'll hurt you twice as much!" he told Jane in a quiet, rough, threatening tone. _

_He resisted the urge to laugh and mocking his posture leaned to Cho._

_"I won't!" he said "I will do my best to be the man she deserves and believe me Cho my friend, I would do anything to protect her. So I will try as hard as I can not to hurt her." _

_Cho eyed him suspiciously and Jane couldn't decide whether he was grateful that somebody was looking after Lisbon or found it ridiculous that Cho threatened him._

_"You better!" he muttered then without further words left the kitchen._

_Jane took his tea in his hand and hurried after him. He was a few steps behind Cho when the agent entered the bullpen and Jane could see the other two team members turning their head towards Cho._

_The asian man shrugged and strolled to his desk while Jane walked to his couch, pretending like nothing had happened. He felt VanPelt's eyes on himself and he looked at her with the most innocent expression he could muster. She shot him a warning eyebrow-rise then got back to her work. _

_Jane was just settling down, squirming on the sofa until it enveloped his back perfectly when Risgby stood up and went by him. As he was just next to Jane he stopped and turned his upper body to the blond consultant._

_"Hey Jane, seriously, don't hurt her!" he said, almost whispering then left the bullpen._

_Jane took a sip of his tea, swirling the liquid in his mouth and he pondered how much her little team loved Lisbon. He couldn't even ask for better guardian angels for her..._

He never told Lisbon about this. And somehow Cho never shot him.

Jane turned on his back and tried to clear his mind, let his troubled thoughts slip away. As he drifted into a light sleep he decided that he would finally do like he promised to Cho and do his best to protect Lisbon. From himself. Because he was no good for her. He would stay away from her and let her be happy with Morrison. Even if it broke his heart.

* * *

They got a new case later that day. The victim was a young woman who was found on the riverside. Jane only took one glance at her and stated that she was a call girl.

"How can you tell?" Lisbon asked skeptically and rolled her eyes.

"Look at her Lisbon! She's got prostitution written all over her…" he told her and stepped next to her. He was standing so close to her that Lisbon could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"She's pretty and she's wearing a short skirt. Her nails are manicured, and she is wearing a lot of make up! But that's all, that doesn't mean that she was selling her body..." Lisbon shook her head.

"Her heels look fancy but they were probably rather cheap. Her perfume is way to ostentatious. She's got a package of condoms in her purse..." he motioned towards the victim's open bag not too far, the contents of it lay on the ground. "And she's not wearing any underwear..." he added but didn't look at Lisbon as he said it.

"What...?" she asked and as she took a step closer to the woman's legs she instantly saw that Jane was right. No panties. "All right... Uhm, Cho?" she called out for her agent who was having a conversation with an officer nearby.

"Yeah?" he turned to her when he heard his name.

"Do we have an ID?" she asked, but he immediately shook his head.

"No. No ID, no credit cards, no driving license... Seems like whoever did this took her identifications." he shrugged and opened his notebook. "However, a witness saw a blue van drive away at around five thirty, said it was in a rush." he reported.

"Thanks, let's get surveillance tapes and look for that van. See if we can find the owner!" she ordered and with a nod Cho headed to the SUV.

"Hey Boss, the ME said that the woman's clothes were wet, but they are almost sure that cause of death isn't drowning." Rigsby said from behind her and Lisbon turned to him.

"Right, get this poor girl to the morgue and I want to know if she had been engaged in any kind of sexual activity in the last day." she said, earning a smirk from Jane. As much as she wanted to smack him she resisted and just shot him a warning look. "Jane and I will head back to the office and browse through missing people's lists... Maybe someone misses her already!" she announced and started to walk back to her car. She was standing next to her door when she noticed that Jane wasn't at her side. He was staring at the river with a pondering expression, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Jane!" Lisbon exclaimed and he finally looked at her with surprised and curious eyes. "You coming?" she asked and he glanced back at the water one more time before he got a move on and jogged to his side of the car.

They got inside, and once they left the busy crime scene and the soft sound of the engine shut out all the noises Lisbon felt Jane's eyes on herself. She refused to take her eyes off the road but her cheeks were practically stinging from his stare. If she wasn't mistaken he opened his mouth to speak twice, but changed his mind and closed it again. Then finally after seemingly endless moments he turned his head away and regarded the houses and gardens they were flying by.

"I'm sorry about earlier. It really isn't my business. If you're happy, then I'm happy..." he murmured when the silence was starting to become suffocating. Lisbon gripped the wheel harder, but still kept her gaze at the street in front of her.

"Thanks." she managed to say. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't anywhere near happy, that she missed him crazily. But she couldn't. Because he didn't want her, he broke up with her, she wasn't what he needed. And Teresa Lisbon wouldn't force anybody to be with her, especially not because of pity for her.

No, she could act like a big girl. And she would get used to Morrison- Derek, she corrected herself. She had to stop calling him by his last name. It was possible she could even fall in love with him.

So she stayed quiet and pursed her lips together for the rest of the trip.

* * *

Lisbon straightened her back and rolled her head from side to side. She still had a pile of reports to look through and she had already drank three coffees in the last hour. Her eyes were tired, her headache making it even more unbearable.

She sent the others home a few hours ago, not long after they got back from the crime scene. She hadn't got a clue where Jane was, but she still felt weird because of his sudden apology.

When the knock at her office door interrupted her thoughts she slightly jumped in surprise. It was way too late for anybody to be there except for the janitor and maybe Jane. And while one wouldn't have the reason to come to her office in this late hour, the other wouldn't bother to knock.

She turned her head to the door and her lips curled into an automatic smile.

"Derek! Hey, what brings you here?" she greeted him and with a wave of her hand invited him inside.

"Hi! Well, I was at home, sitting on my couch, staring at the Tv and I realised that I missed you." he admitted as he wandered closer to her desk. Lisbon felt her cheeks go red and she fiddled nervously with a piece of paper. "Am I bothering you?" he asked shyly and she looked at him at last.

"No. Please take a seat!" she smiled widely at him and expected him to sit down into one of the chairs in front of her desk but with two long strides he rounded her desk and stopped beside her.

He leaned down and cupping her cheek with his right hand he pressed a sweet kiss to her lips.

"Thanks." he murmured then without a word he went back to the other side of the table and sat down. Then he watched her as she shook herself out of her bewilderment and got back to her work.

He never said a word while she was reading. Sometimes Lisbon had doubts that he was even there but when she glanced up she found him right there, looking at her with patient, brown eyes. They shared a small smile then and Lisbon always had the strong urge to leave the reports and just go home with him. But he never pressured, never even asked her to put off her work for him.

He waited until she was finished and only when she put the last page down and lifted her eyes to him did he speak.

"Ready?" he questioned in a gentle, understanding tone. Lisbon realized that he probably knew what her work meant to her and also that she needed to get these things done. That was where his patience came from, he understood her.

"Yeah, for today." she nodded and stood up. She let him help her coat on and when he held her hand tentatively on their way to the elevator she squeezed his reassuringly.

Yes, this could work after all.

**So, this was it…. I would absolutely love to hear your opinion about it guys, so pretty please don't be shy and leave me a few words in a review!  
Now, I'm in a serious writers' block that seems to have no end… Also we got to the part of the year when every single teacher thinks their own subject is the most important one and that we students have no other desire than to write as many exams as we possibly can before the Christmas break… So, yeah… I've been kind of busy and didn't have time to write. I just hope that said Christmas break will be efficient for this story!  
Anyway, I would be grateful to read some inspiring words from you, please tell me your thoughts! I would really appreciate some cheering up… Or just some feedback that I'm doing good… Or bad. What do you think? :)  
I will try to update this story between Christmas and New Year's Eve, however, I would like to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas in advance! You guys are certainly the best!  
Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)  
Until next time, xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! I promised an update between Christmas and New Year's Eve and I wanted to keep that promise so even though tomorrow is New Year's Eve it's practically still between the two days… so… I hope you will forgive me for the late update. I'm just so freakin' behind with this story and I didn't want to upload until I have at least the next chapter ready, and it's almost ready so I decided I would update. Okay, enough of the stupid rambling, I'm sorry! :)  
Anyway, thank you guys for the feedback on last chapter! I'm always thrilled to hear your thoughts, just so you know your reviews are like oxygen for my writing! Love you all! :)  
This chapter is a bit longer than usual (Yay for me! :) ) and I really really hope you will like it! **

_Disclaimer: I don't own The mentalist…_

_Chapter 7_

Lisbon woke to the amazing smell of bacon. She lifted her head to look around in Derek's bedroom, but he was nowhere to be seen. She smiled softly and pulled the dark blue covers around herself as she sat up.

His side of the bed was cold and she was sure she heard low humming coming from the kitchen.

After checking her phone she got out of the bed and on her way to the bathroom she picked her underwear and shirt off the floor.

She quickly brushed her teeth then wandered back into the bedroom only in her shirt and panties. Just as she sat back on the bed Derek appeared in the door with a tray in his hand.

"Good morning!" he said with a bright smile as he approached.

"Morning!" she murmured and caught sight of two steaming mugs of coffee and some delicious looking eggs. She made space for him and Derek sat beside her, kissing her good morning as he put the tray in her lap.

The whole scenario brought a memory to Lisbon's mind. A memory more painful than she had expected it to be.

_She woke to an empty bed and her head was dizzy. She reached out for Jane, but he wasn't there and as she peeked out from under her eyelids she saw that the shutters had been closed on the window of her bedroom. She was still so exhausted she couldn't keep her eyes open.  
Last night they got home after a case that took all their time for the past week and she barely had time to sleep. She had no clue how she even got home because when they finally closed the case she was walking around the bullpen like a zombie. Jane probably took her home somehow. She didn't want to think about the fact that he might have had to carry her in his arms. Although, it was warming her heart to know that he would do such thing…_

_She sat up in her bed and rubbed her face with her hands. She felt like she had been awakened from a week long sleep, not knowing what day and what time it was. She silently chuckled to herself as she thought that princesses in fairytales did probably feel like this after waking up from a curse. _

_She searched for her phone on the nightstand and thanked God when she saw that they didn't have a new case. _

_Really slowly she got out of bed, but after the warmness of the covers her room felt freezing. She shivered and decided to take the blanket with herself. Wrapping it around her shoulders she stumbled towards the door and a smile escaped her when she got to the kitchen and saw Jane there. He heard her approach and turned to her with a dazzling smile._

_Lisbon shuffled to one of the chairs and collapsed on it with a sigh. Jane was immediately at her side with a cup of fresh coffee in his hand. As he set it in front of her he leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple sweetly._

_"Good morning beautiful!" he murmured affecionately._

_She took a sip of the coffee, the warm liquid caressing her throat, making a comfortable tingle run through her. She leaned into Jane who stood next to her and let her head rest on his stomach._

_"Mhhh... I love you so much!" she murmured silently into his shirt without even realising what she had said. _

_After a second though, it occured to her and her half closed eyes opened in shock. She had never admitted this to him before and judging from the way his stroking hand stopped its motion on her hair, he knew it too._

_She carefully pulled away from him and blinked up at his face shyly. She was afraid what he would do next, since neither of them declared their love for each other out loud until then. She feared that she would scare him away, she feared that he woud shut her out. _

_She didn't regret saying the words, no matter how unexpected they were. They were true and came from her heart._

_His face became serious and his blue eyes found hers. For a moment they stared into each other's eyes then without warning Jane leaned down and kissed her. His lips were timid at first but when she slid her fingers into his curls and kissed him back with full force he got gentle and desperate at the same time. His tongue invaded her mouth and tortured her deliciously. A moan escaped her and she felt her heart race._

_When Jane finally pulled back he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed a few more light, lingering kisses on her lips._

_"I love you too, my dear!" he whispered and Lisbon felt something wet on her cheek. As she opened her eyes she saw a couple of teardrops on his beautiful face but before she could start worrying she saw that he was smiling. His crystal blue eyes were sparkling at her and he cradled her face into his palms tenderly._

_"I love you" he repeated and kissed her again._

_I love you..._

_I love you._

I love you.

Those three words were still echoing in her head when she felt Derek's hand on her arm.

"Hey, you all right?" he asked with a concerned face.

"Yeah, sure!" she forced out a smile and reached for one of the mugs. The coffee tasted somewhat bitter and she put it back on the tray.

Thinking about Jane wasn't going to help her. She needed to get over him, and with him always on her mind it wouldn't work.

Lisbon looked at Derek who still had that cute little wrinkle under his eye caused by confusion and she pushed the tray off her lap then turned to him. She circled his neck with her arms and brought him in for a heated kiss that made them both breathless.

"Oh, wow! If this is the price I will make you breakfast every day!" he laughed after she finally pulled away.  
Lisbon grinned at him while she run her fingers through his hair and reached for the plate.

"Let's see the breakfast first!" she winked and started eating.

* * *

VanPelt stepped out of the building to the little café that was on the roof of the CBI. She looked around and saw her boss at a table, absorbed in the view. The wind played with her brown hair and she sipped a cup of coffee with a peaceful smile.

Grace approached her after buying herself a soda and sat down into the chair across Lisbon.

"Hey Boss, what's up?" she asked and Lisbon turned her eyes to her.

"Just enjoying the panorama..." she shurgged.

"Is everything all right? You know, with you and Jane. And now with Detective Morrison..." VanPelt asked sheepishly, remembering the conversation with the boys the other day.

"Yeah, it's just... He's Jane." Lisbon rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink.

"I think he's only trying to take care of you!" Grace attempted to protect the consultant. After all she knew how much Jane loved Lisbon. Even if they weren't together anymore.

"Well, I can take care of myself and he should mind his own business." Lisbon said stubbornly and VanPelt smirked when she heard it. It was like a mantra, like a motto for Lisbon, she always said that. But Grace also knew how great it was to have someone look after you.

"And what about Morrison?" she asked, unable to repress her curiosity.

"He's really nice." Lisbon let a small smile spread on her face then noticed her agent's expectant look and sighed. "He's a total gentleman and he's absolutely smart and funny. If only Jane didn't act like a stupid five-year-old I would be so glad, I swear he sometimes drives me crazy with his jealousy. I mean, he thinks I'm his favourite toy or what..." she added, getting a little annoyed at the end.

"Maybe he's still..." Grace started but the ringing of Lisbon's phone interrupted her sentence.

"I'm sorry." Lisbon smiled at her apologetically before answering. "Lisbon!"

She listened for a minute and nodded a few times then muttered a 'thanks Cho' and hung up. "We have to go, they found something!" she told Grace who simply grabbed her mug and followed her back to the bullpen.

"What do we have?" Lisbon asked the small group that gathered in the room when she stormed in.

"We put an APB on the van that left the scene and we got a hit ten minutes ago. Also, Rigsby checked her bank accounts and saw that she was getting weekly money usually from different people.

"I'm telling you she was a prostitute!" Jane called from his seat on VanPelt's desk.

"Great, care to also tell me who killed her?" Lisbon asked sarcastically, still eyeing the murder board with the pictures from the crime scene.

"That, I don't know yet. But are you up for a little vice work, my dear?" Jane questioned and he strolled next to her.

"What? Why would I do that?" she scowled at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"To solve the case of course!" he shrugged with a smirk.

"Jane, we don't know if she was a call girl." she stated causing him to roll his eyes.

"I know you don't believe me, that is what we will try to prove on the streets. That she was..."

"You said call girl, don't they work in some sort of system? They have those agencies, I don't think you will find anyone that knew her on a corner..." Rigsby chimed in.

"Oh believe me Rigsby, they will know about her! She wasn't always a call girl, I suspect she started on the streets as well!" Jane explained as if he was an expert on the subject.

"And why do I need to play a hooker for this?" Lisbon asked raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think they would talk to a cop so easily, not after the girl was killed." he pointed out. "So, now would anybody be so nice and run down to Vice to borrow a dress for Agent Lisbon?" he looked around and a young officer signaled that she will go and get an outfit. "Terrific! Thank you!" he exclaimed then turned on his heels and started towards the kitchen.

Lisbon glanced around and saw everybody staring at her.

"Go back to work!" she said and with a deep sigh she hurried after Jane.

She caught up with him in the kitchen as he was opening cabinets, searching keenly for something.

"Don't think you can get off the hook so easily!" she snapped at him huffily. He turned to her with a bright grin, holding a pack of green tea in his hand. "Wipe that smile off your face! Why do **I **have to do this stuff? Why can't someone else do it?" she demanded with her hands on her hips.

"Who else? Cho? Rigsby? Me?" he joked but her icy glare made him take a step back. "Okay, you have to do it because I have other plans for VanPelt." He said and walked towards her. "Besides…" he reached her and lowered his head to murmur in her ear. "..I want to see you in a dress!"

Then without any further words he left her standing alone, completely shocked in the doorway.

Lisbon gaped at the empty room, rooted to the spot, still fuming over the fact that she had to play a prostitute just because Jane made some story up. She was about to go after him and tell him that there is no way she would stand out on s street to prove his idiot theory when the officer from earlier stepped into the kitchen and with a polite smile handed her a folded black dress.

Lisbon unfolded it and when she saw the length and the style of the dress she forgot her anger about Jane's plan for a moment and her heart stopped in horror.

"JANE!"

* * *

"Come on Lisbon! I bet it's not that bad, just let me in…" Jane tried to reason with her from the other side of her office door. Somehow he managed to convince her not to kill him right away when she saw the dress, and even got her to try it on. But now as Lisbon was standing in front of the small mirror they got her from the ladies' room she just wanted to disappear.

"No, Jane! I'm not wearing this thing!" she shook her head, and moved to take it off. Jane could say what he wanted but she wasn't going to stand on the street in this gear.

"At least let me see it!" he pleaded with her and panic rose in her. No, he couldn't come in because if he did he would try to convince her that it wasn't so bad. And Lisbon knew that Jane would find a way to convince her.

"No!" she protested, but it was too late. He had already opened the door and slipped inside so that nobody else could get a glimpse at her. "Jane, I told you to stay outside!" she growled at him angrily, spinning on her heel to face him.

"Wow, you would make a pretty attractive hooker, my dear!" he observed her and Lisbon did everything she could not to flush under his intense gaze.

"Jane! That's not helping at all!" she pursed her lips in a pout and crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Look, you have to have an outfit like this if you want to fit into the group!" he said with a shrug and she chuckled.

"Jane, I don't want to fit into the group… it was your stupid idea in the first place!" she stated.

"Please Lisbon! Just trust me with this! You need proof and you are going to get it! And I have a guess this little trip will be helpful in more ways…" Jane said sincerely, searching her eyes. Lisbon made the mistake of looking into his blue orbs and she was lost.  
His eyes always did it. They made her lose all her resistance.

"Fine." she rolled her eyes.

That evening Lisbon sat in next to Jane in his Citroën, her stomach twisting and turning, the tissue in her jacket pocket ruined because of her nervous fidgeting. Jane stopped the car a few corners from their destination and she had to walk from there. He wished her good luck with a cheeky grin and she wanted to slap him.

Lisbon got out of the car and almost lost her balance in the stilettos she was wearing. She tried to tug the edge of her dress down as she threw her jacket back on the seat. Then shutting the car door she took a huge calming breath and turned towards the street that led her to Sacramento's most depraved quarter. The red light streets. The illegal bars with poker games and women of all kinds. Vicious dealers and band violence everywhere.

Not an unknown part of the city for cops. Still Lisbon would have liked to skip a visit dressed as a prostitute. Although, she had a gun and Jane promised her he would be at her side in a minute if there was any complication she didn't feel comfortable walking on the street at this time of night, at this part of the city.

Jane insisted that she couldn't have any back up because that would be suspicious which made Cho quite unnerved but Lisbon didn't really mind that the guys weren't there to see her like that.

Strangers stared at her, women with pitying expressions and men with unhidden interest and lust on their faces as she passed by. She held her head high and ignored all the looks, trying to act like a real hooker.

"Hey darling!" a man yelled after her from the door of a club but she didn't stop. She had her eyes on the part of the street a few blocks away where a couple of women were already parading in shiny, tiny, skinny skirts and dresses like the pavement was a catwalk.

Lisbon regarded them, watched how they swayed their hips and threw their hair everywhere. How they flirted with every man who walked by, touching and kissing and giggling. Suddenly she felt like throwing up, she couldn't do this! She wasn't a prostitute. How will she be able to let any man touch her like that without punching them in the face. Or kicking in the groin.

Her eyes found a young, blond girl who was caressing a man's shoulder with her index finger while his hand was under her skirt... Oh, God she definitely won't let anyone here touch her like _that!_

She slowed down in her tracks when one of the women on the other side of the street noticed her. Their eyes met and Lisbon noticed the hostile look the woman gave her.

She kept on walking confidently, feeling other eyes on herself as well. She was new here and they all knew it. She had to make them believe her unless she wouldn't get anything out of them.

She clutched her purse in her hand and crossed the street with the most high-minded face she could muster up. She strolled along the street, watching every one of the women there from the corner of her eye, making sure that they saw her sizing them up. Then she stopped at the curb and flicked a strand of hair behind her shoulder, mimicking their earlier movements.

A car flew by, honking loudly and she had to stop herself from jumping. She turned her back on the prostitutes and scanned the street.

A minute later she felt the eyes of a brunette on herself. She decided it was time to make the first step so she looked at her and let a tiny smile escape her lips. It wasn't so hard since the brunette seemed quite nice. The woman stepped next to Lisbon and regarded the bars on the other side of the street.

"You're new here..." her silent murmur sounded.

"Yeah, usually I work in clubs." she shrugged and spotted Jane's car parked a couple of blocks down the road. "I'm Cassandra!" she said instantly, turning away from the street.

"I'm Vicky!" the brunette smiled and when a car passed them she posed invitingly. Lisbon tried to do it after her and she put her hands on her hips.

"And why aren't you with the others?" Lisbon asked, nodding towards the women.

"I can't stand Betty!" Vicky shook her head, gazing at the young blonde that Lisbon noticed before. They were all over each other now. "Especially now since Ruby died..." Vicky muttered under her breath but Lisbon heard it.

"Who's Ruby?" She tried to hide her excitement, but her voice hitched as she asked.

"Oh you haven't heard? She was one of us, found yesterday on the riverside..." Vicky said and Lisbon felt her blood race. Jane was right, the victim was a prostitute.

"And why did..." she started her question but the noise coming from the entrance of a club nearby cut her off. They both looked there and saw a bunch of drunk men exit the place, yelling and singing and laughing loudly.

They saw the women and started towards them with amused shouts.

"Look guys, god gave us another little surprise!" one of them exclaimed then all of them broke into laughter.

"Hmm hey honey!" the leading man reached one of the hookers and hugged her by the waist. The woman leaned into him easily, opening her mouth, waiting for his kiss.

Lisbon shuddered in disgust and didn't even notice the man approaching her until he had his hand on her hip. Or more correctly on her ass.

"Hello there!" the man murmured into her face, his breath smelling like alcohol.

"Hi" she forced out through gritted teeth. She tried to lean as far away from him as possible but he pulled her back with a hand on her back.

"Where are you going sweetheart? I think we should play a little..." he laughed and Lisbon held her breath so that she didn't have to smell the alcohol.

"Let me go..." she growled, so quietly that only he could hear it.

"Why would I? I want you, and I'll have you, you freakin' bitch!" he told her and fear tightened Lisbon's chest.

"Take your hand off of me!" she ordered with as much confidence as she could.

His hand pressed at her back and suddenly she was even closer to him than before. She used her hands to push him away but he was stronger than she imagined. Much stronger than her.

"You don't want me? What kind of a stupid hooker are you?" he asked her angrily and he bowed his head to hers. "Well you will let me have you anyway..." he murmured lustfully and his eyes traveled to her mouth. He licked his lips and as he moved towards her she closed her eyes and prepared for the worse.

His lips attacked hers violently. It was almost painful and Lisbon fought with him but he had a firm grip on her. She had no choice. Her head was dizzy and she was sure she would either throw up any minute or faint. Maybe both...

His aggressive tongue invaded her mouth and his hands started towards the edge of her short dress when she heard a distant yelling through the horrible haze in her mind.

"Hey!"

**And this was it! What do you think? I hope you liked it and I'd absolutely love to hear what you think about it, so please please write me a few words! Your reviews make my days brighter! :)  
Thank you for reading and reviewing!  
I'd like to wish everyone a Happy and Fortunate New Year and I hope all your wishes will come true! :)  
I can't really promise anything about next chapter, only that I will try to update soon! :)  
Until then, xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, I've had a lot going on these days and I didn't want to update until at least some of the next chapter is ready… But here it is now, I hope you will like it!  
Also, thank you so much for all the feedback on last chapter! Your reviews and alerts make me so happy! And I would like to say thank you to those of you who left an anonymus review, even though I couldn't reply to you, I hope you know your words are dearly appreciated! :)  
Now, onto the new chapter!**

**Oh, and it might have a K plus plus or a T rating, depends on how serious you take these things… But I hope you will find it enjoyable anyway! :)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own The mentalist or the characters…_

_Chapter 8_

For a moment the man continued to ravish her, not caring about the shouts that sounded closer every time.

Then suddenly it was all over and when Lisbon opened her eyes she saw Jane right beside them, his hand clutching the drunk man's shirt, holding him away from her.

"Leave her alone! She's mine!" he growled menacingly, his blue eyes dark and dangerous. Lisbon felt a shiver run through her but this time it was followed by a maddening warm wave of desire. Jane was wearing a denim jacket and black jeans, his hair was tousled, standing in all directions. She was certain she had never been so happy to see him, but as she looked at him she realized they were in trouble.

She had no gun on her since Jane told her it would be suspicious and the drunk man was taller and stronger than Jane. That meant that he was going to get a hell of a beating. Then probably her too...

"What the...?" the man blinked, completely taken aback by the sudden change of events, then he looked back at her. "You better let me go blondie, or you will find it hard to even have sex again!" he threatened.

Jane instead of letting the man go stepped closer and fisted his right hand.

"Oh yeah? I think you better go now before I beat the crap out of you..." Jane murmured and Lisbon cursed his big mouth.

The man laughed loudly then caught Jane's wrist with his hand and squeezed until he let the man's shirt go. Lisbon prayed for a miracle as the man took a step back and prepared to hit Jane. But then suddenly Jane's fist came up and with a strength she didn't know he had, he punched the man in the nose. He fell to the ground, holding his face, groaning in pain. When he pulled his hand away his whole face was bloody and as Lisbon glanced at him she guessed his nose broke.

"Now get lost!" Jane spat at him, and rubbed his fist with his other hand.

Only then did he look at Lisbon and she felt her blood race in her veins from the fire in his stare. Then he crossed the distance between them and pulling her into his arms he walked them backwards until her back hit the wall of the building next to them.

"Jane?" she murmured questioningly, her mind a confused mess. His body was pressing into hers and his face was way too close and she didn't know what he was playing at.

"Shh... Just go with it. Play your part, Cassandra!" he whispered into her ear and she didn't even have time to think it through when his lips were on hers.

She sucked in a surprised breath and he used it to push his tongue into her mouth. He was passionate and dominating yet gentle at the same time. Lisbon knew he only made this show for the other hookers and the drunk men still lingering there, but his kiss completely made her forget where and who she was.

In that instant, she didn't know they broke up, she didn't remember all those nights she cried herself to sleep. She couldn't care less about Derek and all she was capable of was clinging to Jane as tightly as she could.

She let him devour her for a minute then kissed him back, driving her hands up his broad chest and into his golden hair. When his tongue slipped against hers she let out a sensual moan and arched her back to press into his body.

He pulled his mouth away from her lips to kiss along her jaw and down the side of her neck and her blood boiled in her veins.

"This doesn't mean anything..." she murmured quietly and a bit angrily when his lips weren't on hers anymore and she could think straighter. She had to make sure he didn't think it did but with her face hidden in his shoulder and her nails dug into his back so he would be closer to her it was quite misunderstandable. He squeezed her waist stronger and her clear thoughts seemed to float away again.

"I know!" he growled and continued to nibble her skin. When his tongue darted out and he licked the spot behind her ear she let her head fall back and she slowly slid her right leg up and circled it around his thigh.

His hands left her waist and while one of them came to rest on her lower back, pushing her more flat against him the other found its way to the exposed skin of her thigh and smoothed over the edge of her dress.

"Oh God!" she gasped and was about to grip his hair harder when she suddenly became aware of the cold wall at her back. The damp air around them, the multiple pair of eyes staring at them. She slowly untangled herself from Jane, a slight smirk escaping her when she heard his protesting grunt. "Let's go someplace more intimate..." she purred, making sure that the other prostitutes heard it too.

"All right!" Jane nodded, his voice hoarse. Then he sneaked an arm around her small waist and started towards his car. "Ladies!" he waved to the hookers and Lisbon looked back to smile at Vicky.

They almost ran to his car and as Jane helped her get inside they didn't look into each other's eye. Lisbon's blood was still rushing through her system crazily and she saw that Jane had a hard time catching his breath too.

When his door was closed too she turned to him and decided to break the silence.

"How's your hand?" she asked, looking at his right hand. There was an ugly red bruise on it that must have been killing him but he took it as a man and didn't whine.

"It's fine, thanks." he swallowed and started the engine. As they drove off Lisbon took another look on the street, regarding the prostitutes who just got some company again.

She reached for her jacket and put it on, zipping it up to her neck.

"You were right, she was a prostitute." she muttered and Jane chuckled.

"Yeah, did you get anything else out of them?" he asked as they took a left turn and Lisbon realized he was taking her home.

"No, those drunk idiots showed up before Vicky could tell me more..." she sighed.

"Vicky? Seriously Lisbon, you made friends with a hooker?" Jane laughed and looked at her incredulously.

"I did not. I just had to fit in, to use your words. She seemed nice and anyway, I had to make sure that our vic was one of them somehow!" Lisbon defended herself but Jane kept grinning and swaying his head which made her blush. "Oh, bite me!" she smacked his arm and turned her face away from him.

A few minutes passed by and looking out the window Lisbon saw that they were almost at her house. She took a big breath and laced her fingers together.

"Hey Jane?" she started quietly and waited for his hum to continue. "Thanks for, you know, coming to my rescue!" she said, never looking up from her lap.

"You're welcome. I was your only back up, I couldn't let him hurt you. I shouldn't have let him get that near you..." he growled darkly, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"You did a great job!" she smiled at him reassuringly, then tried to joke to lighten up the mood. "I had to maintain an image after all..."

The car stopped in front of her building and Lisbon was about to ask Jane if he wanted to come up for a tea, then she remembered their situation. Nope, she couldn't invite him up, or to stay the night since they weren't together anymore. They were just beginning to rebuild their friendship. It was all fragile and foggy and elementary.

She ran a hand through her hair and unbuckled her seatbelt. Their eyes met and she saw that he had the same thoughts as her. Or maybe not quite the same because he was Patrick Jane. Nobody knew what went on in that mysterious head of his. Lisbon's glance shifted to his lips, still red and swollen from their pretend make out session on the street. She moved forward to give him a kiss on the cheek as a way of saying good night but her cell phone interrupted the moment. She fished it out of her jacket pocket and saw Derek's name appear under a text message sign. The cozy bubble that she was in broke by seeing his name. It brought her back to harsh reality and the fact that whatever happened between her and Jane that day was truly meaningless. He didn't love her, not the way she loved him. The pain which that statement brought with itself never stopped hurting her, she only wished it would fade with time. She stared at the device for another moment, just cleaning all the remaining feelings for Jane out of her system before turning her green eyes up to look at him.

The streetlamp lighted his face, gave his cheek an angelic glow, his eyes an innocent sparkle that warmed her heart but she ignored it. Friends, that's what she would settle for. That's what her goal was.

"Thank you for the ride, Jane!" she said, proud of herself for her strong voice. She managed to crack a smile before she got out of the car and ran up to her apartment. From the door she looked back and waved at him then she stepped inside and closed the door.

* * *

Jane drove much faster than he should have. He was actually probing the speed limit of his beloved old car but he couldn't slow down. His thoughts were running which wasn't the best thing either when he was quickly approaching 65 miles per hour.

He couldn't stop thinking about Lisbon. Her eyes, her hair, her legs, her smell. Her sweet smile, her soft voice that could bring him out of his misery any time. He needed her more than his next breath. He loved her more than he thought he would ever be able to love.

And yet he hurt her so badly that he wasn't sure she could ever really forgive him. All because he couldn't get rid of his damn past.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them immediately when he realized he was still speeding on the highway, going God knows where exactly.

He couldn't blame all his problems on his past. His past was Angela and Charlotte. They were his everything. He didn't ever want to get rid of them. He just wanted the guilt and pain decrease. He wanted to be able to love Lisbon without wondering what Angela would think. He wanted to be able to look at a small girl without thinking it could be Charlotte, if only he wasn't so much of an idiot and didn't offend Red John.

Lisbon always made him feel better about these things. She always told him reassuring nothings that had no other purpose than to ease his pain away. They were like tender caresses to his broken heart.

Jane needed that, needed her. And he could tell himself it was all right to still love his family. Hell, even she could tell him it was okay. But he knew perfectly it was unfair to her. It was cowardice not to let himself love her wholly. He was afraid something would happen to Lisbon and he would break. And then there wouldn't be anybody to collect the pieces. He would stay miserable and aching.

It was not okay to be hanging onto Angela and Charlotte. To use them as an excuse for being an ass. He had to learn to let them go, to get used to their absence.

He had to do it for Lisbon. Because she deserved the best he could be. She deserved to be loved fully and with a whole heart. She deserved his entire heart and soul, not the part he could spare for her. She shouldn't have to share his heart with Angela and Charlotte and get so little of it.

Jane knew that he would always love his family. That they would always have a special place in his heart. And he knew that Lisbon knew that too. What she didn't know was that she was just as important for him as they were. Angela and Charlotte were his past, but Lisbon was his present and he had to focus on the present.

Jane left the highway behind himself and finally found the willpower to slow the car. His thoughts started to clear out and he could breathe more easily. He knew what he will have to do and that was better than the messy hole he had been since he broke up with Lisbon.

He looked through the windshield and actually saw where he was for the first time since he left Lisbon's neighborhood. More accurately, he realized he had no idea where he was and as he checked a street sign he had to find out that he drove way more than he planned. He was out of Sacramento and driving around in the suburbs. He pulled over to stretch his legs out and walk a few circles around his car then he got back in and turned back.

It was getting darker and darker and by the time he got back to his motel it was already 11 pm. His plan had to wait one more night. And until then, he would sort all of the remaining questions out, so that next day he could have a fresh start with light and calm thoughts and ready plans for every outcome that tomorrow would bring. Just like the Patrick Jane that Lisbon knew.

Before he went to bed he stood under the shower for half an hour, just allowing himself to get lost in the memories of kissing Lisbon that afternoon. The way she pressed her slim body into his, the sound that left her mouth as he kissed her neck. It all made him think about their first undercover kiss.

It had happened years before they got together, but Jane could never forget the day their lips met for the first time. It was completely different from their kiss on the street, it was almost accidental. But it was as sweet as he could imagine. He didn't appreciate it enough at the time, but later he realized just how much of a life changing point it was in their journey. Which just made it all the more special for him…

_Lisbon sauntered closer with a soft smile on her face. Jane was sure he had never seen her so relaxed and he was rather surprised to see the serious Agent Lisbon being such a good actress._

_He looked around in the golf club where they were meeting one of their victim's business partners. They were playing Mr. and Mrs. Miller, friends of the victim George Johnson also really interested in buying some share of the well known Butler Microbiologic Company. From who else than the very owner of the firm and the friend of the victim Mr. Randall Butler, head suspect. _

_Jane looked his boss up and down, amused at the sigh of her in a tennis outfit. Her skirt was way too short for a CBI agent and her tight top was making every man in the room turn towards her. Yes, Teresa Lisbon could look quite feminine and attractive if she tried. Not that she really tried now, because if was kind of a costume that she had to wear. For the same reason was he clad in a pair of white trousers and an awful cotton t-shirt with a checked flat cap. _

_"Lisbon, you look delightful!" he complemented her truthfully but only got an annoyed eye roll as a reply. "Our eagle is in the nest!" he winked at her, nodding his head in the direction of the restaurant of the club._

_"Good, now you know what we have to do so please don't come up with anything stupid, all right?" she told him and he put on his best innocent face. She snorted and tugging down the edge of her skirt she started towards the restaurant._

_"Hey wait!" he caught up with her and grabbed her arm. She spun around with questioning eyes, her death stare burning a hole in his fingers where he was still clutching her elbow. "Sorry, but don't forget we are supposed to be married and hopelessly in love." He told her a little theatrically. She sighed and pursed her lips, clearly not even a bit impressed with the idea. "Okay, at least let me hold your hand or something…" he suggested and after a resigned chuckle she held out her hand for him. "Thank you Mrs. Miller, you know how important this case is to Minelli…" he murmured into her ear before pulling her to the door._

_They made small talk while searching for a vacant table, holding hands and shooting love eyeballs at each other on their way to sit down. _

_"I'm going to get ourselves something to drink!" he told her quietly when he pulled her chair out and she was about to say something when he added "I know, alcohol free because you're on duty…" he whispered and to Lisbon's great horror he pressed a gentle kiss to her temple._

_While he was away Lisbon scanned the room for their suspect and spotted him talking to a young brunette not so far away from their table. He was sitting with his bar, facing just towards her. She waited until the brunette was gone then she watched him intently, hoping to make him feel her stare. Luckily she didn't have to wait too long until he looked up and saw her eyes on himself. Then she stood up and with confident steps she walked to his table._

_"Hi, are you Mr. Butler?" she asked in her most friendly tone and when he nodded with a grin she knew she succeeded. "I'm Julie Miller and my friend George used to talk about you a lot…" she told him then looked down, seemingly taking a moment to mourn her dear friend. _

_"Hello, any friend of George is a friend of mine. Please take a seat!" he answered charmingly and motioned her to take the chair across him. "And feel free to call me Randall!" he added. "And what had George told you about me?" he asked._

_"Just that you own a huge company that has a big future…" she smiled at him and wondered if flirting with him would help her. Maybe, but she didn't get to find that out because Jane appeared in that moment, putting a glass of lemonade in front of her and sitting down into the chair beside her._

_"Sweetheart, I thought you got lost!" he told her with a masterly made up expression of concern. "I was glad to see that you're just abducted by this gentleman!" he smiled at Butler teasingly and held out his hand. "I'm Robert Miller, her husband…" he introduced himself then put an arm around her waist._

_"I'm Randall Butler and I wouldn't call it abduction at all, your lovely wife came over to me to talk a little about our shared friend George." The man shook his hand firmly, but his eyes remained unsuspecting and friendly._

_"Oh poor Georgie… May he rest in peace!" Jane said sadly then took a drink of his own ice tea. _

_"Randall, you were just about to tell me why your company had such a big future!" Lisbon decided to get the control of the conversation back._

_"We do microbiological experiments in order to develop alternative uses of the presents of out nature." he said and Jane grinned at how diplomatic that sounded. It didn't tell anything about the work they did there. It only sounded like a slogan._

_"Wow, that sounds interesting..." Lisbon chirped in fake awe and he had to resist smirking._

_"Would you like me to show you around in the laboratories?" Butler offered and even though the question was for both of them, his eyes never left Lisbon._

_Jane felt a wave of jealousy mixed with a hurt ego that caused him to lean close to Lisbon and breathe his question into her skin. _

_"What do you say dear, do we have time for that?" he asked and felt Lisbon go rigid under his touch. He ran his hand up her thigh as a message for her to relax a bit and she only hesitated a second before she turned her head to him so they were nose to nose and with a bright smile she nodded._

_"Yes, I think I'd love to see it!" she murmured as their noses brushed._

_"As you wish!" he whispered, then from a sudden idea he lifted his hand, cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers._

_She froze and he could feel the inner battle as her instincts urged her to slap him but her mind reminded her that they were on an undercover mission and she had to restrain herself. It was only a second before she melted into him and to his astonishment she gently kissed him back. It wasn't more than a soft press of their lips together, a slight dance their parted lips did without any tongue but it was totally unfamiliar and new. She tasted like vanilla and freshness. _

_Then it was over in a flash. She pulled back and when he opened his eyes he saw the lovely blush that colored her cheeks as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Their eyes met and she turned her gaze away quickly, self-consciously. But in those few moments he saw the sparkling in her green eyes, the surprise mixed with pleasure and he suddenly felt proud to be the cause of those emotions in her, to be the one who made her eyes glisten like that. He gave her a tender smile and subtly without looking at her while doing so he reached for her hand under the table and gave it a small squeeze._

Jane laughed softly at the memory. He rubbed his hand over his face and tried to allow the hot water wash away the stress of the day. He knew he didn't have a lot to smile about nowadays but he was grateful to have those memories that would always warm his heart. They would get him through the rough night until the morning came and he could see Lisbon at work. And that solution had to be good enough for him until he finally made up for the stupid things he did and earned her forgiveness to have her at his side all the time to brighten up his days.

**So, this was it! What do you think? I can not wait to hear your opinion so please write me a review! Your words are the light of my days! ;)  
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I promise I will hurry with next chapter, and I can also promise an update at the very last a week from now, unless something horrible happens! :)  
Until then, xxx**

**PS.: If there are any Castle fans out there, I started a Castle fanfiction with the title A Dangerous Game… If you are interested, you can find it on my profile! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys, here is the new chapter! Thank you all for reading the last one and a HUGE thanks goes out to everyone who took their sweet time to write me a few words in a review! :)  
I really hope you will like this chapter too! It's mostly from Jane's POV but there is also a little Lisbon in it at the end! ;)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own this amazing show…_

_Chapter 9_

The next morning Jane got out of his bed with a determined mind. He quickly got dressed and was out of his room before the clock struck 8.

He jogged to his car, feeling fresh, frisky and calm. Finally for the first time in weeks he knew exactly what he was going to do to reach his goal. Which was of course to win Lisbon's heart back. However, to get to that point in his plan he had some things to take care of first.

He got into his car and as his mind already worked on the next step he drove off, his movements automatic. He knew the way by heart and he allowed his thoughts to run free.  
He knew that what he was about to do should have been done months ago. Probably years ago, but for a while it didn't even occur to him. To be absolutely honest with himself, he had to admit that he only started to figure it out a little after he broke up with Lisbon. But he wasn't ready to do it just yet. It was a too big step to take for him and he had to suffer from the feeling of losing her to realize that sooner or later he had to do it anyways. If he wanted to be able to live his life normally, he had to lock his past up and concentrate on living in the present and appreciating what he had now. What life gave him…

He parked his car on the side of the road and got out. The sun was shining brightly and as he crossed the street he shaded his eyes to see better.

The cemetery was empty apart from an old man strolling absent mindedly. Jane entered and took a right turn, his eyes fixed on the two graves he was heading to. His heart was thumping in his throat and he fisted his hand nervously in the pocket of his jacket.

When he got nearer he slowed his steps down and regarded how the sunshine seemed to glimmer on the white headstones. He stopped in front of them and watched them for a couple of moments wordlessly.

"Well, hello!" he murmured and glanced up to see where the old man was. Even though Jane guessed that the man usually talked to the grave he was visiting, he felt like a complete idiot talking to the stones. But he had to say the words out loud, he felt like saying them would make them more real. "I know I haven't been here for a while and I'm sorry. But what brought me here today is really important for me and I thought a lot about it before I came and decided that it was inevitable." He rubbed his palms together and stood from one foot to the other. "Angela, I…uh… I have something to tell you!" he said after another moment of silence. He took a huge breath and fought off any urge to flee before continuing. "When we got married we were young and we were fools. I've never regretted it, don't get me wrong… God, what I'm trying to say here that we never thought there would be a time when we had to get on without the other. Or at least I never thought. And still it was my own stupid arrogance that got us to this place. And I know that a part of me… a big part of me will always belong to you. No matter what I do or say, you and Charlotte will always have a special place in my heart and I know it sounds cheesy but that's the truth. But I realized that I have to be able to let you go. I have to accept that you are no longer here with me and that I'm alone. And that the best I can do is move on if I can and get on with my life because I know that's what you would want me to do… You know how I feel about Lisbon Angela! You know it because you know me. You know I fought it and you know it was useless from the beginning. Sometimes I have a feeling it was all you, that it was your intercession. That you wanted me to meet her because you knew she was the only one who could cope with me. That she was the one who would be able to kick my ass when it was needed and be there for me and support me when I was having a rough time. She could be strict and gentle at the same time and she always knew what's best for me. Hell, she knows it up to this day. I would gladly die for her, Angela! And I trust her. She's the first person since you that I trust… She had taken care of me and had my back… And I screwed it up." He laughed up ironically. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up to the sky. "I was lucky enough to find the one who could save me from myself and I was lucky enough to be loved by her. And I love her, I really do. It's nothing like I felt for you, it's completely different but not one bit weaker or stronger. It's actually really strange, I can't explain what I feel for her but I know it's love. But I was crazy enough to let my troubles and shadows surround me and shut her brightness out. I couldn't look at her without thinking of you. I couldn't kiss her without thinking what you'd say… I felt empty because you weren't here anymore and I felt like I was cheating because I still felt like I belonged to you. You know, now that I think about it I can slightly understand how cheaters feel like. Well, not fully… but the part where you love somebody and know that you belong to them, but you can't help falling in love with another person. I know you would laugh at me right now! Like… really laugh, until your lovely tears fall…" he paused his little speech in a sigh. "I have to get it together, I know… So, the point is I wanted to tell you that I think I'm ready. And I wanted to make sure you know I love you both…" he turned to Charlotte's grave too and suddenly felt ridiculous. He was talking to graves. He couldn't make sure they knew anything, they were dead. He should have made sure when they were alive! But he shook his head and went on anyway. For Lisbon. "I know you would want me to be happy just as I would want you to be happy. And really, I'm not asking for permission I just wanted to say goodbye in a way. I mean I would still come and visit you, if all goes well I would be coming with her and I would still think about you a lot and love you from the depth of my heart. But I love her too and she deserves to be loved fully. She deserves all of me and the best I can give, not just this broken wreck that I am when I allow my past to take over me. I have to be able to love her without feeling guilty. I want to be able to do it…" he finished and looked at his shoe resignedly.

Suddenly he felt worn out, he wanted to run away from all his problems, he wanted to run and never look back. He wanted to forget his past and be free of it all. But at the same time he knew he couldn't live without it. Without the sweet memory of Angela's laughter and Charlotte's baby scent. As painful as his memories were, he wouldn't trade them for anything. It's what made him the person he was and without his past he would have never met Lisbon.

He let out a deep breath. Lisbon. It all came back to her. It was all about her, and being the man she deserved. Being the best he could be.

And as he thought of her his heart filled with warmness and longing. He loved her so much that it almost hurt and he denied it so long. He felt better now that he let it all out and in that moment he knew that it was a good idea to come to the cemetery. It was almost as if he talked to Angela. Almost. The same ease spread in his body that he always felt when he could hear her comforting words. He could almost see her soft, caring and approving smile. Hear the melody of her voice as she told him to be happy and let himself love again. The only thing he missed was the touch of her fingers on his arm as she squeezed it reassuringly. The feel of her lips on his cheek as she kissed him as a reward for being mature and responsible and for making the right choice.

He sank down to the ground and sat facing the graves. He reached out and traced the edge of both stones with his index finger and a memory came to his mind as he thought about Lisbon. It was when he brought her here to see the graves.

_She was quiet the whole ride and he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. She was looking out the window with a curious expression on her face, watching where they went but never asking anything. He watched as the sunlight made her pale skin glow and her hair fell around her face in glorious waves. He wished he could reach out and trace the sharp edge of her jaw but he didn't want to disturb her thoughts. So he just drove without saying anything._

_When he stopped the car Jane waited for a minute to let her realize where they were. She looked at him first, her eyes puzzled until she saw the cemetery through the window on his side. Jane only smiled gently at her and moved to get out of the car. _

_No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get out fast enough to open her door for her. She was already standing next to the car by the time he rounded the vehicle. He rolled his eyes affectionately and reached for her hand. As he laced their fingers together she finally met his eyes and he shot her a reassuring look._

_"Jane..." she started tentatively but he squeezed her hand to make her stop._

_"Come on darling, I have someone I'd like you to meet!" he smiled and tugged her towards the entrance made of big white stone._

_They strolled between the graves without hurry and Jane felt her nervous eyes on him. He drew comforting circles on her palm with his thumb until they got to their destination._

_"You have to know, I'm not really a fan of talking to stones like they were people but sometimes I have to in order to feel just a little bit connected to them. I mean, I'm always connected to them in my heart, but it's easier to tell them things out loud if I talk to their graves..." he told Lisbon as they stood before the headstones._

_"I understand." she said but her voice was distracted. He turned his eyes to her and saw that her stare was on the sign at Angela's grave. 'Beloved wife' it read and Jane let Lisbon's hand go to slide his hands around her back and hug her to him. _

_"It's all right!" he murmured into her hair and rubbed her shoulder lovingly._

_"I'm just... I'm so sorry Patrick!" she said softly, her voice cracking as she pondered about his loss. She knew how it was to lose someone she cared about but when she lost her mother then her father she had her brothers. He had nobody when his family was murdered._

_"I know you are, but we are not here to be sad right now!" he smiled at her then turned his head to the graves. "Angela, Charlotte! We all know that Teresa doesn't need to be introduced to you. I've been telling you about her so much that I'm pretty sure you know her as good as I do. I've been angry at her and worried about her and crazy about her and depressed by her and simply amazed by her. I'm sure if you would be still with us, you both would love her as much as I do. Though the whole structure of our relationship would be completely different then… Anyway, I just wanted her to know how important she is to me. I wanted her to be able to talk to you, if she had anything to say. I felt that another step to knowing me was bringing her here. So now here we are and I really hope she won't freak out because I brought her to a cemetery on such a beautiful day. I guess I'm not the best boyfriend ever. Other guys take their girlfriend to the park or to the ocean and I take mine to a cemetery to see the graves of my late wife and child. But I suppose that is how our relationship has always been. Me the weirdo and she the angel who handles it all and puts up with me…" he said and as he finished he heard Lisbon's chuckle beside him. He turned his face to her with a serious expression and she beamed up at him._

_"Thank you!" she said and she went on her tiptoes to press a kiss at his lips. "My silly weirdo…" she murmured and hugged him tightly. Then she let go of him and knelt down in front of the graves. She shot him a look over her shoulder that told him she wanted a little privacy but the best Jane could do was take one single step backwards. She pressed her lips together to resist smiling at him and just turned back to the stones. "Angela… I..uh… I just want you to know that I'm here for him. You don't have to worry about him being swallowed by his monsters and shadows. I'm here and I won't go anywhere…" she breathed and Jane had to inch closer to hear the rest of her words. "I'm really sorry you can't be here with him and I know you are too because we both hate to see how he beats himself for things that aren't his fault and I will keep telling him that, day after day and I know you'd want me to do that. Please don't worry that I'm trying to take your place because I know that would be impossible. You both have a very special place in his heart and I wouldn't even think of taking that. I know he cares about me and I know he might not be able to express it as everybody else sometimes, but I can feel it. And I love him. I think I was lost the first time he appeared in the office with his tousled hair and creasy shirt. From that day I was trying to help him and in the process we became best friends and I hope to say something more… I think he was just what I needed and just when I needed it. I know he thinks I'm the one who saved him, but believe me he saved me just the same way. I was going down, maybe I wasn't showing it but deep down I was spiraling down into the deep darkness of depression and loneliness and lack of happiness and adventure in my life even though I am an agent. I needed his saving, I needed him to annoy me and to cause me trouble and make me laugh and make me a fool in front of my bosses. I needed him to shake up my life… And he did just that, and I am so thankful to have him. As a best friend and as somebody more…So I wanted to say thank you Angela! For making him the man he is. For loving him and supporting him and for saving him from his father… Thank you for all you've done! And I hope you know, you can rest in peace because all your love and all your endeavor isn't going to be wasted…!" she finished and by the time she said the last word he was right behind her, standing almost on her heel. When he heard her sharp intake of breath that suggested that she was done talking he wildly wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug and pressed her small body into his tightly. He felt her clutch his shirt and he rocked them back and forth slowly. _

_"I love you… Oh, how I love you!" he whispered into her hair and felt her snuggling even closer to him. He felt wetness on his chest and when he pushed her a little away from himself to see her face he saw a narrow line of tears on her cheek. He wiped it away tenderly with his thumb and tugged her back into his arms._

_They stood like that for long minutes until Lisbon moved away from him. She turned back to the graves then started walking, tugging at his hand to make him go with her. _

_Jane didn't protest or say anything, he just silently followed her out of the cemetery, only casting one last look back at the shining white headstones before they exited. They got into his car and he turned towards her._

_"You okay?" he asked, his tone full of concern. He was worried it wasn't his best idea to bring her here but he hoped she understood the thoughts behind his actions. Just like she always did..._

_"I'm fine." she said softly, a hint of a smile forming on her lips. "Thank you for bringing me here. It was unexpected but I know how much this means to you... How much they mean to you and the fact that you wanted me here is overwhelming. Knowing that you trusted me enough with this is the best I could have ever hoped for." she told him then leaned in to press a sweet kiss on his lips. _

Jane didn't know how much time have passed as he sat on the ground with memories swirling inside his head, pulling him back to the images of his past. By the time he had the strength in him to stand up it was almost saw some people around, flowers in their hands or tears on their cheeks. He looked at the graves one more time before he headed for his car to continue with his plan.

* * *

Lisbon managed to sleep in the next day and she only got out of her bed when the sun was shining on her face, blinding her with its bright rays. She planned to spend the whole day with Derek and he was supposed to come over around lunchtime. She still had a couple of hours to herself so after she showered and washed her hair she went to her kitchen to make a proper breakfast. During the week she barely had enough time to eat at all and even less time in the mornings. Most of the time she didn't eat anything till noon and she knew how unhealthy it was.

The sun still shone beautifully and she smiled happily as she eyed her kitchen. The whole scene was just so picturesque like it was taken out of a movie and she stood in her living room, staring at it amazedly. Her mind wandered back to last night and Jane's wild eyes as he punched the drunken man in the face to save her but she quickly shooed the thoughts to the back of her mind. She got bacon and eggs out of the fridge then made herself some coffee before she started preparing the food. As she cooked in her sunlit kitchen she felt carefree and peaceful. It was one of those rare moments when she forgot about all the troubles in her life and just let herself enjoy the way the sun reflected on the plates and the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of the eggs in the pan…

She sat at the table with her breakfast and took her time to eat it. She had a book open in front of her and she was grateful for her day off.

Later she decided to get some housework done since her laundry had been piling up for weeks. She put her iPod on the dock and started a play list. She put her clothes into the washing machine then she started to do the dishes while humming softly along the song. Then she put another round of clothes into the machine and was very proud of herself for getting so much work done in two hours. She was vacuuming in the living room when she faintly heard the ringing of her phone. Lisbon quickly switched the machine off and grabbed her phone but before she answered it she reached for the iPod and stopped the music.

"Lisbon!" she picked it up with a serious professional tone.

"Hello Agent Lisbon, how are you today?" a cheerful voice sounded on the other end of the line and she grinned.

"Hey Derek, I'm fine. Great actually! What about you?" she asked back and she took a strand of hair between her index finger and thumb and started to twirl it.

"Good! I was calling to ask if I should bring some food or you have plans?" he asked.

"Well… Since I don't really have ingredients at the house right now, it would be really nice of you if you brought something!" she told him with a smile and she perched on the edge of a cupboard.

"All right, what would you like for lunch then?" he asked and she could hear noises from the background.

"I don't know… Surprise me!" she challenged him and heard his answering laugh instantly.

"Okay, but don't complain if I bring something gross…" he joked and she chuckled.

"I think it's fine until you don't bring worms and nails… Deal?"

"Deal! See you in an hour!" he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"See you! Bye!" she said and they hung up.

She shook her head with a grin on her face then pushed herself off the cupboard to continue the tidying up. She was all done in half an hour then she pulled her hair up into a messy bun and took a shower again. She didn't want to welcome her boyfriend all sweaty and dusty after all…

Her boyfriend. She pondered about the word and the mean of it while she stood under the shower. She cared about him a lot that was for sure. And over the past weeks as they got to knew each other better she got even more proof that Derek was a great guy. She was happy that she had given him a chance. It was not like with Jane of course. She missed that sparkle that they had. Of course there was a sparkle with Derek, but it was not the same. She didn't have chills running up her spine every time he looked at her and she didn't feel like she couldn't get enough of him when they were together. The passion was not enough compared to what she had felt like with Jane. She didn't really realize it until yesterday when all the memories and sensations came back from that one kiss. It was **them** all over again. It was sparkle and passion and dizziness and fire…

She missed it.

But it was also insecure and unsteady. And Derek was neither. He was nice and trustworthy and Lisbon felt safe with him. She cared about him and she loved that he was who he was. He was free and fun and he could give what she needed. He wasn't troubled and didn't have dark secrets. He wasn't Patrick Jane in any way. Derek may have not given her the chills Jane did, but he also didn't have a haunting past on his shoulders. She had to compromise…

**And that was it! What do you think? I know that most of you don't like Derek at all, and don't worry after all this is a Jane and Lisbon story… But I'm gonna have to tell you there are a few more chapters to go for Lisbon and Derek! I'm sorry but that is how this story must go, but I really hope you will like the way it will end up! :) Also, there were some serious things and deep feelings talk in this chapter and I can't wait to hear what you think about it!**

**Please tell me your thoughts and opinions in a review! It would mean the world to me and I hope you know that all your comments and words are dearly appreciated! :)**

**Next chapter can be expected, just like always, in a week! Thank you for reading and all your feedback! Your support is what keeps me going! **

**Until then, xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi guys, here is the new chapter! Thank you to those who reviewed on last chapter and also to those of you who favorited this story! It means a lot to me to know that you like it! :)  
I hope you will like this chapter!**

_Disclaimer: Nope, don't own the show…_

_Chapter 10_

"No, I don't believe you!" Lisbon laughed and shook her head playfully at Derek.

"What? Why is it so hard to believe that I got my first kiss on prom night?" he asked defensively with a shade of self consciousness in his voice.

"I don't know, you're just too much of a handsome, popular guy type I guess!" she shrugged and a small blush appeared on her cheek.

"I'll let you know, that I was the geek of the class in high school. No one wanted to kiss me..." he said and brushed a strand of hair affectionately behind her ear.

"It's quite hard to believe…" she murmured and leaned closer to kiss him.

They were laying in her bed, the sheets covering their bodies as the remains of sunlight filtered in through the window. After lunch they watched a movie and went for a short walk then got back to her apartment only to stumble their way into her bedroom in a haze of desire.

For half an hour now, they were talking quietly. Sharing secrets and wondering about the great questions of life together. Lisbon drew meaningless patterns across his skin and he caressed her face and hair with his fingers over and over again. It was so peaceful that she hardly believed there was a world outside her bedroom.

"I'm hungry, let's go and see if I have any snacks in the house!" she said and grinned back at him as she stood up. She pulled a blanket around her shoulders and made her way out of her bedroom in her underwear.

"What? That's not possible! We've had lunch… Loads of food!" he exclaimed as he hurried after her, clumsily pulling his T-shirt over his head.

"I'm sorry… I'm insatiable!" she laughed and opened her fridge.

"That you are!" he murmured into her ear and smoothed his hand over her stomach as he hugged her from behind. "Good thing I brought some ice cream!" he told her and reached into the fridge over her shoulder, pulling out a box of ice cream.

"Hmm… perfect!" she said, leaning back into his chest and turning her head to kiss his neck.

A series of soft knocking interrupted their moment and Lisbon looked at the clock with raised eyebrows. It was almost six and she hadn't been expecting anyone. She looked at Derek to find him gazing at her with a curious expression and she shrugged as she had no explanation to offer.

"I'll get it, you find two spoons and I'll meet you back in bed! Take off this shirt!" she told him in a deliberately throaty voice and saw his pupils dilate. They stood like that for a second before another knock sounded and Lisbon pushed at his chest moving him in the direction of her room before she sassily walked to the door. She pulled the blanket around herself tightly then she opened the door.

"Jane!" she said in an astonished tone. He was standing in the doorway, one of his hands behind his back and he looked at her up and down just as surprisedly as she felt. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I..uh.. I should have called first. I'm sorry. I just.. I uh, wanted to give you this… But I don't want to bother you." He stammered and Lisbon had to repress her smirk when she saw his eyes fixed on her bare legs. He pulled his hand from behind him and Lisbon followed the line of his arm to find a small box and a single flower on his palm. It was a tiny forget-me-not.

"Jane… I.." she shook her head and looked back up into his eyes. His blue eyes sparkled with sorrow and hopefulness.

"Just take it…" he nodded towards his hand and she reluctantly reached for it. "I know I hurt you and I'm sorry but I hope you know that…" he said but he was cut off by the sound of a door opening and someone approaching behind her. She saw when he saw Derek over her shoulders and the way his eyes narrowed and some sort of wild anger flashed in them.

"Is everything all right?" Derek asked as he came closer. Lisbon felt his presence behind herself and she turned her head to smile at him. He was clad only in his boxers and as she ran her eyes over his strong arms and felt warmness in her stomach.

"Yes Derek, it's fine. Jane was just dropping something off…" she said casually but she quickly closed her palm around the box and the flower. Derek put one hand on her waist and extended the other for Jane to shake it.

"Hi Patrick!" he greeted him and Lisbon watched as Jane shook the hand while his eyes were fixed on the other resting on her hips.

"You better go now…" she said silently and he looked up at her. He was hurt and she saw it. It pained her to do it, but this was the right thing. He hurt both of them when he thought he could move on with her and Lisbon knew she couldn't survive that again. And she had Derek now… So Jane would have to deal with his jealousy.

"Yeah, I better…" he agreed in a defeated voice and took a step back. "I'll see you Monday! Have a nice weekend!" he said flatly and turned away.

Lisbon watched as he strolled down the steps but she didn't have the chance to see when he got into his car because Derek tugged her back into the apartment with his hand on her hips. He closed the door and pressed a lingering kiss under her ear, which made her shiver.

"Come on, that ice cream will melt!"

* * *

Lisbon didn't want to open what Jane gave her in front of Derek so she had to wait until late at night when he went back to his loft for a change of clothes. As soon as the door was closed behind him though, Lisbon ran to her nightstand where she left the little box and grabbed it eagerly.

It was made of cardboard and it was plain dark blue with a small silver star on the lower right corner of it. She held it with slightly shaking fingers before she pulled the lid off and she saw a ring inside. It was familiar and as Lisbon took a closer look her breath hitched in her throat. It was Jane's wedding band. She pulled it out of the box and smoothed over the cold metal. As she looked back into the box she saw one more thing. A pair of heartbreakingly beautiful earrings. They were made of blue jewels which Lisbon remembered were named crisocolla. Her eyes watered as she wondered how on earth could he still remember…

_They were walking hand in hand between the wooden booths, watching the vendors and their merchandise with a smile. Jane's thumb kept running small circles on her wrist and Lisbon squeezed his hand. He wanted to take her out somewhere for their half year anniversary and after days of begging she gave in, allowing him to plan it all. She found that the pure joy on his face when she agreed was worth anything and as she laid her head on his shoulder while walking she had to admit it was quite a pleasant evening. He outdid himself when he took her to a picnic in the park then they started walking on the beach until they bumped into these street vendors. Lisbon wanted to check it out so Jane nodded and let her lead him through the crowd. _

_She felt a slight pull on her hand and looked up to find Jane motioning towards one of the booths with his head. She followed his line of sight and saw an old lady with all kinds of stuff in front of her on the counter._

_"What do you have in mind?" she asked with a playful suspicion in her tone but he just grinned at her brilliantly._

_They reached the booth and the old lady flashed them a toothless smile._

_"Hello there, lovebirds! What can I get you two?" she asked in a rusty voice._

_"We are just looking around thank you!" he told the woman but Lisbon was too absorbed by the jewels to notice it. She ran her eyes over the variety, marveling at the pretty hand-made bracelets and earrings. _

_"All of my jewels are made of minerals, darling!" the lady informed her and Lisbon smiled at the vendor as she picked a bracelet up. It was made of deep red stones, many little balls hung up on a line. It was gorgeous but she put it back down, deciding that it was not her style. _

_"You like something?" Jane whispered into her ear and she shook her head, not wanting him to buy her anything. _

_"Let's go!" she said but just as she was about to turn away she caught sight of a small earring made of blue stones. It was sparkling in the evening light like a star and Lisbon admitted to herself that it reminded her of Jane's eyes. Her stare lingered on it for a second but she quickly said goodbye to the vendor and moved on when she felt Jane's gaze on her face._

_They strode in the chilly night some more then went back to her place. But Lisbon kept thinking about that pretty earring so next day she went back to look for the vendor. She found the old lady quite easily and she must have recognized her too because she grinned at her kindly._

_"Good morning miss! What brings you here?" she asked as Lisbon stopped in front of her booth. _

_"I would like to ask if you still got that pair of earrings made of some kind of blue jewels?" Lisbon ran her eyes over the light brown velvet that covered the counter but couldn't find the earrings. She peered up at the seller nervously, already guessing the answer._

_"I'm so sorry darling, but someone already took it this morning! If I had known you would come back, I would have saved it for you!" she told her with an apologetic smile and Lisbon swayed her head._

_"It's all right, you couldn't know!" she shrugged and even though she tried to seem nonchalant, she felt rather disappointed on the inside. "Could you… You said they were all minerals." She said and the lady nodded in confirmation. "Could you tell me the name of that mineral? It was such an amazing shade of blue, I've never seen it before!" she said, remembering the greenish blue perfectly._

_"Of course, it was made of crisocolla. The mineral of relaxing and clear thinking. It helps you transform every negative energy around you to harmony and love. That earring was one of the most breathtaking one I've ever put my hands on to be honest! It was truly a unique color!" the woman said almost nostalgically and Lisbon let out a soft sigh.  
She wished good luck to the vendor then waved her goodbye before she made her way back to her car to get to the office in time._

And now she sat on her bed, holding those exact earrings in her hand, admiring the striking color that she thought she would never see again. She smoothed her fingers over the stones and smiled. It must have been Jane who bought the earrings before she got back there. He caught her looking at them and without commenting on it he bought them for her… She couldn't believe it!

Lisbon sighed deeply while she stared at the jewelry, pondering what Jane thought this would cause. Because if he thought she would just simply fall back into his arms from a gesture like this he was horribly wrong. Of course, she appreciated his efforts and her heart melted at the thought of him going back to buy her this, the thought that he really did pay attention to her. But Lisbon also knew that just because he listened and remembered it didn't make their problems go away. Maybe he thought they could go on like they never broke up, but he hurt her too much. It wasn't that she couldn't forgive him, she already did long ago. She just didn't want to get that hurt again, she wasn't sure her heart would be able to survive if he ever broke it again... And Lisbon knew he would because he was still captured by his past.

Then her eyes shifted back onto the box again and she caught sight of his wedding band again. Maybe by giving her his ring, he wanted to prove that he was ready? Lisbon's heartbeat fastened at the idea of him being ready to move on.

However, she couldn't afford to hope for such things. How could she be sure that he wouldn't hurt her again? That he wouldn't just decide to dump her because he wasn't over it after all... That he wouldn't break up with her because he realize that it wasn't her who he wanted to be with.

She snapped the small box closed and tossed it on the nightstand with tears in her eyes.

Her ringing cell phone interrupted her train of thoughts and she pushed herself off her bed. She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Derek. Wiping away the few tears that escaped her eyes she cleared her throat and answered.

"Hey, what's up?" she greeted him with a forced happy tone, hoping that he wouldn't catch the falseness of it.

"Hi, I just wanted to clear something up! Uh... Do you want me to... Come back for tonight or not?" he questioned and a genuine smile spread on Lisbon's face. His awkward stammering was adorable and she could almost see the way his cheeks started to turn red from self-consciousness.

There was her chance! There was this nice guy, who wanted to be with her and her alone. He was just waiting for her to accept him as he was, not being Patrick Jane. He did everything he could to make her happy and he was good at it. She just had to let Jane go and see how wonderful Derek was. And maybe it was the point of all of that... Maybe it was a life lesson. She had to learn to let go of something she wanted for a long time but would never fully have even if she waited. And as a reward for learning her lesson, she would get Derek! Someone who was not what she had been longing after for such a long time, but he would be able to love her with his whole heart. And it wasn't like she had much to complain for, he was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.

Just as Jane, she had to let her past go as well. She had to let herself love somebody else and move on.

And with these thoughts in her mind she let out an affectionate sigh before answering.

"Yes, I think you definitely should come back!"

She could at least try...

* * *

Jane went back to his motel and collapsed on the bed. He lay there on top of the covers without any hope of getting some sleep that night. He knew his mind was running too fast to be able to calm down and get some rest. He would probably be thinking about Lisbon and what she thought about his small gift all night long. Did she understand his hint? And if she did, would she be able to give him a second chance?

Jane hoped she would consider taking him back. She was Saint Teresa after all, she believed in second chances and people being able to change. It was one of her qualities that he most admired about her, one which he was sort of envious of. He could never really believe in people. Not after what he grew up in and then just when he was starting to make peace with his childhood and allow his present happiness with Angela and Charlotte define his views Red John took them away from him. Making him lose his belief again…

However, Jane knew he didn't deserve Lisbon. She was too good for him and he hurt her too much. If he was in her position, he wouldn't have forgiven himself.

But she was different, she was better.

And no matter how terrified he was of losing her, he knew that if she decided to stick with Derek he would most probably respect her decision. Most probably...

After all, he was never one to give up when he set his mind to something. He would fight and chase until he went crazy then he would fight some more! He would make up plans and tricks to reach his goal for days. He would be nice or mad, charming or violent, shy or reckless. Whatever he needed to be to get what he wanted. And this time it was more than some sick chase for a killer that made his life miserable. It was a worthy chase and she was worth all his energy. She was what he wanted, and he would not stop unless she directly told him that was what she wanted. That she didn't love him anymore.

But until then, he would do everything in his power to make her change her mind about him. He would do anything to get her back.

The earring he gave her would have been a surprise for her birthday. He wanted something special and he believed that the best thing to get a woman is something she said she wanted when she didn't think you were listening. And he was pretty good in that, listening when she thought he was off in some other land. When he saw her eyes lit up at the sight of those blue stones he knew he found the perfect gift for her. The next morning as he woke up he went back and bought those earrings then made the old vendor promise that if Lisbon did come back for them she wouldn't tell her that it was him who bought the jewelry. He tried to suppress his amusement when he saw the tiny, annoyed wrinkles above her eyes when she came into the office that morning. If he had to take an educated guess, she went back to buy the earrings for herself, always the proud woman not letting him buy her stuff, and leaning that somebody had already bought them. And the odds were in his favor, the lady didn't tell her it was him…

And even though he didn't get to give them to her on her birthday, he wanted her to have them. And it appeared to be the perfect gift to let her know that he was listening. That he always paid attention to her and that he knew her better than anyone. He knew her facial expressions and postures. Her smiles and stares, the way her lips would twitch when she was trying to repress a smirk and the way her eyes sparkle when she is especially happy.

He knew her and he loved her. And he wanted her back, more than anything in the world! He needed her to save his ass and he needed her to make him believe that his life was worth living!

**And this was it! What do you think? Jane finally decides to take steps and get Lisbon back. But it won't be an easy task…;)  
Please review and tell me your thoughts! It would mean the world to me to know your opinion!  
Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)  
Next chapter will hopefully be up in a week, but I already know that I will have one hell of a week so if I'm a bit late with it please forgive me! :) I will try my best to update soon!  
Until then, xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys, so I did manage to finish this chapter in time! :) I'm kind of proud of myself… Anyway, thank you all so much for all the lovely feedback on last chapter! It always warms my heart to know that you enjoy this story… This chapter wasn't exactly a piece of cake to write but I really hope you will like it! :)**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own The mentalist…_

_Chapter 11_

The following Monday Jane couldn't wait for Lisbon to arrive at the CBI. He paced back and forth in the bullpen and dropping down on his couch when he heard the ding of the elevator. That had to be her since they were always the first two in the office. He was nervous as to what her reaction would be... He didn't lead himself to false hopes, he knew that everything wouldn't be just magically right between them again from a beautiful piece of jewelry, but he wanted to know what she thought. Did she understand his meaning? Would she accept it at all?

He crossed his ankles right as he heard her familiar footsteps approaching. He closed his eyes, hoping that she would stop and 'wake him up'. He imagined her pretty face leaning above him, her dark brown curls framing her face, then as she leaned down they would dangle in his face. And of course the earrings in her ear would sparkle like diamonds. But the first thing he would see were her breathtaking eyes… Maybe behind the curtain of her hair she would let him kiss her.

He had to be disappointed though when he heard her steps pass him. She didn't even falter in her walk towards her office. He cracked one eye open and saw her moving form, almost out of the bullpen.

"Good morning Lisbon!" he said, his voice intentionally a little rough. He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and peered at her. She stopped and turned back, but no greeting smile graced her features.

"Morning!" she told him with a brief nod and she was about to turn and continue when he stood up.

"Wait! Hey, Lisbon… What's wrong?" he asked sensing her bad mood and going closer. His eyes were soft and concerned as he regarded her, trying to figure out what was bothering her. He cocked his head to the side, taking in her face and posture. She was still half turned away from him and she had a standoffish look in her eyes. She was clutching her take out coffee cup with one hand and the other was at her side, playing nervously with the edge of her jacket.

"What? Nothing Jane!" she denied and took a step backwards, her eyes running over the bullpen to see that they were the only ones on the floor. She wanted to run the other direction but suddenly she felt his hand on her arm. Her head snapped down to it and she stared at the gentleness with which his fingers curled around her arm.

"Lisbon…" he murmured and she had to repress a shiver that run down her spine from his smooth voice.

Jane searched her face for long moments then his eyes traveled to her ear and his heart sank when he saw that she wasn't wearing the earrings. He met her eyes then and saw the desperation and apology in them. His fingers loosened around her arm as realization sank in. He dropped his stare and pulled his hand back from her.

"Jane I…" she started but was cut off when he looked up into her eyes. His crystal blue orbs were sad and determined at the same time. His hand that was holding her arm just a moment ago came up to settle on the side of her neck and before she could go anything about it he pulled her face to his and pressed his lips at hers.

She automatically closed her eyes when their lips met and even though she knew this was wrong she let herself forget it for a short minute. Then when his lips were starting to get more eager she put her free hand on his chest and pushed him away. She gasped as her mouth broke away from his.

"Jane you can't just… we can't… This isn't right!" she stammered and after one more slide of his thumb over her pulse point he pulled his hand back.

"Why?" he asked and saw in the way she averted her eyes that she didn't want to talk about these things. She just wanted him to let her go, she wanted to shut him out and run away.

"Because I have a boyfriend. Jane I can't do this…" she shook her head and backed a few steps away from him.

"Do you love him Teresa?" he asked and her eyes widened. He got braver from that and stepped closer to her again.

"Don't do this Jane!" she begged him, her face getting flushed from his closeness.

"Tell me you don't want it… Tell me you don't love me and I'll stop!" he said boldly and held her helpless stare. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Then she took a breath and straightened her back.

"I don't want it Jane! I'm with Derek now, and I'm happy… He won't hurt me and that's what I need right now!" she said and spun on her heels before he could react.

By the time her words registered in his brain she was in her office, behind a closed door.

She was afraid he would hurt her… He felt awful and decided that he needed to prove her that he would never hurt her again. That he would rather die than hurt her again. That he would do anything to gain her trust again.

* * *

In her office Lisbon leaned back on the door and pressed a trembling hand to her lips. She could still taste him in her mouth, she could still feel the pressure of his warm lips against hers. She felt tears stinging her eyes and she closed them, allowing a couple of drops to roll down her cheek.

She had to stay strong and resist him, but how the hell was she supposed to do it like this? She knew that on the long run it would be better for both of them to just stay friends, but every time he got a bit too close to her, every time he flashed her one of his glamorous smiles reserved only for her she fell for him over and over again. No matter how much he had hurt her, how he broke her heart into tiny pieces when he broke up with her, Lisbon couldn't help it…

She wanted to put that earring on today, she wished she could just wear it all the time. But she changer her mind at the last moment when she realized how it would look. It would look like she wanted him back. She knew she might be overreacting it, but she didn't want him to think that she was going to let him win again. She had decided that she would stay with Derek and she was sticking to that despite any trick Jane was pulling. She knew him, she knew that once he set his mind to something he didn't give up. But she also knew that Jane would back down if he saw that she really was happy with Derek. And even though she might be happier with Jane, she had to stay strong and reject him no matter what he tried. She would be happier for a while but then it would all turn upside down and all kinds of bad. Their problems won't go away in a couple of months and one of them had to be responsible. If not him, then her... If only for the sake of their friendship which most probably wouldn't survive another break up.

Lisbon pushed herself away from the door and walking to her desk she felt the pressure of the earrings in her pocket. She changed her mind in the very last minute. She sighed, thinking how long it would take for him to break her now so steady decision.

* * *

In the next few days there weren't any major developments in Jane's plan. He was thinking and waiting and watching, trying to figure out what would be the best next step. He noticed that Lisbon seemed to avoid him lately, not that he could blame her. She was most probably afraid that he would attack her with a kiss again. Which by the way was a very tempting idea after that morning...

But he had to make her change her mind about him. He had to gain her trust back, show her just how incredibly important she was for him. And sudden stolen kisses wouldn't exactly help his case.

When they got a new case, a murder of a professional poker player he saw the perfect opportunity. The case was like an open book for him but he had to get some proof for the team. And an idea popped up in his mind as he made his way to the elevator. He paused and thought it over then as he made up is mind he turned back and headed straight to Lisbon's office.

He knocked on the closed door and smirked to himself. Now, he was respecting her privacy... What a gentleman he became just for her!

"Yeah?" she called out and he poked his head inside.

"Am I bothering you?" he asked and smiled at the surprised raise of eyebrow from her when she saw him.

"Uh… no, come in Jane!" she said, waving him inside. He saw the confusion on her face as he walked to her couch and sat down. "Can I help you with anything?" she asked a little suspiciously.

"I just came to tell you that I'm going to visit the mother of our victim. Would you like to come with me?"

"I… No, I have work to do. But why would you go there? Is she a suspect?" she asked and narrowed her eyebrows. She reached for a folder in the top drawer of her desk and ran through the information.

"No, I just have a feeling she will be a helpful source of information!" he shrugged with a grin. "You sure you don't want to come?" he asked and couldn't keep the hopefulness out of his voice.

"No, I'm good…" she muttered and her eyes kept going between him and her paperwork.

"All right, I just wanted you to know what I'm up to…" he told her and stood up from the couch. He felt her eyes on himself all the way to the door and he knew she was wondering what hit him as it was quite unlike him to tell her his plans. But to get her trust back, this was the smallest first step he was going to take…

* * *

Two days later he had the case wide open. In his head at least. He already had a plan to catch the culprit but he had one thing left before he would swing into action.

He jogged down the stairs from the attic and strolled into the bullpen, looking around. VanPelt was typing on her computer while Cho and Rigsby were throwing a ball to each other.

"Have you seen Lisbon?" he asked them and VanPelt just shook her head, not looking up from her work. Jane looked at the boys who both shrugged. "You can stop the crazy searching Grace dear, I will have this case closed by nightfall." He added as he walked across the bullpen towards Lisbon's office.

"Oh yeah, sure!" she heard VanPelt's chuckle and the sound of the keyboard.

As he approached her office, he saw that Lisbon was not inside and he sighed. Where could she be?

He started for the kitchen, hoping that maybe she was just making a coffee for herself. He didn't even get there though when he already knew that she wasn't in the kitchen, it was way too silent.

He passed the kitchen and went for the bathrooms instead. He waited in front of the ladies room for five minutes and after that he only hoped that she wasn't in there…

Then he heard her voice, quiet and soft, coming from somewhere down the hall. He followed the sound and reached a door not far from the bathrooms. The sign on the door said storage and Jane paused in front of it. He pressed his ear to the door to make sure that her voice did really come from there.

He instantly recognized her tiny laugh and frowned.

"No, that's not right! Okay, I gotta go now..." he heard her words as he almost melted into the door. "Really! I love you too!" she said and Jane realized that she was hanging up the phone in the last minute. He pushed away from the door and sprinted in the other direction. He was turning the corner when he heard the door open but his mind was elsewhere. She said I love you too... Were she and Derek already in the 'I love you phase'?

Was he too late with all this gaining her trust back thing? Or maybe he only had a chance at being friends with her? He could do that, friends were better than nothing. But he wasn't sure he could contain his feelings for her forever... They were too strong and urgent, they would bubble up and break out of him one day. And what if she were already married to another guy? She would never cheat on her husband, not even if she reciprocated his feelings...

"Jane? What are you doing here?" Lisbon's question pulled him out of his thoughts and he realized he had been leaning on a wall just around the corner.

"I was...I was just looking for you actually!" he said, forcing a smile on his face. Lisbon raised an eyebrow, and a look of doubt formed on her face which he wished he could kiss away. But Jane knew that he couldn't make her every doubt about him disappear just with a kiss. No, Teresa Lisbon was hard to get and ever harder to win back when you were stupid enough to let her go. Even if you thought it was the best for her... He would have to work to get her back, but he was ready to fight, he was ready to work tirelessly until she was convinced that she belonged nowhere else but next to him.

"Why?" she asked and motioned for him to walk with her.

"I wanted to share my plan to solve the case with you!" he told her innocently.

"Really? Well, that's...um, nice of you?" she said but it sounded like a question. Jane knew what she wanted to say instead of nice, she was about to say unusual.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure it was his friend Mark... I just need one more test!" he winked, and she nodded.

"And what would that test be?" she asked.

"Well I would like to organize a little get together… Sort of a poker party?" he told her as they stopped in front of her office. Lisbon's hand paused on the doorknob and she glanced at him over her shoulder.

"And why are you telling me this? Is there something you need?" she asked and Jane felt slightly bad about the way he had treated her for years. He now saw the hurt that he caused her by his actions in her eyes and he hated himself for it. He should have included her in his plans, or at least the ones that weren't too dangerous.

"No Lisbon, I just thought you would like to know about it. And maybe join me…" he suggested and tried to make his words more natural with a small smile. She looked taken aback and she looked into his eyes questioningly. He held her gaze and tried his best to tell her with his eyes that he was working on becoming better for her. That she could trust him!

"I…Yeah, I would like to come with you!" she nodded after a second of hesitation and pulled her hand back from the door. "And tell me Jane, what kind of a poker game would this be?" she asked with just the hint of teasing in her voice and warmness flooded his veins. This was them again, teasing and bantering through cases. He missed it so much over the last few days and he was oh so happy to have it back, if only for a little while…

"You know me, my dear! Only the best and most rotten kind!" he laughed at her and knew that in that moment –just like so many times before- their minds went down the same path, remembering one particular time when he brought her to a poker party.

_It was raining and they had to run from the car but Lisbon didn't mind. She was feeling sort of nervous even though Jane promised there would be nothing illegal about this game. She still had a knot in her stomach entering the club and she felt incredibly out of place. She glanced at Jane who grinned back and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. He greeted the bartender and the middle aged man nodded towards a table in the back of the room. She turned her head towards it and saw five men seated around it with cards on the table, smoke above their heads. She had to repress a snicker at the sight, it looked so much like in movies. _

_"That way Lisbon! You are going to love the boys!" he said and ushered her to the table. The men all looked up at their arrival and she felt self conscious from their intense stare. "Gentlemen, it's been too long!" Jane shook hands with all of them, then stood next to her and she felt his hand at the small of her back. "This lovely lady is Teresa Lisbon, I hope you wouldn't mind her joining us for tonight!" he introduced her and she waved shyly. _

_"You playing?" asked a long haired man from the far end of the table._

_"Yes!" she said as confidently as she could and let an amused smirk spread across her lips when she saw the surprised expressions on their faces. "What, you've never been beaten by a woman before?" she asked boldly and took delight in the approving grins of the men. She felt Jane shaking with laughter and when she turned her head towards him he looked at her with eyes that she could only describe as proud. He leaned in to kiss the corner of her mouth then pushed her in the direction of an empty seat. _

_"She's a killer when it comes to poker fellows, be warned!" he said and walked around the table to the last available chair right opposite her._

That night six men, including Jane had been indeed beaten by Lisbon over and over again in poker. She still didn't know how she did it, how she had gotten so lucky. She had a strong feeling that Jane had a hand in it, but he swore that he didn't do anything…

Jane laughed at the memory and saw that Lisbon tried really hard to contain a huge smile as well.

"All right, let's go then!" Jane said and made a move for the elevator only to be stopped by Lisbon's hand on his arm. Her touch was timid and she pulled her hand back immediately as he turned his head back to her.

"Hey Jane? Thanks for telling me this time!" she told him and he almost teared up at the gratitude that sparkled in her eyes.

"Yeah, I knew you would be up for a little gambling anytime!" he joked, masking his feelings with a grin as they walked to the elevator to catch the killer.

On the ride down to the parking lot Jane allowed himself to bathe in the small victory that he achieved this day. He was finally making progression. Slowly and without her noticing it he would win her trust back…

**And this was it… I'm curiously waiting to hear your opinion about it! Please write me a few words in a review and tell me if you liked it! It would totally make my day! :)  
I truly hope you liked it, thank you for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me!  
Oh, and I just have to mention the latest episode… I mean, woooaaah! I absolutely loved it, what about you guys? :)  
Next chapter, as usual, in about a week!  
Until then, xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

** Hey guys, thank you all for the amazing feedback on last chapter! I'm always so happy to read your thoughts, and know what you think about what I write!  
Here is the new chapter, I'll be honest, I really thought I wouldn't finish it today, but I did and it kind of happens to be a long one with two flashbacks… So I hope you will like it! :)  
Sorry for all the possible mistakes!**

_Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own The mentalist…_

_Chapter 12_

Next week Lisbon was super cheerful. Derek took her to meet his parents on the weekend and it had its effect on the next few days. His mom was absolutely delightful and his father was funny and friendly with her.  
Jane was also behaving like a grown up lately which was quite uncharacteristic from him but she wasn't complaining. He shared his ideas and plans with her and wasn't pissing off so many people as usual.

On Thursday he started acting like his old self again, wandering off and disappearing in the attic more and Lisbon accepted the thought that easy life with him seemed to be over. He was deep in thought all day and she often had the feeling of being watched, however, whenever she turned to him he was gazing into nothing, staring in front of him or just looking somewhere else.

"Is everything okay, Jane?" she finally asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Yes, of course it is Lisbon dear!" he said absent mindedly, walking past her towards the elevator.

She looked after him with narrowed eyebrows and swayed her head from side to side. She looked at VanPelt who was sitting at her desk, typing on her computer but she just shrugged. Lisbon headed for the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee before she would get back to her work and found a small smiley shaped biscuit on top of a pot of freshly made coffee. With a surprised grin she reached for it and while she took a bite she poured herself a cup. The smell made her nostrils tingle and her mouth water. The biscuit was deliciously soft and chocolate flavoured.

Then she went into her office, her mind already on the paperwork that has been waiting for her for the better part of the day. Fortunately it wasn't horribly much so she expected to get out of the CBI by six or seven. Derek would be so thrilled!

She smiled affectionately at his thought, the man growing more and more important in her life. They spent every moment they could with each other and they had got to know each other really well by now. She knew that he liked blueberry jam on his toast and that he was shaving every third day but if she asked really nicely he left it grow for an additional couple of days so that he would have a slight stubble which she found incredibly hot. He knew that she usually slept on the right side of the bed and that she woke up every Saturday at nine o'clock sharp to go for a morning run before having breakfast. He also knew that she liked it when he cooked for her.

Lisbon strolled to her desk with joyful thoughts swimming through her head when she noticed a tiny something on her desktop which wasn't there when she left. She had only been in the bullpen for about ten minutes. She went closer and froze on the spot when she saw what it was.

A beautiful white magnolia. Resting on top of the last file she was working on, waiting to be noticed, to be admired.

Lisbon turned to the door, thinking about Jane's hasty exit and strange behavior. It couldn't be anyone else but him, that part she was sure. But why did she get it? Did he do something bad again? Was he trying to make up for something? Or was he just in a good mood? But then why did he leave so abruptly?

She stepped closer and picked up the flower, twirling it between her fingers with a hesitant smile. It was indeed gorgeous...

* * *

Jane was stuck. He had been planning his next step in the battle for Lisbon's heart when Derek, Lisbon's current boyfriend, burglary detective, perfect husband material Derek called him. His words were careful, almost shy as he asked for Jane's help.

"You must know Teresa's birthday is coming up..." he started and Jane bit back a sarcastic grunt. Knew it? He had been constantly thinking about it, trying to find the most special gift he could give her for weeks. The gift that would speak for itself and tell her how deeply he loved her.

"Yeah!" he only said instead, keeping his voice easy and nonchalant.

"Yes, and I've been wondering about making it memorable for her. She deserves it, and I want her to really feel that it's her day! But nothing came to mind, nothing meaningful or special enough for her. I strained my mind, thought over everything she had ever said to me but I couldn't come up with anything original. Then I realized that you are the person who knows her the best. So, do you have any idea? Please Patrick, I want her to be happy..." Derek told him and Jane closed his eyes for a second.

"Yeah, I'll thing about it. See what I can do..." he told the detective and quickly hung up, still a bit shaken from the request.

They both wanted the same but it seemed like only one of them could have it. He would either help Derek or think about his own gift. His plan was slowly proceeding. Every day he did something, even if it was only a small gesture, to make up to Lisbon about his past behavior. He would bite back a remark or buy her a muffin on his way to work.

But he knew that he wasn't the main reason she was glowing lately. It was Derek and whatever he did, he made her happy and Jane was incredibly jealous. He wanted to be the one who made her happy, but he knew that it was only fair this way. He had his chance and blew it, so now he would have to work twice as hard to achieve anything at all…

And he wanted Lisbon to have the best birthday possible. And in his position, he wouldn't be able to give her that. He could give her a wonderfully picked out present which would make her smile and she would probably be really grateful for it, but it was so much less than what she deserved. She deserved a whole day full of the appreciation of her birth. She deserved to know that the world was a better place because she was in it. And Derek, with a little help from Jane, could give that to her…

And with these thoughts he decided that he would give up his plans to find Lisbon the perfect gift and help Derek to create the perfect day for her instead. He just had to rack his brain to find the inspirational sparkle that would start it all. From then on, everything would work like clockwork.

And in that moment, as he made up his mind to side with Derek on this one, he immediately knew what would make that day the most significant for her.

_"Come on, it's not like you've always hated Thanksgiving, right?" she prodded and Jane shrugged._

_"I don't know… I guess I just don't really remember a time when I didn't hate it." He admitted and saw the pity in her eyes. However, it was softened by so much affection and hopefulness that he almost didn't even feel the sting that thinking about his childhood brought up in him._

_"Well, then we will find a way to make you like it..." she smiled with a playful glint in her green eyes and leaned closer to him on the bed to kiss him lightly. Jane sighed and melted into her kiss, shutting out everything but her delicious lips on his and her tender hands sliding up his arm into his hair._

_"And what about you? How did you celebrate these feast days?" he asked when they finally pulled back to catch their breaths._

_"Well, we always gathered together around the table and ate turkey and sometimes sang a few songs. My mom would tell us the story of Thanksgiving and we would all tell each other what we were most grateful for that year. At Christmas we would all go to my grandparents' for a fantastic lunch made by my grandmother. They used to have this huge dining table around which we all could sit comfortably. All my cousins and uncles and aunts were there and we would just talk all through lunch. Sometimes there were several parallel conversations going on at the same time and it could be really loud. After that the children went to run around the house and play, or went outside to have crazy snowball battles while the adults washed the dishes and watched football on Tv. Later when we were all tucked under warm blankets and crowded into my grandparents' living room we opened presents. Before everyone went home we attended midnight mass then kissed each other goodbye. It used to be magical..." she said, a small smile gracing her features as she remembered. _

_"And what about birthdays? How did you celebrate?" he asked, twirling a strand of her dark brown hair around his finger, tugging on it until she was close enough for him to peck her lips._

_"With cake, even after our parents were dead I would always bake cake for my brothers and they would buy me cake. That was what we did. We never had big parties even though when Tommy was becoming a teen he always wanted to have a birthday party as the other guys in his class… He had one, when he was seventeen." She laughed out loud at the memory before continuing. "He convinced me that he had to do it if he didn't want to be an outsider. He begged me for weeks and when I finally said okay he was so happy. We had to leave the flat for that night, I remember he even had a huge fight with James about it. He wouldn't even let his brothers stay… Next morning I got home to a catastrophe zone! I swear if there wasn't fifty empty bottles around then none!" she shook her head and Jane waited with a gentle smile, caught up in the story she was telling. After a moment of silence though he realized that she wasn't going to continue and he decided to ask the thing that had been nagging at him since she mentioned birthdays. _

_"And what about you? What was your dream birthday like?" he asked and Lisbon looked up at him with raised eyebrows. _

_"Me? I didn't really care about my own birthday… " she said and looked away. _

_"That's not true! You must have had something you've always wanted!" he pressed and put his arm protectively around her waist. _

_"You've already figured out the pony Jane!" she teased him, trying to change the subject. Jane chuckled at that warmly but she didn't manage to divert his attention._

_"Come on… Tell me about your ideal birthday, please!" he pleaded with her and put on his best puppy face, the one he knew she couldn't resist._

_"God, you know how much I hate it when you do that!" she groaned with a scowl._

_"Not true, you love it!" Jane breathed into her ear before kissing her. "Now, tell me!" he said as they broke apart._

_"Okay, it's no big deal. I've always dreamed of a birthday on the beach. But you know, not just any beach... I wished I could be near the sea. You know with a picnic basket and the seagulls and swimming. I don't know, maybe it was from those silly movies with beach birthday parties in them." she blushed and hid her face in his shirt._

_"And did you get it?" he asked quietly._

_"On my twentieth birthday I went out to the ocean for a big walk. I guess that counts as well..." she told him with a sweet smile and snuggled closer to him._

_"Yeah, I guess..." he murmured but his mind was already elsewhere. He would give her the dream birthday because a lonely walk on the beach did absolutely not count! He just wished it were already her birthday, he couldn't wait to see her pretty face beam..._

And now he wouldn't see it. But of course it wasn't important. She was the important one, and her happiness. And if Derek was the one who could give it to her, then Jane would sacrifice his wish to see it...

He got up from his chair in the attic and grabbed the flower that he bought on his way to the office. He jogged down the stairs and was glad to see that Lisbon was out in the bullpen. He put the magnolia gently on top of her files and folders then sauntered out and across the bullpen towards the elevator.

His mind was already working on the details of her birthday when he stormed past Lisbon.

"Is everything okay, Jane?" her voice, laced with concern cut into his thoughts and it made his chest tighten with anticipation and hope to hear. She still cared for him, maybe he could make it all okay again.

"Yes, of course it is Lisbon dear!" he answered, sending her a quick smile before he went on. He had arrangements to make and researches to do.

Once in the elevator he pulled out his cell and pressed *69 since he didn't know Derek's number. The detective answered after two rings, sounding a bit breathless and busy.

"Morrison!" came the voice from the other end of the line.

"Hey, it's Patrick Jane!" he introduced himself.

"Jane, hi! What's up?" Derek asked and Jane heard the rustle on Derek's side quieten.

"I think I can help you, with you know, the Lisbon mission!" Jane said and heard the detective's laugh at the name he gave her birthday project.

"And what do you have Captain?" Derek asked in a mock humble tone.

"Let's meet up, private! I'll tell you all there…" Jane ordered as he stepped out of the elevator. He waved to Jeff, the old doorman on his way to the parking lot. Jeff saluted with a grin.

"Private? Really? That's the best rank you could think of for me? Couldn't I be a sergeant or a lieutenant?" Derek whined and Jane chuckled. No matter how much he wanted to dislike him, Derek was in fact funny and smart. And he must have been a wonderful boyfriend for Lisbon, cause she has been absolutely radiant with bliss these days.

"Don't complain, soldier! There are much bigger issues on stake here than your pride!" he told Derek and they both grinned.

"You're right, Captain! I will behave! Now, what do you've got?" he asked, changing the subject back to business.

"Told you, let's meet up for a tea and I will tell you everything. I have it all figured out, so all you have to do is distract her a little, then be there with her!" Jane said, trying to hide his jealousy which was threatening to bubble up and make him say things which would destroy all he had worked for in the past few weeks. He would be patient, and concentrate only on Lisbon's special day! It wasn't such a big sacrifice…

"Okay, where and when?" Derek agreed.

"What do you say to that place just off 19th street at 6pm? We have to be quick because we only have about 5 days left or so…" Jane offered and got into his blue Citroen.

"All right, I think I can make it, but if I can't get there by 6 I'll call you!" Derek said and they hung up.

Jane snapped hi phone closed and tucked it into his vest pocket. With the excitement of a new project started his car and drove off in the direction of the highway, the fastest way to get to the ocean.

* * *

Lisbon sat in her office chair, holding the pretty pinkish white flower in her hand. She marveled at the perfect arc of the beautiful leaves. They were so soft, looked so vulnerable but she could feel their solidity under her cautious fingertips. They were strong and breathtaking. She lifted it to her nose slowly and inhaled the sweet scent of the magnolia, closing her eye and remembering the first magnolia she got from Jane.

_She was waiting for him at their usual spot in the park, sitting on a bench, sipping her coffee. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and she enjoyed the sunshine on her skin with closed eyes until a shadow blocked the light from her. She cracked one eye open then the other, smiling at the form of Jane towering above her. He had an excited, almost childish expression on his face and his cheeks were a lovely shade of pink._

_"Hi!" she greeted him and tugged at his hand until he leaned down and she could kiss him properly._

_"Hello, dear!" he murmured against her lips and with an arm he reached around to push at her back and make her stand up._

_"Hey, what are you doing?" she asked with a chuckle but stood up nevertheless. _

_"I've got to show you something! Come on!" he grabbed her hand and she barely had time to throw her empty take out cup into a bin before he was practically dragging her across the park in the direction of a gate nearby._

_"Where are we going?" she inquired but he only fastened his steps, forcing her to jog along. _

_They exited the park and hurried down a couple of streets towards the centre of the city. They rushed along narrow streets and hidden alleys with old bookstores and an old school market with endless colors and smells. Lisbon couldn't get enough of it, but she couldn't get a look at everything either because she was quickly pulled on by Jane._

_At last he stopped on a corner and she almost crashed into his back. _

_"Patrick? Where are we?" she asked and tried to peek out from behind him but he turned back to her and deliberately blocked her view._

_"Trust me, you are going to love it!" he said with a beam and Lisbon truly had no doubt. "Just close your eyes please!" he asked and she bit her lip. "I know you're not comfortable when you can't use your super cop skills and all your senses but please for me, this one time close your eyes and trust me!" he begged and she couldn't resist him. She nodded and taking a deep breath she shut her eyes closed. _

_She instantly felt the change, her hearing getting more thorough, and her skin sensing every single change of the wind. She was alarmed but the tender stroke of Jane's fingers on her face made her relax a bit. He took one moment to kiss her and she hummed in appreciation before he pulled back and pressing a kiss on her eyelids he started to lead her by the hand. He stayed tightly by her side but didn't say a word._

_Lisbon sniffled into the air, and listened carefully. They crossed a bigger road with cars and other passengers. They turned another corner, went under some kind of a shade then out into the sun again. And then, just when she was about to get impatient and ask him where they were headed again she felt it. It was sweet and pleasant and complex and other worldly… She almost opened her eyes just to see what that heavenly smell was but Jane noticed it in time and put his hands against her eyes._

_"No, no, no! No peeking! No cheating! Not until we're really there!" he said with a laugh._

_Fortunately she didn't have to wait too long. A few steps later he stopped and pulled his hand back, sliding his fingers down her cheek and neck affectionately, making her shiver. She opened her eyes wide curiously, eager to see the mysterious place and her breath caught in her throat. _

_They were standing in the middle of a wonderfully colorful flower market. People were walking around them carelessly, sniffling all kinds of flowers and chatting with the sellers. It was peaceful and dream like and had a delicious scent. She never knew there was such thing in Sacramento. _

_"What…? How..?" she gaped and slowly turned around to regard everything until she was face to face with Jane again. His eyes were like diamonds, sparkling in the Sun and he watched her with awe._

_"I told you, you would love it!" he whispered with a smile._

_"I love you!" she breathed and pressed her lips to his in an urgent, passionate kiss. She didn't know how to thank him all the amazing things in life he showed her. These dazzling places and the joys in life she would have never known without him!_

_"I love you too! Now, let me show you something!" he nuzzled her neck then snatched her hand and pulled her into the crowd of booths and tables of flowers. Lisbon opened her eyes as wide as possible, sucking in every beauty of the place until she was dizzy with it. Finally they stopped in front of a table packed with piles and vases of flowers. Lisbon could count twenty different kinds of flowers just as she roamed the table with her eyes._

_At last she settled on the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. White and pink magnolias in a stunning vase on the edge of the table. She took an automatic step forward, drawn in by their loveliness._

_"These are magnificent!" she murmured and caressed a flower with her index finger shyly. _

_"Magnolias are the symbols of purity and perfection and joy. They resemble you a lot!" Jane told her as he slipped his arms around her waist from behind her. Lisbon flushed at the compliment and without a word leaned her head back against his strong chest, still clutching the magnolia in her hand._

Jane had bought her that particular magnolia that day, the one she first touched. And since then, al throughout their relationship the flower had been the sign of their love. Every time she saw this flower she was reminded of that afternoon on the flower market with Jane. It was their secret sign and she loved it.

And now that she sat there in her chair, replaying those wonderful memories in her head she couldn't help but wonder, did she make a huge mistake by deciding to refuse Jane's every attempt? What would she do once he stopped trying? And most importantly, did she really want him to stop?

**So, what do you think? I absolutely can not wait to hear your thoughts! Your every word is dearly appreciated and I hope you know that you are a huge inspiration for me! :)  
Thank you for reading and please write me a review with your opinion! It would mean the world! :)  
There aren't many chapters left for this story, maybe two or three, so if you have any request that you would like to see, you know maybe in flashbacks or so, please don't wait to tell me! :)  
Next chapter, hopefully soon, at the latest in a week as usual!  
Until then, xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys! First of all, thank you so much for the amazing feedback on last chapter! I was so happy to see that you liked it! :) Hope you know that your words can do wonders to my mood!  
This chapter… well, I really hope you will like it! And I think it would be smarter for me to explain and comment things after you read the chapter! Please enjoy!**

_Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it…_

_Chapter 13_

The perfect place. Check.

The food. Check.

Music. Check.

Flowers. Check.

A dress. Check.

Jane went over the list in his head, hoping he didn't forget anything. Lisbon's birthday was next day and he had arranged everything in the last few days. He changed a couple of things from the original version, adjusting them to Lisbon's current age. Clearly it wasn't her dream to spend her birthday on a beach with Hannah Montana balloons and a jumping castle. The surfers maybe… He wasn't really sure of that.

But with the help of Derek he made everything up and it was all ready for tomorrow.

He pulled his phone out and dialed the detective's number. Over the last few days they had called each other several times, making sure that they had everything they needed.

"Hi Jane, what's up?" Derek answered in a friendly tone and Jane realized that they could have been pretty good friends if they had met in different circumstances. He would have liked Derek if the man weren't dating the love of his life.

"Hi Private!" the nickname stuck on him ever since they started the birthday planning. "I'm just checking up on you. You ready for the Lisbon mission?" he asked, kind of hoping that something came up for Derek so he could be the one to spend tomorrow with Lisbon instead.

"Yeah, all set! I'm not on call tomorrow so nobody will bother us." Derek assured him and Jane repressed any disappointment. This was about Lisbon, and only her happiness mattered. He would suck it up and be a man for her, accepting that he couldn't celebrate her birthday with her. He wanted it to be special for her and it will be, even if he wasn't present.

"Good! I arranged things here at the CBI, she has the day off as well! Though, I have a feeling she's not going to like it at first..." he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she won't complain!" Derek laughed and the smile froze on Jane's face, just thinking about what the detective was implying.

"All right, if anything comes up just call me!" he changed the subject quickly.

"Right, I know!"

"And Derek? Make it special for her, okay?" Jane asked, almost pleading him to do what Jane himself wasn't able to do just then. How desperately he wished he could be the one making it special for Lisbon...

"Of course!" Derek said and Jane wondered if the detective knew about Lisbon and his history. If he knew that Jane was still head over heels in love with her. That he was irreversibly tied to her. That his heart belonged to Lisbon forever now. That he was beyond repair. That he would do anything in the world to get her back. That he wouldn't take the fact that Derek was her boyfriend into consideration if he got wind of it that Lisbon still had feelings for him… He would be ruthless and restless in his fight. He wouldn't play fair.

Ten minutes later he was down in the bullpen, laying down on his beloved brown couch.

The food. Check.

Music. Check.

He began the list in his head but the sound of footsteps interrupted his thoughts. Two, three pairs of feet. Rigsby, Cho and Lisbon, he recognized. The silent chatter of the three got louder as they approached the bullpen. They were talking about the case. Witnesses and statements and a dark sedan… Jane shut the voices of the boys out and only concentrated on Lisbon's soft but confident tone. She was so passionate about her work, so professional. He loved this about her, how she could get completely engrossed in every case. Treating them all as special cases, providing the highest attention possible. They all mattered to her and she didn't stop until justice was served.

"Jane!" her voice brought him out of his musing. "Jane!" he heard her voice from closer now and he could almost see it behind his closed eyelids, her leaning above him, hovering just a few inches. So close and he had to restrain himself from reaching out and pulling her to himself. Kissing her just like he wanted to. "Jane!" she shook him slightly and he realized that he got a bit distracted again. She was still waiting for him to 'wake up'. He stirred and made a show of fluttering his eyelashes in the process of opening his eyes.

"Lisbon... What a lovely sight to wake up to!" he sighed contently and waited for the annoyed eye roll which he knew would come as a response. But to his great surprise she only pursed her lips to keep from smiling and Jane noticed a slight blush spreading on her cheeks.

"Do you want to come and have a 'case closed' pizza with us? We thought about ordering but decided against it, we spent too much time in the office in the last few days..." she said as she straightened out.

"Case closed? What do you mean? You closed the case without me?" Jane asked incredulously, pushing himself up into a sitting position with one quick move.

"Yeah Jane." she grinned at him cheekily. "See, we don't depend on so much. We are capable of solving a case without the wonders of Patrick Jane!" she teased him and he crossed his arms, feigning to be insulted.

"Well, that's... That's probably a one time thing!" he told her and she laughed at him.

"Sure. I would call it police work..." she said and started to walk away.

"W-wait! How did you catch the killer?" Jane asked, jumping up from the couch and jogging to catch up with her.

"Cho found the murder weapon in the trunk of a car belonging to Anita's uncle after interviewing the suspects. He tried to put the timeline together and that's when it popped up that the alibi of the uncle couldn't be right. We checked again and found out that he gave his credit card to his housekeeper to buy groceries and that in fact he didn't have an alibi. Then it was all a piece of cake. We went over the witnesses' statement and guess what, the uncle had a blue sedan just like the one a witness saw leaving the scene...Officers brought him in. He didn't even protest too long. End of story." she told him and Jane scowled. The last thing he remembered about this case was arriving at the crime scene. How could he miss all of this?

They entered the elevator and she pushed the button for the parking lot.

"We are not going to wait for the others?" Jane asked hesitantly, glad of every moment alone with her.

"We're meeting at the restaurant!" she informed him and he nodded.

As the doors closed Jane's thoughts got back to the birthday project. Tomorrow. She would spend the whole day with Derek and he wouldn't even meet her. His heart clenched painfully at that thought. But he wouldn't interrupt their day, he wouldn't be such an ass…

So he had to give her the small present he got her that day. He decided to come back to the CBI for it after the pizza and then drop by at her apartment later that night. But not too late either, because he didn't need another awkward encounter with Derek at Lisbon's place.

* * *

Lisbon looked around the small table, resting her eyes on every one of her team members for a second or two. While the guys were counting how many times they found a lead that would solve the case she sipped her beer with a slight grin on her face. Watching them banter and tease each other so joyfully brought a very welcomed peace to her. A comfortable warmth spread in her chest, giving her the feeling that she was at the place where she needed to be. She was happy. And not just in her work, she was truly happy with Derek as well.

As she regarded Jane for a little bit more than the others she noticed the tiny wrinkle of worry or maybe concentration above his left eye. She used to trace that line with her finger to make it disappear when they were still together. Now she could only hope that it would not bother him for too much. She had a good guess what his thoughts were focused on and it made her rather uneasy. Tomorrow will be her birthday and even though she had told Jane a million times that she didn't want to celebrate, that she only thought about it as any other day he always said that a birthday was an important day. She feared what he would do this time after what he did last year. Back then they weren't together yet and now there weren't together anymore... But it didn't stop him from getting her a day off without her knowledge and taking her out for a whole-day-trip. She remembered how she protested when he dragged her out of the office and down to his car, practically kidnapping her, but Jane wouldn't hear any of it.

_He kept telling her how it was her birthday and she should enjoy it and that she will love what he had planned for them but Lisbon couldn't help the spreading worry in her stomach. If he had planned something that required an entire day and a longer ride with car, that couldn't mean any good._

_"Please Jane tell me we are staying in the country!" she asked and she didn't really calm down when he grinned at her playfully. "Seriously, where are we going?" she demanded._

_"Lisbon, how many times do I have to tell you that it's a surprise?" he asked patiently._

_"I hate surprises..." she muttered._

_"Well, birthdays are about surprises so you'll have to find a way to survive this one!" he shrugged as they speeded down the highway. _

_"Is this really about me? I bet you only needed a good excuse and my birthday was just coming up!" she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest._

_"Why Lisbon, I'm hurt. But because it is your birthday I won't take the offense and explain your behaviour with nervousness, which by the way is absolutely unnecessary!"_

_"Yeah, right!" she said and turned towards the window, trying to find out where they were going with the help of signs._

_It had taken them a little less than two hours on the highway and by the time Jane turned into a smaller road she was bored as hell. _

_"Is it a part of a mammal?" he asked, guessing what she thought of in their game._

_"No. I don't even know how you came to that revelation." she shook her head with an amused grin. Somewhere around the half of the journey she stopped ignoring him and decided that it would be more bearable if they talked._

_"It seemed obvious. An object which could fit in this car, I have seen one in my life, it's connected to animals..." he shrugged as he took a left turn. Lisbon noticed that they were going upwards on a slope._

_"Well, it's not. So, another question?" she asked, wondering with a bit of worry where he was taking her._

_"Okay... Is it green?" he asked and she huffed._

_"Green? No..."_

_She noticed that the car had slowed down and as she glanced out the window she saw a building not too far._

_"Is it brown?" Jane tried again, driving through a gate and towards a parking lot._

_"Yes." she nodded but her eyes were glued to their surroundings. There were quite a few cars in the parking lot and she searched for a sign which could tell her where they were going. When her eyes settled on a huge, colorful board though, she wished she didn't know. "No!" she exclaimed._

_"Now is it brown or is not? Please decide, my dear..." Jane told her with a grin._

_"I'm totally not going to paraglide!" she stated firmly and heard his chuckle._

_"I thought you would be a little more open." he said and she glared at him. "What? Come on, it will be fun!" he nudged at her shoulder then opened his door and got out of the car._

_Half an hour later they were standing side by side on the top of the hill, their paragliders behind them. The weather was perfect and they could see miles and miles of forests and fields._

_"Wow…" Lisbon breathed and let her eyes rest on the gorgeous sight._

_"See? I told you it would be amazing!" Jane grinned at her, tugging at the wires a bit to make them more comfortable._

_"Shut up!" she told him, but she was smiling as well. _

_"You guys ready?" they heard the voice of the instructor behind them and they both nodded. "Then hold on tightly!" the man laughed and Lisbon felt herself being pulled faster and faster. Then suddenly, she was rising, leaving the ground behind. She looked around with her mouth slightly agape, the wind blowing into her face as she took in the environment. It was breathtaking. She heard Jane's excited yells and as she turned to look at him she saw his beaming face._

_"What do you think Lisbon?" she heard his question floating towards her in the air, a hint of concern in his tone. He was afraid she didn't like it… _

_"It's spectacular!" she shouted back and grinned at him. "Thank you!" _

_"Happy Birthday!" _

So she really didn't know what he could have in mind for her this year, but she hoped he wouldn't try to top last year.

Just then, their eyes met over the table and she shot him a reassuring smile, hoping to ease any troubled thoughts that were invading his mind. He smiled back, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. She saw his face turn thoughtful for a bit, like as if he was considering her and she felt a slight blush spread on her cheeks. Then she thought she saw some kind of resignation in his eyes which was quickly masked with another charming, signature Jane smile.

"Please excuse me, it's getting late and I haven't had a good nights sleep in days!" he said as he pushed himself up from his chair and fished some money out of his pocket. "Daddy's missing his beauty sleep!" he joked with a grin and everybody laughed.

Lisbon narrowed her eyes questioningly as he walked past her, and she felt his hand slide gently across her back as he said goodbye to the team. For a moment she looked after him, watching as he exited and made his way towards his car in the darkening parking lot.

* * *

Jane got into his car and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to get back to the CBI and grab Lisbon's present. But his heart was heavy and he felt like a bullet had just gone through him.

She was happy. She was radiating happiness ever since she was with Derek. He gave her everything Jane couldn't and she deserved it all.  
The common saying came to his mind: 'If you really love her, you let her go!'

And he hated to think that it was right. So freaking, painfully right. He had to let Lisbon go, he couldn't be so selfish and keep fighting for her when she was satisfied with her life.

The way she lovingly looked around that table in the restaurant, her eyes sparkling, laughing at every little joke Rigsby or Cho dropped made him break. He couldn't keep going with his ridiculous plan to win her heart back if it would just simply hurt her.

He promised himself he wouldn't stop until she told him to, until she told him she didn't love him. But in that moment he realized that she was too kind and warmhearted to say the words out loud. She loved him, as a friend probably, and she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. She would rather hurt herself than to cause pain to him. Dear Teresa, his lovely angel….

He wanted her to be happy, and if she was happy with Derek or with any Tom, Dick and Harry he would have to let her and not play this ludicrous game of getting her heart back. He had to let her go!

So after taking a huge breath he started his car and drove back to the CBI. He waved to the doorman and got into the elevator, with a new plan already taking shape in his mind. He climbed the stairs up to the attic, two steps at a time.

He arrived and had to pause for a second to catch his breath and then he grabbed the formless package from his bed, wrapped in a nice, blue wrapping paper. He put it on the desk next to the window and then pulled the desk drawer open and took out a sheet of white paper. He reached into his vest pocket for a pen and sat to scribble down a letter for her.

About twenty minutes later, when he was ready he grabbed the package and careful not to tear the paper he attached the letter to the present. Then he made his way back to his car and drove off in the direction of her apartment. He parked a couple of houses down the street so she wouldn't see his car.

Jane was glad to see the lights on as he crossed the street. She was home.  
His hand was trembling, the package making a weird rustling as the wrapping paper met the letter. He swallowed and jogged up the stairs to her apartment. When he was standing right in front of her door he glanced down at the present and brought it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the paper. _I love you Teresa!_, he thought before putting the package down on the doorstep.

Then he knocked three times on the door and ran off as fast as he could. He rounded the corner and hid behind a row of bushes providing the perfect sight of her front door. He crouched down and waited for Lisbon to open her door.

In a matter of seconds she did and he smiled at the confused expression on her face as she looked around. Then she noticed the package and bent down to get it. Jane held his breath as she turned the present in her hands but before he could see her face while she opened it, Lisbon took a step back and closed the door.

Jane let out a disappointed sigh and after a moment he walked back to his car. His steps slow, his shoulders down. He was practically dragging himself to the old Citroen.

He did the right thing. He should feel good, but why did it feel like loosing? Why did it feel this damned painful to let her go?

**So, this was it. I know, it's angsty and horribly not what you've been expecting, but I was writing and this is what happened… I really didn't exactly plan on doing it like this either. But, I really hope you like it anyways, and I can promise that next chapter will end happily! Very happily because it will most probably be the last chapter. And I still hadn't decided if there will be an epilogue of not… (There probably will be! ;) )  
Your thoughts and opinions would be dearly appreciated, I really can't wait to hear what you thought about this chapter!  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing! You know, it means the whole world to me!  
Next chapter, hopefully in a week but this time I don't want to promise anything because I have terrible, killer literature and grammar exams this week (I'm really nervous, please keep your fingers crossed for me…) but I will try to fit it into my schedule!  
Until then, xxx **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone! Thank you all for the wonderful feedback on last chapter, I'm always thrilled to read that you like what I write! :)**

**Here is the new chapter, I know it's a bit late but it is actually the longest chapter I've ever written... I thought about splitting it into two then decided against it. I really hope you are going to enjoy it!**

_Disclaimer: I don't own this amazing show!_

_Chapter 14_

Lisbon closed the front door, stepping back into her apartment, looking at the strange package in her hand curiously.

She had no idea what it could be, but by the feel of it, it was something soft. She noticed the letter attached to it and tore it off the wrapping paper.

She was eager to find out who left it at her door, but before she could unfold the note she noticed something written on the outside of it. She grinned in amusement as she read the words.

_'Open the present first!'_

She walked to the counter and put the letter down and started to carefully unwrap whatever it was inside, with butterflies in her stomach. As she slowly peeled the dark blue paper off the present, it revealed something fluffy and green. When it was all open she turned it around and couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up her chest. It was a plush frog with crystal blue eyes and adorable smile.

Of course in that instant she knew who the present was from. Jane was the only one who could have thought of such a thing.

Lisbon clutched the soft frog to her chest and reached for the letter. As she unfolded it she saw that it was too long to be a simple birthday note even for Jane so she started to read it, keen to find out its purpose.

_Dear Lisbon,_

_First of all, happy birthday! I hope your day will be full of laughter and joy and love. You of all deserve it more than you think! I wish I could share all of this precious day with you, but I know that no matter how sad that makes me, it's not my place to be by your side today...(Well, practically tomorrow, but never mind!) _

_I think I owe you thousands of apologies, but right now I'm going to focus on this one. I am so sorry to hurt you all the time and sometimes not even realizing I do… I know I'm selfish and arrogant and I also know that you are too noble and dear to say so. You deserve so much better than me and now I know that. I know that I have to stop thinking about myself all the time and see that you are happy as you are. Without me…  
And as much as it hurts me to accept, I will do it for you. I love you. I always have and I always will love you from the depths of my unworthy heart!_

_I'm not going anywhere before you start to worry! I will stay right beside you and be your friend as long as you want me to. I will do my best to make up for the times I caused you pain and work for your trust all through my life. But I won't stand in the way of your happiness with other men. I swore to fight for your heart 'til the end of my powers and more but then something made me change my mind. It was you and your happiness. And seeing that, it occured to me that I never wanted to stand in the way of your happiness again. So I'm backing off. I'm taking a step back and giving you space..._

_But I want you to know that whenever you need a comforting embrace, a joke, someone to yell at or just a friend I will be right here, ready to be whatever you need!  
I wanted to give you a special present, one that is better than anything you've ever received then it occurred to me that the most appropriate gift would be an apology frog. So here it is, with the hope that it will bring a bright smile to your pretty features. _

_Enjoy your birthday and I'll see you at work!_

_With love, _

_Patrick_

Lisbon sank down on a chair as she read the letter, her eyes tearing up at the heartfelt words. She stroked the plush frog in her hand absent mindedly.

She didn't know what to do. Call him? Or go over to his place? No, Derek would be here in minutes, she couldn't leave. Instead she folded the letter and walked into her bedroom, opening a small box where she kept her most treasured possessions. She opened the lid and slipped the note inside with a soft sigh.

Then as she was making her way back to the living room to text Jane she heard a knock at the door. It sounded much like the one before she got the package and she hurriedly opened it to see Derek's grinning face.

"Oh hey!" she said covering her slight disappointment with pressing a loving kiss on his lips.

"Hello!" he murmured against her lips. "Were you expecting someone else? You seem confused." he told her as he stepped inside.

"What? No!" she shook her head, wondering if she really was that transparent. When he raised a questioning eyebrow she added "I just... I just got Jane's present and I thought it was him." she knew it sounded lame but she couldn't help it.

"Jane's present?" Derek asked with wide eyes and she nodded.

"Yes, a nice plush thingy..." she shrugged and saw the hint of a smirk on her boyfriend's face. "What? It's really kind of him, don't you think?" she defended the frog sitting on her counter.

"Yeah, it's adorable!" he agreed then he held up his hand with a brown paper bag. "I've got us some dinner. You hungry?" he changed the subject and started to unpack the bag.

"Starving!" she said and stepped next to him to help. She decided she would talk with Jane the next day.

* * *

Lisbon woke to the soft pressure on her neck and she let out a pleased moan, turning slightly so she was closer to the source of the tender touch.

"Good morning, beautiful!" a voice whispered into her ear and she let a smile spread on her face. "Happy Birthday!" murmured Derek, his lips finding hers.

"Hmm... Morning!" she sighed as she stretched. She felt relaxed and fresh, like she had a long rest. Then she noticed the sunshine on the floor of her bedroom, way too light for it to be only 6 am. "What time is it?" she asked in a confused tone, looking at Derek's shy smile and guilty expression.

"It's 10 o'clock..." he admitted and she immediately sat up, running a hand through her messy hair.

"Ten? I'm so late! We are both... How could you let me sleep for so long?" she exclaimed and swung her leg over the edge of the bed when she felt his hand on her arm, gently pulling her back under the covers.

"Calm down, we both have the day off!" he told her and her eyebrows shot up questioningly. "Jane arranged your day off at the CBI!" he added, reading her mind.

"Jane?" she asked incredulously, but Derek only nodded. "Since when do you talk with Jane?"

"Since it's your birthday!" he told her gently and nuzzled her cheek.

"Hmm…good!" she smiled and turned back to kiss him fully on the lips.

"Now, we have some plans for today, so… what would you like for breakfast?" he asked as he sat up, slowly getting out of bed.

"We have?" she asked back surprisedly. She would have been happy with a day full of relaxing in bed.

"Of course! So, pancakes? Waffles? Eggs?" he looked at her with crinkled eyes, listing the options as he put on a shirt and a pair of boxers.

"Umm…" Lisbon stuttered, momentarily distracted by the view of his muscular chest and legs. The sound of his rich laughter tore her out of her trance and she blushed a deep crimson as she looked up into his eyes again. Her breath caught in her throat when she met his eyes, his pupils dilated with the fire of desire, making his eyes darker than usual. He leaned back down and crushed his lips on hers in a passionate kiss, pushing her back on the bed with the force of it. She wound her arms around his neck eagerly and breathed in his scent as he devoured her mouth.

His hands pushed away the sheets and he lowered himself above her carefully as their kiss became more and more heated. She pulled the shirt over his head again and tossed it back on the floor, to almost the same spot he found it moments before.

"I was going to say waffles, but this is good as well…!" she gasped into his neck when they finally broke apart for air, his mouth finding her collarbone and smiling into her skin when he heard her playful remark.

"I'll make you waffles later!" he promised and his lips collided with hers again.

* * *

An hour later they were sitting in the kitchen, showered and dressed, eating the promised waffles with strawberry jam and whipped cream.

"So where are we going today?" Lisbon asked after swallowing a huge bite of her food.

"It's a surprise!" he told her and with a light smile he reached out and wiped the corner of her mouth with his finger, then licked it off. Lisbon couldn't help but be reminded of Jane by this sentence. He used to say this to her all the time. And no matter how many times she told him how she didn't like surprises he always insisted that they would have fun. And they always had fun indeed. So now Lisbon had to realize that thanks to Jane, she no longer hated surprises…

"All right! But it's not a surprise party, is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"No!" he chuckled, shaking his head in mock indignation as if the thought of a party would be so outrageous.

"Okay then. We can go if you're ready!" she announced as she finished her coffee and put her plate in the sink.

"Let's go!" he said excitedly and grabbing his car keys, Derek led her out of her apartment.

The drive proved to be longer than Lisbon had expected and she was alternating between gazing curiously out the window, guessing where they could be headed and shooting Derek, who had an undeniably amused and smug grin on his face, questioning looks, urging him to tell her their destination.

The landscape started to change slowly and Lisbon caught sight of the ocean every now and then. Her heart fluttered in nervous excitement, but she didn't say a thing until they finally left the highway and started to follow smaller streets, indisputably heading for the shore.

"We're almost there…" Derek said as he pulled over and parked the car.

"I hoped so!" she teased as they both got out, breathing in the fresh, salty ocean air. Lisbon closed her eyes and enjoyed the sunshine on her face, letting the wind blow her hair for a few seconds. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Derek a couple of feet away, looking at her with a gentle smile. "Sorry…" she told him with a blush, walking to his side.

"You don't have to be!" he said and took her hand. "I'm a bit nervous!" he admitted and she couldn't contain a chuckle.

"What? Why?" she inquired, more and more curious by the second.

"I just… hope you are going to like this!" he said self consciously and Lisbon's heart almost melted at his cuteness.

"I already love it!" she murmured, stopping in their walk to step in front of him and press a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you!"

They continued their lazy stroll but Lisbon could feel the anxiety in him from the way he squeezed her hand. She squeezed back reassuringly and had a guess that they were indeed headed to the beach because the street ended three blocks from where they were.

And just like she thought they didn't stop until they reached the beach. She felt the sand under her feet and fought the urge to stop and take off her shoes to feel it between her toes. It was more windy there and she slightly pulled her jacked tighter around herself.

"Are you cold?" Derek asked worriedly and she shook her head.

"Nope, don't worry I'm fine." She told him and turned towards the endless sea. "This is amazing!" she sighed, her eyes wandering over the surface of the water, marveling how the sunbeams were dancing across it, making it glitter.

"Yes it is!" Derek agreed and they both stopped for a minute of two to just take in all the beauty of it, Derek's eyes eventually leaving the sea and settling on Lisbon's awed expression. He gave her some more time, then decided it was time to go on, his excitement getting the better of him. "Come on! Let's go…" he pulled at her hand and without much protesting she let him drag her onward, her eyes still glued to the sight next to them.

As a kid she always thought there wasn't anything more mysteriously fantastically stunning than the infinity of the ocean. She believed it to be the source of adventures and secrets and great beauty and when she first saw it live she thought it was out of this world. The sound of waves hitting the shore soothing her nerves, relaxing her to the point of forgetting about the whole world. She was certain she could sit on a beach all day long and watch the water, listen to the waves as they licked the rocks and just think about nothing at all.

And even though she lived on the West Coast most of her adult life, Lisbon didn't really spend much time seaside despite her love for the ocean. It was a shame, but she never had the time to just leave her work for a few days and come out here to relax. But as a result of this, it was always a special time when she was there.

Her eyes came to rest on a half cove nearby, created by smaller rock which hid the beach from view as well. She cast a sideways glance at Derek and saw his eyes on the rocks too, a coy smile tugging at his lips.

Lisbon's heart began to thump crazily as the approached and she felt Derek's nervousness radiate and seep into her. He led her right to the edge of the water and paused.

"We kind of need to take our shoes off..." he said hesitantly with an apologetic smile. "Through water is the only way to the cove, that and climbing the rocks but I figured this might be better." he offered as an explanation but she didn't really need it. She was already bending down, untying her laces and slipping out of her shoes and socks. Then she tugged her jeans up so they wouldn't get too wet.

Derek was only stepping out of his own shoes when she took a step towards the water, letting out a gasp as the cool waves surrounded her feet. She heard him hurry after her and felt his fingers tangle with hers a second later.

They walked slowly, getting used to the water on their skin but also enjoying the feel of small stones and sand beneath their feet.

Then they rounded the cliffs and Lisbon was taken aback by the sight that unfolded in front of her. She was absolutely not ready for the unspoiled beauty of nature that the bay provided. It was like a private glimpse to a magical land.

There was a huge blanket on the narrow beach, just at the foot of the rocks and a few steps away from the sea. A basket in the middle of it and the whole scene surrounded with dozens of flowers. As they got closer she recognized the exceptional and unmistakable scent of lilies and she took a deep breath to let the smell pervade her senses.

"Oh my God…" she gasped and turned to look at Derek who was standing by her side with a grin, eyeing her face to see her reaction. "Is this..?" she asked, nodding towards the scene to make sure.

"Happy Birthday Teresa!" he told her gently and she leaped forward to hug him.

"Thank you!" she murmured into his neck and felt his arms tighten around her for a bit as he squeezed.

"Now, shall we?" he asked and when Lisbon nodded, he took her arm and led her ceremoniously out of the ocean.

They got to the blanket barefoot, their shoes in their hands and Lisbon could feel the sand between her toes. The ocean air mixed with the smell of the flowers and the sun was beaming down at them with full force.

She couldn't really find the words to express her emotions so Lisbon stayed quiet while they sat down and Derek removed the lid of the basket. He took out boxes of fruits and some sandwiches. Two bottles of orange juice and a pack of caramel. He also found some cutlery in there as well as napkins.

"This is amazing!" she told him with a smile, taking the napkins from him and unfolding some to put the food on it.

"I'm glad you like it!" he said with slightly flushed cheeks. "You look so beautiful! Did I already tell you that?" he asked and she felt her own cheeks burn.

"No, you didn't…" she muttered and opened one of the boxes to reveal sliced apples.

"Well, then I'm telling you! You look absolutely wonderful!" he said and pulled her face towards him to kiss her softly.

"Thank you!" she said, her eyes fixed on her lap.

They ate the late brunch while talking and staring out at the ocean, getting lost in the sight or in each other. Lisbon was sure that she had never been treated to something as romantic as this and it gave her a weird feeling in her stomach. But she was enjoying herself all the more and she couldn't help but believe Derek when he told her over and over again how pretty she looked and take delight in the way his eyes were sparkling as he looked at her.

They spent the whole day on that small secluded part of the beach then as it started to get chilly they packed the basket up and folded the blanket inside it. Derek took her hand and they made their way back out to the main beach through the water.

"Would you like to take a short walk before we head home?" he asked from her with a sly glint in his eye.

"Yeah, sure! That would be nice…" she nodded and looked out at the sea again, admiring as the sun went down, casting a deep red and orange color over the surface.

Derek took the lead again and she let him, her eyes running over the beach in front of them, watching a man with a dog a couple of yards ahead. The dog was playing with the waves, sprinting in and out of water and following his owner who seemed to be on a jog. Then she noticed two children building something out of sand, their parents sitting on rocks not too far.

She didn't even realize they stopped walking until Derek pulled at her hand to get her attention. She looked up and saw that they were standing in front of a small building. A nice looking beach restaurant with a small, wooden terrace and a modest entrance.

"Derek, what is this?" she asked in a confused voice.

"I thought we could have some dinner here…" he offered and she let a warm smile spread on her lips.

"I'd love to!" she told him and her heart swelled at the sight of his happiness. She took a step towards the restaurant but he held her back and she raised her eyebrow.

"First, I have something for you!" he said and Lisbon was confused when he reached into the basket and took a gift bag out of it.

"How the hell did that get in there?" she blurted out and Derek chuckled.

"It was there all along, you just never saw it! Now, take it please, it's your birthday gift from me!" he nudged her hand with the bag.

"I thought this whole day was that!" she teased but took the bag from him.

"Yeah, but I still would like to give that to you!" he said and waited for her to open it.

She pulled the bag open with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she reached inside. She pulled out the item which felt like some kind of clothing and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the glamorous deep green chiffon of which the knee-long dress was made.

"Wow… this is…breathtaking!" she said as she grasped the fabric.

"It will be on you!" he winked at her and pushed her in the direction of the restaurant. "Will you wear this tonight?" he asked hopefully and all Lisbon could do was nod.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the bathroom of the restaurant feeling like a princess. She nervously smoothed the dress down and gripped the gift bag with her casual clothes in it. Derek was waiting for her at the desk, turning towards her as he heard her footsteps. She saw his eyes widen and a smile spread on his face when he set eyes on her.

"Wow, you look incredible!" he complimented her for the thousandth time that day.

"Thank you, really!" she smiled and let him take her hand.

A waiter came and led them to the back of the building, opening the door of a separated room. Lisbon shot Derek a questioning look but he only smiled at her and pressed his hand on the small of her back to assure her.

"I didn't know you made reserv..Oh...!" she said but her sentence was cut off as soon as she got sight of the room.

It was dimly lit by candles and the only table was placed in the middle of the room. There was a small bouquet of flowers on the table and several other vases full of flowers on a side table. Soft music was playing, giving the room a cozy atmosphere.

"Derek..." she gasped but he kissed her on the cheek to silence her.

"It's not all my credit." he admitted as they stepped to the table and he pulled out her chair for her.

Her eyes fell on her plate and her breath hitched in her throat. She reached out and traced the single flower on her plate with her finger. It was a magnolia...

"Jane had been a tremendous help for me throughout planning and arranging this!" Derek said but his words only registered at the back of her mind. It was like she heard them but couldn't understand what he was saying.

Suddenly everything clicked into place. The whole day was just too perfect, it was her dream birthday. The previous odd feeling in her stomach was supposed to remind her that there was only one person who she had told her dream birthday about. And it was no other than Jane.

Lisbon picked up the magnolia and turned it between her fingers, gazing at it. She was touched by what Jane did. He wanted her to have this day, but he knew he couldn't be the one to give it to her, so he helped Derek. It wasn't really a thing Patrick Jane usually did. It was special, and it made her birthday all the more perfect.

"Teresa? Is everything all right?" Derek's worried voice brought her out of her thoughts and she blinked at him, the flower still in her hand.

"Yeah, it's… it's fine…" she stuttered and forced a smile on her face. Her attempt was feeble but Derek generously let her get away with it, probably oblivious to the thoughts that were running through her head. "Let's eat!"

* * *

It was dark by the time they got back to Sacramento. They barely spoke on the ride and Lisbon felt sort of guilty about it. And about the things going on in her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about Jane. About the letter he wrote her and about her feelings for him. Who was she trying to fool for months now? She fell for him all those years ago and no matter what she did it wouldn't change.

He arranged this beautiful day for her, completely selfless, giving the opportunity to make her happy with it to Derek. Her happiness, that was the important thing for Jane just like he wrote in his letter. And that was something no man has ever done for her.  
She felt horrible about it, but from the moment she realized that this whole day came from Jane's mind she couldn't help but wonder why it was Derek there with her and not her blond consultant? Wonder how much of this was Derek's idea?

But of course she knew why Derek was there with her. Because Jane thought that would make her happy. He gave her space, took a step back just like he said he would.

And she thought she wanted just that. But now she had to figure out that she was wrong. Because no matter how much Derek tried, he couldn't possibly be the one man she needed for her happiness. He couldn't be Patrick Jane.

The ride back seemed shorter than the one to the beach, probably because she was deep in thought the whole time. She didn't bother to change back into her casual clothes and her dress was splayed on the seat as she pulled her legs up and tucked them under herself.

Derek must have felt that something was off because he stayed quiet as well. His eyes were fixed on the road most of the time, but at red lights Lisbon felt him looking at her in confusion. She avoided his eyes, smiling at him every once in a while.

Finally when they arrived at her apartment Derek unbuckled his seatbelt but stopped his movements as he realized that she wasn't moving.

"Teresa? We're home…" he murmured gently and placed a hand on her arm. She stared out of the windshield and regarded her street.

She knew what came next. She had to choose. Jane or Derek. She was happy with Derek, she felt loved and cherished. But she also knew that the feeling wouldn't last forever, it would die out and leave them both feel empty and bored. She didn't want this to end in boredom. Neither of them deserved that!

If she let him get in the house with her now, that would settle it. And she needed to talk to Jane tonight. She needed to clear things up, she needed to talk to him.

She very slowly unbuckled her own belt and turned to him in her seat.

"Derek? We need to talk…"

* * *

Jane spent the whole day trying to divert his attention from Lisbon. However, he always ended up staring into nothing, wondering what she could do at the moment. Where she could be? And whether or not she enjoyed herself…

He imagined her glorious smile as she got sight of the ocean, as the first whiff of ocean air got caught in her brown waves. Her reaction to the little cove he found. The dress… He wished more than anything he could see her in that lovely green dress. He couldn't help but think about the moment she noticed the magnolia. Would she realize it was from him? Would Derek tell her that he helped in the planning? Would she understand what it meant, or would she think it was just another flower? One from the thousand other in the room?

He was useless all day. He couldn't focus on cooking or on housework. He couldn't come up with crazy theories or ways to annoy his co-workers. VanPelt had sent him home after lunch when she saw how distracted he was. He wound up in the park, sitting on a bench near the pond, watching kids and pigeons and everything and nothing in particular. Just staring in front of himself, thinking about Lisbon.

Was his decision to let her go a mistake? Would he regret it? Would he be able to keep it? He was afraid not…

As it got dark around him, he left the park and headed home. He wanted to go to Lisbon's place just to see her when she got home, just to see her face, see the pleasure of the day in her eyes. Even if that meant that he had to see her with Derek, he had to witness as the two of them made their ways inside and closed the door. And his imagination would no doubt get wild, and he would see all the things they would do that he wasn't able to do with her anymore…

He knew it would be too painful. So as soon as he got home, he lay back on his bed, fully clothed and stared up at the ceiling. He watched the light of the passing cars reflect and the beam of the streetlight on the wall, concentrating on keeping his mind blank.

His insides were burning with it, aching for her. He knew he couldn't have her though, and he had already made up his mind. He had to stick to it even if it was the hardest thing he ever did. He promised to himself and to her.

He didn't know how much time passed, it could have been hours or just minutes, he just lay on his back, his hands clasped on his stomach, tired eyes half closed. He would have waited for dawn like that, he would have waited until he had no other choice than to get up, have a shower and get a grip on his feelings so that he could go to work. So that he could pretend for her sake that it was all right, that he didn't hurt like millions of knifes were stabbing his heart every time he thought about letting her go. He would have gone through it for her, to be there for her as a friend. He would have been selfless for once and only thought about her happiness just like he managed to do for her birthday, he would have done it if it weren't for the knock on his door.

His eyes snapped open and he waited for a moment. He was about to get back to his miserable thoughts, sure that it was only his imagination playing with his mind when he heard it again. He went rigid on the bed, frozen like a statue, his heart rumbling in his chest. He listened carefully, waiting to hear footsteps when whoever was at the door realized that he wouldn't be home, or he wouldn't answer and just leave. But he heard nothing until a third, hesitant knocking came from the front door.

Jane sat up on his bed, his hair falling into his eyes and he ran a hand through his curls. He jumped out of bed and headed for the door through the living room.

He was standing in front of the closed door, staring at it, trying to calm his racing thoughts, trying to be rational. He wasn't sure he could survive the disappointment when he opened the door if he allowed his hopes to blossom. He waited one more moment to see if the visitor would give up but they didn't, so he took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob.

When he pulled the door open his mind finally went completely and totally blank for the first time that day. All he could do is widen his eyes and stare at the striking, angelic creature in front of him.

Lisbon was standing on his doorstep, her hair rumpled from the night breeze, her cheeks flushed, her eyes… her amazing emerald eyes sparkling with so much emotion that it was too much to take. She was in the dress he chose, in that forest green beauty that he knew would fit her like a glove. And how right he was!

In the second he set eyes on her, he knew he would never be able to keep his promise!

"Lisbon…" he whispered, his voice too hoarse to come out properly.

"I don't want space. I don't want you to take a step back. I don't need anyone else but you! I need all of you! And right now, I need you to kiss me!" Lisbon said and she barely got time to finish it before his arms were around her. His eager, tender lips pressed against hers in the most sensual, most passionate, most adoring kiss that either of them could have imagined. The kiss of true love! And with that one kiss Jane promised her new things. He promised her his full heart and soul, he promised her that he would be there forever, that he would trust her and that she could trust him. He promised that he would never give up on them. That was how it was supposed to be because their hearts belonged to each other.

**So, this was it. The final chapter! What do you think guys? All thoughts would be appreciated! You know how much I love to read your opinion, so please leave me a review! It would mean the world to me... :)**

**I have an epilogue planned for this story, so practically one more chapter to go!**

**Thank you for reading and a huge thanks to those of you who take the time to review! You are all true inspiration for me!**

**The epilogue will be up in about a week!**

**Until then, xxx**


	15. Epilogue

**Hi guys! Thank you all for the wonderful feedback on last chapter and in general all throughout this story! You make writing so much more fun and all the work is completely worth it. You are my inspiration and your dear words make me want to be a better writer! I'm grateful for you all… :)**

**But, I won't keep rambling here, I'll just write all of this at the end of the chapter! So here it goes, I hope you will enjoy it!  
I'm sorry for any mistakes, I tried to check it out multiple times but it's possible that there are some errors! Thank you for your understanding! :) **

_Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own this amazing show…_

_Epilogue_

Jane crossed the huge living room to the open French doors. The light breeze of the night came in through the doors and he found it refreshing. Passing by the cream coloured couch he lay his suit jacket on the backrest, unbuttoning his cuffs as he walked on.

He stepped out onto the small terrace and ran his eyes over the view. Beautiful green grass and the valley that spread underneath the hill the house was situated on. His eyes settled on her and he sighed contently. He couldn't have wished for anything more...

He walked closer to where she was standing, arms around herself, looking out at the sky.

"Hey!" he murmured into her neck as he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She slightly startled at the sudden touch but instantly relaxed against him as she recognized him.

"Hi!" she greeted him, her hands landing on his on her waist as she snuggled back into his chest. He could hear the smile in her tone and it warmed his heart. His eyes fell on their now joined hands and he too allowed himself a smile as he saw the modest but no less gorgeous ring on her finger.

Teresa Lisbon. His fiancé, and soon to be wife. Very soon if he had any say in it... She made him the happiest man in the universe and he could never be grateful enough for the second chance he got from her.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, linking his fingers with hers and inhaling her sweet scent.

"Just that how many things had happened in this last year. You remember what we did exactly one year ago?" she asked and he did. He remembered as clearly as it was yesterday, her words bringing images up in his mind.

_He was nervous, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He pushed the front door open with his foot, balancing the heavy box of tools in his arms as he crossed the familiar living room. His mouth was dry and he had to force himself to swallow when he took the first deliberate step up the stairs. _

_He could hear her rustle upstairs, getting ready, waiting for him. They had talked about this and he was grateful to have her there with him, but the thing they were about to do made him jumpy nonetheless._

_He paused on the top for a moment, eyeing that dreaded door that over a decade ago made his life a living hell. He remembered all too well the silence of the house, the echo of his steps on the stairs, the white little note on the wood. Now he thought it was ridiculous, but on that very night he was sure it was just some silly note from Angela..._

_He shuddered just thinking of the horror that cursed through him when his eyes scanned the page and he had to find out that it was from Red John. Jane didn't wish that feeling even for his worst enemy._

_Now as he faced that door he was glad to realize that it didn't feel the same way as so many times before when he came here. Now that he heard Lisbon in the room, saw that there was a tiny gap between the wall and the door because she left it open for him, the nausea that usually took over his body wasn't so strong. Instead it gave space to a much greater and warmer feeling. Love. _

_The love he felt for her for being there with him. There in the room where his wife was killed. _

_This time as he approached the door, it wasn't images of __**that **__night flashing into his mind, it was the thought of Lisbon. And that lighted up his day._

_She was there with him. She chose him. She loved him._

_He entered the room and his breath hitched in his throat as his eyes fell on the bloody smiley on the wall. That much didn't change. Probably never would. His stomach would clench painfully every time he saw a bloody smiley again. Luckily, those wouldn't be real ones now since Red John was finally dead. It was over..._

_And now he wanted to do the finishing touches._

_His eyes found Lisbon, her back to him watching the wall. She looked so peaceful and strong. Like the thought of standing in the same room where Jane's wife was killed didn't affect her the slightest. But as he came closer, he saw the hidden signs of deep grief and sorrow on her pretty face._

_"Hey, you're ready?" he stopped beside her and dropped the box with a loud thud. Lisbon jumped, just noticing that he was even in the room and he chuckled._

_"Uh.. Yeah. But, are you sure this is what you want to do?" she asked, turning to him, her eyes traveling to the box on the floor._

_"Yes, but you don't have to stay if you don't want to. Seriously my dear, you don't have to do this..." he told her for the thousandth time just that day and she did the same as every time. Shook her head with a determined look in her eyes. _

_He let an affectionate smile spread on his face and leaned down to press a kiss onto her forehead._

_"Then, let's get to work!" he said and bent down to rummage through the box. "Would you like a hammer?" he asked from her casually and she couldn't help but laugh._

_"Yes, please. That would be nice!" she nodded, extending her hand when he held the tool towards her._

_Jane himself stood up with an axe, turning to face the wall in front of them._

_"On my count!" he told her and raised the axe then lowered it behind himself a bit. "One... Two..." he swallowed one, readying himself for the significance of the thing he was about to do. "Three!" he exclaimed and swung the axe in one swift motion towards the wall, hitting it with such a force that the tool ended up staying in the concrete. _

_He heard the hammer hit the wall too, not far from his axe which hit the middle of the hated smiley._

_"You all right?" she asked in the sudden quiet after their strikes. He nodded, fixing his eyes on the axe he grabbed the handle and pulled it out, turning a good handful of the wall out as well. It fell to the floor, causing dust to rise around them._

_He raised the axe again and stroke, this time angrier, more desperate._

_Jane didn't know for how long he hit the wall, but after a time to noticed that she wasn't joining in. She was standing on the side, a few steps away from him, watching him silently. Her eyes calm and patient, full of concern and love for him._

_He looked at her, rubbing the sweat off his forehead then turned his eyes to the wall. _

_Where minutes ago the bloody smiley covered the wall, he saw a huge hole._

_He did it. He destroyed the last physical remainder of Red John in his life. He did it and he was still sane. And it was all because of that wonderful woman who now took a step closer to him, curling her delicate fingers around his arm reassuringly._

_He turned into her and took her in his arms in a tight embrace. She didn't refuse or hesitate to reciprocate the gesture, circling her arms around his neck as he clung to her. _

_"It's all right. You did it!" she whispered into his neck and a shiver ran through him. He really did it!_

_"I'm sorry, I know this isn't the best way to celebrate our anniversary..." he said and blew a light kiss onto her skin._

_"I wouldn't be anywhere else!" she told him softly. _

_"I love you!" he murmured and pulled back just long enough to be able to kiss her on the lips._

_"I love you too..." she breathed against his lips and replied to his mouth with matching passion. Their lips danced familiarly and he let the feeling sink in. She was his and he was hers and he was finally, after so many troubles, free. _

_"Now, will you help me break down the rest of this wall?" he asked playfully when they pulled back, his hands still on her back, holding her to him. "It's good for anger management, I've heard you need it..." he teased._

_"With you, no wonder!" she stated with a small smile, pecking his lips once more before gripping the handle of her hammer and hitting the wall with it._

"Good old times..." Jane sighed, getting back to the reality.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.

"Well, we could break down walls more often, don't you think darling?" he suggested with a sparkle in his eye.

"Let's hope we won't ever need to break down walls for that reason..." she replied seriously and Jane squeezed her tighter.

"That's over now, Teresa. We don't have to worry about him..." he promised and felt her nod against him.

"Yeah, I know!" she murmured.

They stared out at the sight in front of them, the Sun slowly going down in the distance. It was all so peaceful even though they weren't so far from the busy streets of Sacramento.

"I'm really glad we chose this house..." she broke the silence.

"Me too." he agreed, thinking of all the houses they went to see before they found this perfectly situated, detached house. He could already see their future there. Their children running around in the garden, laughing and squealing while he was chasing them with a hose, splashing water at them. Teresa would stand on the terrace, looking at them with that patient loving expression she often used with him, and shrieking in surprise when eventually she would end up all wet.

He imagined waking up next to her every morning and making sweet love to her every night before falling asleep in each others' arms.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked quietly and turned in his arms, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

"Just... Imagining our lives here." he shrugged and felt a little self conscious until she pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I've been doing it since we moved in!" she admitted, sensing his entirely uncharacteristic nervousness.

"You have?" he asked, a small smile spreading on his lips. He still had to get used to this sentimental side of her.

"Yes, and it will be perfect!" she murmured, stroking his arms gently.

"Of course it will be! Because we will be together..." he nodded and pulled her face to his for another kiss. "Come on, I have something for you!" he said at last and let go of her waist only to grab her hand and tug her towards the door.

"Oh I have no doubt." she purred, her voice dripping with innuendo and his heart sped up.

"Naughty, I like it!" he chuckled a little too raspily and quickened his strides.

They crossed the living room and headed for the kitchen. As they entered Lisbon saw a big wrapped box on the table. He picked it up and handed it to her.

"Open it!" he said with excitement and she started to unwrap it slowly. After a moment he groaned and reached out to tear the paper off. Lisbon looked at him and laughed. When he motioned towards the gift on the table she turned to it and saw a rather big pot with soil and a tiny plant in it, which looked like a tree.

"What is it?" she asked with a smile and lifted the pot from the table to examine it. He didn't say anything, only reached forward to take the small card that was thrust into the soil next to the plant. He showed it to her and Lisbon felt warm flood her as she read the sign.

_'Magnolia tree- The flower of beauty, sweetness and love!'_

"Patrick…" she whispered and looked up into his sparkling eyes.

"Do you like it?" he asked eagerly and all she could do was nod.

"But… these trees are huge!" she managed to mutter as she gazed at the pot, fighting her tears.

"Don't worry, my dear! We have an entire garden for it!" he chuckled and took the plant from her hand. She watched as he put it back on the table then he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Happy Anniversary Teresa!" he whispered and kissed her. She felt she would explode from all the love and wound her arms around his neck to bring him even closer.  
Their kiss deepened and the air got heavy and heated around them. Lips sliding against one another and hands exploring each others' bodies they stumbled out of the kitchen into the living room where the stairs led up to their bedroom. They managed to go up without falling and Jane pushed her gently along the hallway.

"I love you!" she gasped as he pushed her against the door of their room and he hummed into the skin of her neck.

"I love you more…" he growled and nibbled along her collarbone. His thoughts were hazy but he planned to show her just how much he loved her.  
And in that moment, as the light of the setting sun met her face, casting a golden glow in it, he knew that he made it. He was able to move on, he was able to find a reason to live his life again. That he had found the one person who could save him from all the monsters of his past, the one person he couldn't live without. And no matter where they were and what happened to them it would be all right.

They would be all right as long as they were together. And now he dared to believe, that they always would be. Because now, he could see that they were meant to be.

**And this is where it ends. I would love to hear your opinion, I'm pretty sure that by now I don't even have to tell you how much it means… So please make me happy with one last review for this story!  
And here comes the rambling…;)  
I would like to thank all of you who had read this story, even if you didn't leave a review I hope you enjoyed it and I'm thankful for your interest! Now, I would like to give a huge shout out to those of you who took their time and did write me a few words! Your reviews were my light in the dark and it always felt incredibly good to read them. So thank you, please know that without you I couldn't have done it! :) I'm absolutely overwhelmed by your support! And to those who always left a review, I hope you know that I can't even find words to express my gratitude! ;)  
This story didn't really end up as I originally planned it, but I think it isn't so bad like this so I can say I'm pretty much satisfied with it. Your feedback was unbelievable and it helped me through some serious writers' block…  
As for future stories, I don't really have any new ideas in my head right now, but I have a feeling that will change rather soon. But in the meantime, I would be happy to receive any suggestions and requests from you, so if you have an idea don't hesitate to contact me either in a review, or in a private message. I would love to hear from you guys! :) You can also find me on Twitter with the name reig27! :)  
At last, take care and I truly hope you see you guys at upcoming stories! Until then, xxx**


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